Calculate...

Insert: Calc. - Piano Ver. (Riseha) [Originally by Hatsune Miku]

Okay, I'm going to cover the above song one day.
Because it somehow speaks how I felt right now.

itsuka kimi ni sasageta uta
ima ja kanashii dake no ai no uta
kaze ni fukare tonde yuke
bokura ga deaeta ano natsu no hi made

[The song that I once offered up to you
Is now a love-song which is just sorrowful
Go and fly away blown by the wind!
To that day of summer that we met]

*smirks*
Doesn't that exactly speaks of how I felt right now?
Konnan no kankei no naka de...
Sono kekkyoku wa nandesu tte...
Wakaranai.
Wakaranai.
Demo, sono kekkyoku wa...
Kesshite sabishii no mono,
Tsurai no mono...

This is not the first time I listened to this song.
Actually, when I typed "Enraged" (my previous PREVIOUS previous post),
Including the other "Enraged" post, the longer version.
I was listening to this song as well,
And it just made my mind easier to type these kind of "emo" posts.
Well, not to say "EMO" emo, but... yeah, you get the idea.

And it linked to by emo-brainwave since the first "Enraged".
Somehow nicely made me cry as well, haha...
It looped as I typed...... yeah.

I guess there's a reason why I like this song that much...
And so, I searched for the lyrics,
And I finally know why.

meguriai mo kekkyoku unmei de
subete wa sujigaki doori datte
tsugouyoku kangaeraretara
sabishiku wa nai no ka na
hajikidashita kotae no subete ga
hitotsu futatsu mujun wo tomonatte
mukou gawa he to tsudzuku michi wo keshisatte yuku

[The encounter was just our destiny after all
And everything went according to script
If I could think so conveniently
I wonder if I wouldn’t miss you
All of answers I calculated,
entailing conflicts one by one,
Is removing the ways to the far side]

===

If I could really calculate whatever that's going to happen in the future...
If I could really calculate all the answers correctly...
If I could really calculate......

Perhaps, right now, I will take this in the different way.

But, I've already knew it, didn't I?
This is not going to end good.
Since it's gonna end next year anyway.

That's the purpose I made the card, isn't it?
That's the purpose I write those words in the ending, isn't it?
That's the purpose I didn't bother re-doing it, isn't it?

Because it's gonna end anyway.

Then tell me why, dear heart, that you're so much in pain...
So much hesitation when you wrote the words in the ending...
So much depression as the card broke apart...



*sigh*



Official or non-official...
I guess that's not really the problem anymore.
Who cares, really?
Even if someone else DID care,
They can't do anything about it.
And please don't feel guilty if you do,
Because it's truly not your fault.
It's my fault because I can't do anything about it.
Whatever the others like, I can't overwrite it.
Whatever the others feel, I can't take it away.
So just be yourselves, I don't care.

Go on, be affectionate with each other.
Go on, fool around with each other.
Go on, I already knew what's gonna happen.

Go on...



*sigh*



Nasakenai na, atashi...