For Her Sake

Insert: 4 Real (by Avril Lavigne)

I guess... I really should make a choice by now.
Whether I should leave her, or just stay by her side.
But really, what I really wanted was just...
I just want her to be happy.
I want to give her my best and help to shape her into the best.
So if she really rejected my feelings, I would still gladly stay by her side to see her being happy.
Or maybe... until she doesn't need me anymore.
Until she can finally stand on her own.

After hearing to all different point of views,
A lot of them said that there's a chance in this;
Even my heart told me that too.
But...

Somehow, at the same time, I knew that it might not work out.
After all, maybe she really just view me as her master, and nothing else.
When that really happened, when she finally thought of that and told me that's her answer,
I guess I really would just... you know, smile and try to make her happy again...
I mean, like, how it was, you know?

So if she wished for me to stay by her side, I would gladly do so...
But I hope whatever she do really will not disappoint me.
'cause if she really did that, I would be very angry.
Very.
Like, when she decided not to tell me that she's taking composition.
I AM angry, because she doesn't trust me.
She thinks I would laugh at it, but I certainly will not because of some stupid reasons!
I will laugh, because I think it's very good.
I will smile, because I can't hold back my feelings of proudness of her.
But I would never look down on her just because she's doing this.
She's doing something great, and she really should know it.

Really.

I would help her out, but sometimes I really think that I did a little bit too much.
Will whatever that I'm doing make her to go down someday?
I feared to talk for her, even though I really wanted to do so.
I feared to do stuffs for her, because I know the consequences might not be good.
I should control myself not to be too overpowering her, and let her do what she wants instead.
Suggestions are good, helping her to improve is good, but...
I guess I should stop... interfering with her. -sigh-

But really, am I doing her good? Or I'm just dragging her down?
Honestly, did I really teach her anything?
I don't know. I really don't know.

I'm not sure if my presence is something that she should be glad to have.

-sigh-

Again, I just hope for her best.
If I am not the best for her, of course I should leave.
And maybe I would.
For her sake.

为何我还在这儿？

Insert Song: 如果你也聽說

忽然我觉得，她没有我依然可以过活。她根本不需要我。有时候在她身边我是多余的。啊，真的好可恨把“情书“交给了她。。。的箱子。（我果然是笨蛋吧orz|||) 啊，好后悔。算了，不想去理了。

今天听了她的歌，我真得很为她感到开心：歌真得很好听。但，我也觉得很有压力、很自卑。虽说自身是她的师傅，但真正到底教了她什么？我觉得我做的一切都是多余的 --- 她根本不需要我的帮忙。在她身边有时候觉得很无力 --- 我不能再为她做些什么。而且，她的歌比我的好听许多倍！她还说什么很奇怪什么的。。。我操！这些作品让我多难堪啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~ 我都快想RAGEQUIT了你妈。OTL|||

啊啊啊啊。总之，我觉得我不配 --- 一点也不。知道她这么本领我真得很想逃了。唉。好后悔于那情书。唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉唉。。。。。。。。。。

讲真的：为何我还在这儿？我一点都不。。。唉。Haiz.
不想活了。OTL|||

= = =

在许多年之后，可能她已经不记得我了吧。
在许多年之后，可能我已经没有存在感了吧。
在许多年之后。。。

Black Malaysia

It would actually be nice if I'm an assassin, so that I can kill those that fails the people.
Even if it will take time to observe and plan, I will do it.
But I'm not.

I am utterly sad that the current government stays through such dirty and ugly methods.

Honestly, I'm ok with anyone who became the government, as long as they battle fairly and cleanly - because peace is what I usually uphold.
But seeing how BN wins is really something my heart became sour with emotions, and this is the first very time I feel like crying over my own country.

I can't vote - by the law - but I'm 21.
I'm a university student, I know what I'm doing.
I know what is right and what is wrong.
I've seen both largest power fight, and I've seen flaws in both parties.
I support neither, because neither fights with pure cleanliness.

But now BN really pissed me off by winning this through such dirty way.

I cannot unsee how this happened, and I definitely cannot ignore the fire in me.

If this is what they said about democracy, I would be happier if the English people come and take over the country.

An outsider stabbing us is always better than a country-traitor stabbing us.