Smile

Insert: Smile [Avril Lavigne]

Reasons that I smile...

Previously, I thought I can smile at mostly everything...
But after some while, I don't think it's really everything.
Well, no one can really smile at everything genuinely, no?

Yes, I'm always happy and the yada-yada-hen... but,
Hmmm... Recently... There's SO FEW people that can actually make me laugh...
And really feel happy to be with.

Firstly, my best friend / JI MUI / ENEMY-OF-MY-WHOLE-LIFE,
He's the one who's always by my side blahblahblah...
You know what? I've talked too much about him in the past,
And I don't want to be the third Michellephan 8DDD
So skip him LOLZZZ XDDDDDD
(Sorry eh Kou, but it's TRU PX)

Secondly, my JI MUI NO.2 / ONIE-SAMA / SEBAS-CHAAAAAN,
Aside for being there by my side and the yada-yada-hen...
She's basically my entertainment right now. 8DDD *kena piak*
SEEErious!!!
How?
Recently.............. ahhhh, You tau yourself arrrrr~~~ 8DDDDDD
And..........................................
You should REALLY just see the FACE man!!!
THE. FACE.
BY. YOUR. OWNNN!!!
It's so freaking AMUSING to see such a person with SUCH FACE.
Normally we're the one who kena tease kaokao,
But this time........................
Nyek. Nyek. Nyek.
*cough* Okay, to prevent me being KILLED by such a person,
I shall stop this right now. 89999999999

Thirdly.......
*sigh* I guess you people should know...
At least the OTHER TWO ABOVE know...
But I guess, for things like this,
Smile comes along with tears,
And...
Though I know that it won't last long...
I really DO enjoy everyday when I'm still in this relationship...
Well, if you really can call it a relationship, then yes, it is... kinda.
... ... ... ... ...Hmmmmm...
Whatever it is. *shrugs*
That's why I've done so much?
I'm not even sure...
Next time I should just buy a chocolate LOL!!! XDDDDD
でもさああ、本とに、戻のあいつ見たいよ。。。
お喋りの式。。。
特に英語をお喋りの式。。。
本間にあいつに見たい。。。
んんんんんんん。。。
まさか、あたし好きの人は全部こんなん見たいの人のかい？！=A=?!
全部は、自愛されないの人のかい？！
って言うか。。。
I was always watching over you, didn't I?
And... Did you just... entrusted that task towards me?! OAo?!
I mean, from what you said in FB...
And what does that really mean?
Does it mean that... Or... Uhhhh...
Hmmmm... Seriously, I have no idea.
And then you're STILL like that.
(BAH, stop thinking, stop thinking... *rustles hairs*)

The other reasons...
Hmmm...
I don't know.
Those are temporary stuffs, like jokes and so on so forth.
But for the real reason, I guess it's just that.

...maybe.

===

Okay, some random post~
Lalalalala~~~
Because I feel like typing~~~
Lalalalala~~~

SHOCKING TRUTHSSS!!! 8DDD

Insert: Fuwa Fuwa Taimu [by HTT]

After Nii-chan's birthday,
I went to find Onie-sama.
And............................

8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

SHOCKING TRUTHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

I tell you, it's a FREAKING hell JI MUI talkshow man...

"But I tell you ah, very small oh..."
LMAO!!!
"Second one, we first day kiss already lor..."
LEGASP!!!
"They finally french kiss liao! After *counts* 4 years!!!"
INORITE?!

Okay, you probably don't understand my talks above.
BUT IT'S OKAY~~~ 8DDDDDDDD
As long as...

I heard something very de shocking...
I FINALLY knew something very de shocking...
I SAW SOMETHING VERY DE SHOCKING!!! (after we got back to the house)

Of course, aside from the "gossips" and experience sharings (lolwhut?!),
There's also some several moments of "fantoi",
Especially when Onie-sama talked about the EMO links...

Though we/someone probably just ended that link for her 8D

Aiyo, amai-amai liao jiu jiang de larrrrrr~~~
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight??? 8DDDDD
Mukekekekekekehhh~~~ >PPP

===

Anyway, if you're wondering why in such hours I'm able to talk with them and... things,
It's because I'm staying over at Onie-sama's house,
With some certain bear. 8DDD

And I'm just so LUCKY that Onie-sama is here...
Because if she's not here,
I won't be able to listen to something SO MUCH epically SHOCKINGGGG!!!

SHOCKING I tell you.

SHOCKINGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

The whole story? I'm not gonna tell~

Lalalalalaaaaa~~~ 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

PS: Sii yeh Koukoubeh. You DIAM la when people mau tidur ni! =A=!!!

Calculate...

Insert: Calc. - Piano Ver. (Riseha) [Originally by Hatsune Miku]

Okay, I'm going to cover the above song one day.
Because it somehow speaks how I felt right now.

itsuka kimi ni sasageta uta
ima ja kanashii dake no ai no uta
kaze ni fukare tonde yuke
bokura ga deaeta ano natsu no hi made

[The song that I once offered up to you
Is now a love-song which is just sorrowful
Go and fly away blown by the wind!
To that day of summer that we met]

*smirks*
Doesn't that exactly speaks of how I felt right now?
Konnan no kankei no naka de...
Sono kekkyoku wa nandesu tte...
Wakaranai.
Wakaranai.
Demo, sono kekkyoku wa...
Kesshite sabishii no mono,
Tsurai no mono...

This is not the first time I listened to this song.
Actually, when I typed "Enraged" (my previous PREVIOUS previous post),
Including the other "Enraged" post, the longer version.
I was listening to this song as well,
And it just made my mind easier to type these kind of "emo" posts.
Well, not to say "EMO" emo, but... yeah, you get the idea.

And it linked to by emo-brainwave since the first "Enraged".
Somehow nicely made me cry as well, haha...
It looped as I typed...... yeah.

I guess there's a reason why I like this song that much...
And so, I searched for the lyrics,
And I finally know why.

meguriai mo kekkyoku unmei de
subete wa sujigaki doori datte
tsugouyoku kangaeraretara
sabishiku wa nai no ka na
hajikidashita kotae no subete ga
hitotsu futatsu mujun wo tomonatte
mukou gawa he to tsudzuku michi wo keshisatte yuku

[The encounter was just our destiny after all
And everything went according to script
If I could think so conveniently
I wonder if I wouldn’t miss you
All of answers I calculated,
entailing conflicts one by one,
Is removing the ways to the far side]

===

If I could really calculate whatever that's going to happen in the future...
If I could really calculate all the answers correctly...
If I could really calculate......

Perhaps, right now, I will take this in the different way.

But, I've already knew it, didn't I?
This is not going to end good.
Since it's gonna end next year anyway.

That's the purpose I made the card, isn't it?
That's the purpose I write those words in the ending, isn't it?
That's the purpose I didn't bother re-doing it, isn't it?

Because it's gonna end anyway.

Then tell me why, dear heart, that you're so much in pain...
So much hesitation when you wrote the words in the ending...
So much depression as the card broke apart...



*sigh*



Official or non-official...
I guess that's not really the problem anymore.
Who cares, really?
Even if someone else DID care,
They can't do anything about it.
And please don't feel guilty if you do,
Because it's truly not your fault.
It's my fault because I can't do anything about it.
Whatever the others like, I can't overwrite it.
Whatever the others feel, I can't take it away.
So just be yourselves, I don't care.

Go on, be affectionate with each other.
Go on, fool around with each other.
Go on, I already knew what's gonna happen.

Go on...



*sigh*



Nasakenai na, atashi...

MOVING AROUND!!!!!!

Insert Playlist: Angel Beats

As the title suggested,
I'm moving around...
In my own house.

Currently, I've been moved back into the master bedroom,
That I used to sleep in, yes.
Which I let my bro to move in...
Then it became a guest room...
And the yada-yada-hen.

Now, it's MINE again!!! 8DDDDDDD

Yay?
Well, not really.
It's quite frustrating to make everything right and... yeah.
But after they're done...
It's really satisfying that you're happy... with... the outcome?

Nuh-uh, I tell you.

Though now, it's "livable",
There's still a need to buy new stuffs for this room. =w=
And it's NOT yellow OTL|||
Oh well, at least for SUCH a room,
Yellow would be a lil' bit hot LOL!
Light blue is sufficient. =3

At least it's not the UGLY blue. =<=
Or I'll PUKE.

So now, what I still need:

1. Phone line (It's either a longer + double-headed one, or REDO)
2. An FULL desk - with spaces to put printer, scanner, etc...
3. A SHELF!!! 8DDDDDDD
4. Extension chord... one more would be sufficient, I hope. X<

I guess that's all for now... Hmmm...

And things need to do when that happened is:

1. Move the mangas OTL|||
2. Reallocate the computer OTL||||||
3. Move the keyboard orzorzorz
4. Move the clothes...
5. Move the lil' stuffs...
6. Movemovemovemovemovemove............ *dies*

Oh well, as long as I think about what's gonna be in the end...
I guess...
It'll be fine??? OAo?!

Anyway, currently:
1. There's computer to use...
2. There's a bed to sleep...
3. There's a toilet to do your daily stuffs...
4. There's places to... toss your bags all around 8D
5. There's a mirror...
6. There's an unplayable drum-set...
7. There's ME!!! 8DDDDDDD *shot*

Okay, I need to stop being lame. =w=

CIAO YOU PEOPLE!
UNTIL NEXT TIME~~~
BUAH-BAIII~~~ <3

Faith of Love...

Insert: Calc. - Piano Ver. (Riseha) [originally by...???]

As you all might have noticed...

My faith for love has dropped significantly.

I can't trust whether that person is real or false right now...

Or rather, I'm just being negative.

I'd rather trust the negative,

Than letting myself to be drowned in the heaven,

Then dropped so damn hard in the hell.

The pain that inflicted would be much lesser compare to the latter one.

But also thanks to my negativity,

I have no confidence or any sort of security of "love".

I keep on asking if it's real...

Yet, I couldn't control my own feelings.

Even though I know that it might not be true,

I would still fall deeply into that person.

Or choose to trust someone that I shouldn't.

But I guess, that's what makes us human.

And human's feelings are the hardest to control.

And the hardest to understand...

Sigh.

Enraged - 我正在崩溃中

Insert: Nee (Clear/Mimu cover) [Original by Hatsune Miku]

"You don't know how much I've fallen in love with you..."

Yesterday, mom bugged me with her fengshui-stuffs,

While I didn't slept well the night before yesterday...

...Thanks to some certain calls =w=

That, I guess, had already made my day quite bad...

After those, we started to chat...

On the house phone...

Yeah, it's rare, I noticed.

And I would do this only because...

My phone bill has gone waaaaaay too up:

RM247+ OTL|||

Okay, that aside...

We chatted...

Like usual, you told me your stories...

I told you mine... (Though you always say more than I do)

I have a great time, yes I do.

I even forgot the reason I was so enraged about in the morning.

Until you told me that...

Well, I can't stay in your house for that day.

Huh.

A huge stone just dropped onto my head, and broke apart.

Ah, yes, it might mean nothing to you, but for me, it does.

After chatting with you, I called Kou and told him this.

One point, he said "Huuuhhh... Then better if don't go at all?"

I agree to his saying, for some point.

And I'm thinking, maybe that present was meant to be opened alone.

Not with me.

Hahaha...

Oh well, that's what will happen in the future anyway.

I won't be around you anymore...

And I'm not even sure if you still--- no.

I'm actually still confused about our relationships.

Official or non-official, another good question to ask.

What means official?

What means non-official?

What must we do to make it official?

Is it feeling, or actions?

Hmmm...

At the beginning, I had no feelings at all...

Or, that's what I thought so.

...maybe not.

Since I walked like a zombie and closed the door.

Slumping onto my chair and stared at the monitor.

What should I say?

What should I type?

What should I reply?

Especially when you messed up my birthdate?

And seriously, did you really cared?

Oh, I'm not sure about that.

And I told you, I was NEVER yellow.

I may look like a happy-go-lucky girl,

But in my heart, I'm not at all.

*sigh* I don't know.

Well, a smiley face in the back is the best thing that represent my depression.

And as you went to work, you SMSed me.

My replies? Well, you read 'em.

But how many are truth and lies?

And which one is to tell myself, not to you?

"Dunno? Maybe both of us won't go to your place if your mum dislikes us. Hmmm."

You don't know how HARD it is to make this kind of "maybe".

You don't know how HARD it is to reply your messages from this point.

Regarding this...

"It's not important."

Oh really, now.

Not important?

So NOT important that I need to repeat that for a few times?

Seriously?

Or was I trying to convince myself that it's REALLY not important?

That I shouldn't mind it, that I shouldn't think about it?

"Don't mind me, go work, go work.

Just go to work..."

Half a truth.

I want someone to hold me now,

I want someone to talk to me now,

But you're far away, and you're busy.

And I'm in a deep depression.

And so... I shall close myself up...

For the time being.

The above, is what happened in the SMSes.

But during that time, I updated my status in FB as well...

"Sometimes, I really feel like smashing things, especially when I'm in rage.
But then, thinking about the consequences, I swallow it down.
And now, it hurts so much as I can't release it out.
Especially when the only thing you hold is your phone."

I already had a few images in my head,

That I wanted to throw out my phone,

And let it smashed open and break apart,

Just like how I did it with my previous phone...

But this phone, had another thing that I couldn't put myself to throw it:

The snake.

How hard is to get this snake,

How hard is to get YOU to accompany me and fix it...

No, I'm not going to break it.

And with this, I wrote the previous post in my blog.

Then, your reply.

And my reply:

"-shakes head- no. It's alright. I'm alright. =3"

Smiley face.

On the phone.

But behind those keyboards,

If you truly saw me,

Will you even feel pain when you look at me?

Trying to NOT cry,

Trying to reply in the best way for you,

Trying to convince myself at the same time...

That nobody would CARE that if I cry...

Nobody, would care.

Nobody.

"You have fun at your working place la. ^w^"

Yes, please have fun there.

I don't wish my depression to reach you.

I don't wish you to be sad,

Or feel any sorts of guilty.

So please, have fun there.

"I guess, if the love wasn't true, I won't be suffering so much right now"

So much pain.

So much suffering.

I had once forgotten, yet all are back again.

Nobody would understand this the best...

Except for myself.

And during this point, I have understood...

How much had I fallen for you...

Or rather, how deep had I fallen for you...

Even if my mind said no,

And rejected it with my whole body.

But my heart is like a magnet that wanted to be with you.

All the jealousy that I felt,

All the joys that I felt...

Looking at you with another person - regardless the gender,

Having you by my side - regardless what's the situation...

Your reply.

You said you would ignore me if I don't speak it out.

Hah.

"Then please ignore me for the whole day, please."

This, is a truth.

Since I'm so much in pain that I don't wish anyone to bother me.

But oh, so much that I hoped that you would appear beside me...

It's NOT possible.

So if you can't come, please leave me alone... for now.

Because...

"我宁可你真心的无视我，也不愿你假意的关心我。"

And with that...

"Oh fuck. I actually cried. *LAUGHS* This is VERY amusing... Very."

Though I said:

"Ke neng wo zhi shi shui bu hao, xin qing bu hao.

Bie zai yi, hao ma? =3"

You asked if it's your fault...

"-shakeshead-

Even if it is, I will not think as so. So no, it's not your fault. If I truly wanna find something to blame, it shall be everything else."

Yes, it shall be everything else.

It shall be me, myself.

Because I'm the one who caused myself to be like this.

You said you're sorry.

For what?

"I told you, it's not your fault. There's just too many things happened in the morning, ok?"

Yeap, too many things.

My mom, the band thingy...

I'm trying to grasp a space for myself.

But sadly, I can't.

And after listening to your replies, I just can't...

I can't let myself go so easily...

And during the "intermission",

I texted something,

Just to express myself:

"I hate crying.

'cause it waste my tissues.

I hate crying,

'cause it blocks my nose.

I seriously hate crying.

'cause it hurts my body.

Yet, I can't stop."

And there's a silence between the both of us... as you gave me time?

Hmm, I would like to believe that though.

But my mind said otherwise.

Negativity. Haha.

And so, I helped my mom out, AGAIN. (THE HECK?! =A=?!)

And went to school... finally...

Had a quiz...

As I threw my phone into my bag.

Because I don't it to become my bother.

The next time that you texted me,

I had just finished the quiz and had took the phone out.

"Aiya, wa bo dai ji e la~ x3"

Yeap, during this time, I've recovered.

So... well, that, during this time, is a truth...

Hah.

===

This is... almost the whole thing that happened yesterday.

Reasons of my depression,

And my actions that's in contrast of my words.

Though, if you really read at them,

I've shown too much of a hint about my emotions.

Especially in FB.

Where I don't conceal at all... regarding the same topic.

BAH!

I'm done here.

This is the truth you want, and you shall get it.

I'm not responsible on how you feel or whatsoever.

You may ignore, and just walk past away.

I don't care, and I don't mind.

Because that's how my mind said.

"You won't understand why is that it happened..."

Enraged

Insert: Highschool of the Dead [OP of Highschool of the Dead]

崩れた！！！感情の果てに。。。
何お見る? 何が有る? まだ知らない。。。！

There's a raging fire,
Burning inside my heart.
Most of you people might have already seen it but...

Have you ever seen me swallowing it?

All the while you people see is when it's already exploded.
But the process to swallow it down is just so hard and suffocating.
It's like, eating the whole volcano into your body.

It exploded inside your body.
You swallowed the all it's burning.
It's scorches you so much that you wished to release it out.

But you can't.

And so, it continued to burn you.
Until your eyes turned red,
Face turned ugly,
And yet, you're just another joker who can't release the anger out.

Slowly, it subsided.
But instead of becoming a calm emotion,
It turned into an icy depression.

The total opposite of flame.

The freezing ice of abyss.

It hurts so much that you wanted to cry.
Yet, you still need to swallow it down.
Swallow the tears that shaped like thorns.
Cutting your heart one by one.

After swallowing so many things into your body,
You don't even need to eat anymore,
Because you're already "full",
After forcefully swallowing those that you didn't wanted to.

Taking a deep breath,
Preventing myself from screaming out.
Taking a deep breath,
Preventing myself from throwing the phone out.
Taking a deep breath,
Preventing myself from falling down......

===

破かない、全ての未来は
唯無言に、目の前に、広がり続けた！！！

Trying to be calm.
Trying to be strong.
Trying to be anything but to break down.

Calm down, and take another step forward.
Don't mind that it's small.
Just ignore what's around you,
And focus on the front.

Stop listening, stop thinking...
Focus on your main journey,
Not the side quests.
They're NOT important...
Not, important.

Not.

Pain and Pressure

Insert: Little Pain [by Olivia, insert song in Nana]

I have never felt pressured.
Yet, I am right now.
I thought I've forgotten pain.
Yet, it returns right now.

Pressured, because of how good the others was.
Pain, again, because I can't be as they could be.

Having a smile in my face, is that really a real smile?
Saying it's okay from my mouth, seriously?

For who, and for what?
For myself, or for the other?
Why lie? Why can't I just be straight?
Why couldn't this path be straight? Why life?

===

我想要你来，但我又不想你来。(To my dear miss A)
我想要你陪，但我又想要在我的世界里。(To my dear mister B)
我想要和你在一起，但我又不想麻烦你。(To my dearest C)

人啊，真是个矛盾啊。

Confused by my own words.
Hurt by my own feelings.
Can't even step on one right side.

And when you decided to do that, you regret for not choosing the other path.

Am I depressed?
Why should I be depressed?
Should I be happy?
But that's my treasure that I'm giving away!
For someone that I cared of, for someone that I truly loved.
How can I make this best for both worlds?

A, B, and C. And D, though you're not THAT important.
You three truly make me suffer enough for today.

A, oh A. My dear A. Why are you so kind and attractive?
B, oh B. My heart B. Why are you so skillful and kawaii?
C, oh C. My love C. Why are you so...... *sigh*
D, oh D. My cute D. Why are you so hard to keep?

I'm putting on a smiley face.
But behind those keyboards, I'm having a emotionless face.
And inside my heart, it's a painful face.

Sarcasm. I love sarcasm.
I love that a lot.
Because I can talk positive stuffs even though I'm having a negative heart.
Oh yes, I'm being sarcastic right now.
Don't mind me.
Mmhmm.

===

Didn't have enough preparation.
Didn't have enough time.

那只是借口。

The truth is: I'm scared.
Scared that I screwed it up even worse.
Scared that I failed even after all kinds of hard works.
Scared that I put in so much efforts but no one appreciates it.

"Please do critic on my xxx, I will appreciate it =3"
Yes, I do.
But in the same time, I'm afraid as well.

What happened if I sucked so badly that I didn't even know?
What happened if no one likes it at all?
What happened if I had no improvement at all?

That's why there's people that I don't dare to face.

===

Sigh.

I guess that's all from today's experiences.

And yesterday, of course.

So in conclusion:
I'm a n00b in love, relationship, and society.
End story.

(Wait, it doesn't make sense!!! =A=!!!)

Of Junks and Eye-Contacts...

Insert: Bad Apple [Tohou Doujin song]

Okay, while I was cleaning my room yesterday...
I stumbled across a lot of junks...
And including some precious stuffs, of course.

Junks... like... well, junks.
And even those mathematics-usage half-circles. =w=
I have more than 2 of them in my house OTL|||
Why did I buy so much?! =A=?!
Oh, I remembered...
It's because sometimes I just forget to bring them to school...
And when teacher asked, I just buy...
It's just 50 sen for one, that's why... =w=
Ha...ha...

Okay, aside from the junks...
I found MONEY!
Of course, they're just coins. =v=
Nothing biggie...
And then, I found...

LETTERS!
FROM GRACE (THE SHINING GRACIOUS)!
WOW!!!

I can't believe I still kept them nicely Owo
Though I really forgot what's they're about...
I mean, the actual incident.
But I DO remember all the code-names. PX
Amazing...
Thank me for remembering them, Neez. 8D

Then... also SOME letters...
Some... unsent letters...
To the previous someone.

Hmmmmmm...
I wonder if I should just keep it or throw it away?
Keep it as a reference? For what?
Throw it away? Hmm... I did write some good words inside...
But......
...
...
...
Bah, I should've just thrown it away then.
Just like how I do with the very first crush's stuffs.
Okay. *nods*
Throw it shall be. *nods*
*throws*



It shall be forgotten.

Just like how my heart already had.

Frozen up, and forgotten.



===



[NOTE: This is already another topic]

I somehow realized something.

I can't make eye-contacts with some certain people.

Is it because of fear? I think so.
Since... well, I can face my college-mates well...
I can face my friends well...
But... I can't face two types of people:
A) The people that I feel guilty of
B) The people that I fear that I might have a crush on

Yeap, you heard the second one.

That's why... if I did not look at you when we speak face to face, it means that.
Or A, which is unlikely. (Unless I really did something wrong... hmm... Dunno? PX)
The biggest reason might be B.

That's why... Sometimes... I couldn't even face my dear. OTL|||
Especially that day when dear wanted me to record the process of...
......someone turning into a Lala-Mui (LMAO!)
[Which, I think, if I ever record it, it'll be a parody of MichellePhan =w=
And I'll be laughing until die when I record it...]
Anyway, yes.
I couldn't face my dearest because I know...
If I really faced that brown eyes and that cute pouting face...
I would SURELY agree to it. =w=

And I couldn't face those pictures of my dear at first...
Because they're so handsome and beautiful and pretty and...
Ooooooooohhhhhhh... *droolsssssss*

Okay, I gotta stop. =w=

And another reason why I couldn't very much face my previous one that much.
Because... yeah.
But now, I can see the pictures very well.
AND remember the face... (even if I don't wanna...)
And able to compare the before and after HAHAHA!!!
And perhaps, the real face to face, if I ever meet that freaking person again.

Though yesterday, I seemed to get used to my feelings...
And... I guess... I was able to face my dear for a few moments before turning away.
Yeah... I think so.
Wait. Am I still turning away? Owo?!
Anyway, I guess that's because...
Either I got used to that, or I accepted that I really is in love with my dear...
And definitely not afraid to show it out. <3

Yeap, definitely.
Since I can so openly wait for........ heheheheheeee~ <3
And missing dear for...... PXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh, you know what's the best thing that happened yesterday?
To be able to eat the cherry tomato...
...while watching closely at dear rushing here and there...
To make dinner. <3

Ahhh... One of the best experience EVER.

The way that my dearest moves and............. X999999



Okay, I need to stop acting like a pervert and start doing my stuffs. =w=



SERIOUSLY.

My Lovely Dear 01

Insert: Wish You Were Here [by Avril Lavigne]

[17.05.2010]

Today was originally intended to be an outing only for Kou and I...

No, it's not NOT a date.

It's just an outing. =w=

Suddenly, it became:

1) A meeting with some certain Leo.

2) An errand business for my mom.

3) A half-date with my dear. <3

The first one... Ehhh. =w=

Skip that.

Atashi no koi wa kono hito nantoka kirai dakara ne...

Kou mou...

Atashi mo... nantoka. Nantoka dake...

Dake...?

Maa, chotto mukatsuku ni nachatta dake.

Chotto.

Anyway, second one...

Ha...ha...ha...

2 glass containers and a chopping board...

And the chopping board must be a WOODEN one.

Daiso doesn't have.

Greeeaaattt... =w=

Fine, my mom said unless it's wooden one, she doesn't want it.

Ha...ha...

The third one.

I am FRUSTRATED.

Yes, frustrated. =w=

Because of...

1) SHE CALLED HIM INSTEAD OF ME WHEN SHE COME TO TS!!! =A=

2) SHE HIT ME WITH A HUGE BOOK!!! ;A;

3) SHE MADE ME A LAUGHING PRODUCT!!! QAQ

4) SHE ONLY HOLD KOU THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE OUTING!!! TAT

Fine. I beh song kaokao during that time.

I'm jealous? Oh yes I am. =w=

You should've see that face that I had on my face that day...

And she said it's because I bully her?! ;A;?!

YUAN WANG AH LAO POOOO!!!

I only have dirty thoughts after she told me that dream...

...

...

...

Uhhh. Ignore that part.

And it's her fault, not mine \(=3=)/

Oh, if you're wondering how Nii-chan suddenly became my "Lao Po",

Instead of "Lao Gong",

It's because she seemed to be more like an Uke than I am. 8DDD

THIS IS NO BULLYING OH, LAO PO~~~ 8999999

So...

We makan makan...

Get the shirt to Anatomi and let them alter it...

Buy buy some stuffs...

Then suddenly, an idea popped up:

"How about we go to Nii-chan's house and sing k?"

Ohhhh~ Not a bad idea~ 8DDD

And so, we ditched the plan to take out clothes from Anatomi at 5p.m.

And went towards dear's house...

The journey is kinda funny, but I'm not gonna say a word. ^x^

Arrived in her house...

THERE'S DOGS IN THE NEIGHBOUR HOUSES BARKING AT US!!!

=A=

"SHUT UP DOGS!!! SHUT UP!!!"

Okay, skip my inner and outer yelling part...

Not important.

It's already evening...

And so, we decided to makan as well.

But instead of singing k, my dear Laopo end up crossing Kou...

AS A TRAP.

Or instead, it's her fun session of doodling on Kou's face 8DDD

Or rather, that's what we felt. PXXX

Kou, I pity you. Lots lots lots. XDDDDDDDDDD

So, we took a picture of Kou as a... Seafood Girl??? 8DDD

And we end up so unsalted LMAOOO!!!

(LOL, seafood and unsalted... so many words to replace the original chinese words XD)

Then, we makan in her house.

After makan, we ciao, of course.

But then...

As we were getting my car, Laopo suddenly take my hand...

Well actually, she had been holding my hand for a long time???

Though it's like, she doesn't want me to go first...???

Hmmm...?????? Owo

Okay, who is holding who's hand first is no longer the main point here.

The main point shall be that...

I ushers her to go back, because it's dark and my car is very far...

But as I ushers her, she starts to hold my hand instead of letting it go...???

Hmmm... That's how I felt... Whatever. Anyway...

"Jin tian, ru guo you shi jian de hua, wo ying gai hui xie blog..."

"Oh." *blinks*

"Ru guo wo you shi jian lar..."

"Oh." *nods?*

"Lu shang xiao xin oh~"

*nods*

"Hui dao jia yao da dian hua oh~"

*nods*

"Bye bye lor~"

*nods and waves hand*

...

...

...

*chu~ <3, and walks away*

...

...

...

*FROZE!*

O///0///O!!!

*LEFT HAND FROZE AS WELL!*

"Bu yao tai xin fen oh~"

*turns around like a statue, and gives an "OK" sign with the frozen hand*

"Lu shang xiao xin ohhh~"

*another OK sign with another hand*

Dog barks again~

"Hello dogs~ *still barking* I know you love me, and I shall be back again one day~ *still barking* Bye bye~~~ *still barking*" This is me.

"...What's wrong with you in all of the sudden? =.=" This is Kou.

"Teheheee~ <3"

"...nan no ureshii no koto ga atta no? Masaka KISSU?!"

"...Maa, kuchibiru janai dakedo..."

"OHHH~ Hoho desu ka~"

"^///^"

And so, as I go back, I took the fast lane......

......and missed the Mid Valley roadsign.

Blame the kerajaan for making it brown...

Putting in the SIDE...

And unnoticeable especially in the NIGHT. =w=

Fail Malaysia, fail.

(Yes, I literally blamed Malaysia for everything... hahaha... XP)

Though the whole journey, I'm mostly smiling like MAD.

And the message that dear sent to Kou is a lil' bit too late.

"Please look after [Insert-My-Real-Name] for me~

Don't let her be too excited~"

Haha... Laopo...

Too late le...

We already lost liao...

And I already too xin fen liao PXXX

Anyway, we take the KLCC road to get back...

Which we actually get lost there... haha... =w=

Went into some certain old Klang road if I'm not mistaken...

Still, we got back before 11... I think?

Though mom talked about it a lil'. Haha.

But the most thing that annoyed me is actually...

Some certain Leo. =w=

Ha...ha...ha......

I'm not going to touch on that stupid topic.

It's very unsalting me. =x=

If Onie-sama wants to know, PM me ba. PX

======

Gomen ne Nii-chan.

It's not like we wanted to speak Japanese throughout the whole day...

It's just that, we're used to communicate it like this and...

Well... Sorry.

Really, sorry.

That we literally ignored you for the whole day...

(Though I was the one who felt being ignored... but that aside =w=)

But you're not stupid, okay?

And whenever you feel like dropping into that darkness again...

I really wished to be there to pull you back up...

If I can... that is.

And no matter how much you said ignored that person...

It's really hard to ignore.

And you even used her to threaten me. =w=

The heck?!

But it's another surprised...

That you know how much I care about that person's existence.

Therefore you can use her to threaten me... ha...ha... =v=

====== This is a borderline desu~ 8DDDDDD ======

[19.05.2010]

Dear, you tell me you wanna eat McD.

Of course, I don't let, it's unhealthy. =w=

But since it's only for the cup, I shall help you buy it.

Get out early in the morning just to buy McD.

But then I went to UCSI it's in renovation...

So I take a U-turn, and I went to Leisure...

And I park in the lot and I ain't coming back---

Wait. No.

No more that song =A=

Anyway, went to LM, bought the McD Cola-glass set...

Wah, there's so many things! OAo!!!

Got... The burger, frenchfries, a drink, and a sundae...

Plus a free Cola-glass.

With the price of... RM11.20 (Because I had Ribena for the drink)

But... I only want the glass for my dear...

The foods... ehhh...

SELL IT BA!

"Lelong Lelong~

McChicken + Frenchfries + Sundae only for RM5~~~

Ribena add RM1~~~"

*hit "Send Message" to several people*

*there's a reply!*

"Okay, Jack will take it!" by Melissa.

Ohhh~ There's actually people wanted it~ Yay~

So, turned back to UCSI, and gave the foods for Jack.

But... where's the sundae?

"Is it in the car?"

"...maybe?!"

*went back to the car and check......*

"Okay, I think I forgot to take it back... haha."

Yes, unsalted. Yes.

So, my class is until 4p.m.

But I don't feel like going back nor I want to drum.

And so......

I called dear if I can go to her house.

She said okay, then okay lu~

ME FLY TO DAMANSARA!!! <3

And get lost in ANOTHER taman right before my dear's taman LMAO!!!

Okay, I fail so much OTL|||

But I do have fun with Laopo-Daren a lot <3

We... went to a mini-date in a mini-mall...

Which, my mom and my sis used to go, to see the female specialist.

Anyway, in there...

I accompanied my dear shop with her own stuffs...

...holding her hand for the most of the day <3

I seemed to be satisfied easily... Hmmm...

But of course, for the trouble of buying that glass, it wasn't enough...

Heheheh... 89

Anyway, we had a short shopping...

And then we had a tea-break in Secret Recipe.

Mango cake~ 8D

And the tea is a LOL-ful experience.

Since it's refillable, dear refilled, and with different sugars each refill.

Well, it's not a bad experience, so... yeah. PX

We talked - or rather, she talked the most - about a lot of stuffs...

Laughable stuffs, and not-so-good-experience stuffs...

Well, I do enjoyed the things that she said.

And it's not like I don't want to talk about my own experience,

It's just that... I just feel like they're not so important... hmm...

For example: The fact that I'm born in... that kind of family. *nods*

She was quite shocked when I said that on the OTHER day.

And I'm like "Why the shock??? Owo"

Ehhh... skip that.

We had a good time, yes.

And... it's near 6 to 7 already...

So, I went to her house and eat dinner.

Damn, she really seemed like a lil' Uke [Xiao Shou] to me...

With that kind of face whenever she felt "bullied" by me...

(Which I didn't at all??? OAo?!)

But DAMN, it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute. *squeals~*

Can't believe she's older and taller than me... Heheheh~ <3

And I love to feed her the tomato, so cute~~~ (Okay, stop that Akira Rei. =w=)

And...

If I remembered it correctly, she DID say that "Ni lao po wo hor..." to me...

Heh... heheheh... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Told you I'm the Seme~~~ 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

So, I helped her out in preparing the dishes...

CUTTING GARLICS! 8DDD

Well, I'm slow, but yeah...

Ain't this job's supposed for waifu to do? =3=

You can't blame me for being slow de hor Laopo~

I never been into the kitchen anyway~

Only cutting fruits 8DDD

And also very slow LOLOLOL~ PXXX

After some while...

Finally can eat...

And...

YAY~ LAOPO COOK DE DONG XI VERY NICE OHHH~~~

Laopo, you're sooooo gooooood!!! <3

I really love the vege and the egg ^w^

Well, literally everything...

...except that pork. =w= Too hard for me...

Like chewing gum... OTL|||

But... well... at least Laopo fed me. <3

A good experience... yeap~~~ *heart signssssss~~~*

Eheheh~~~ <3

After the meal (ARIGATOU WAIFUUU~~~ <3),

It's time for me to go back...

Since it's 8p.m., AGAIN. Owo

Or rather, laopo chase me away ;3;

Sho bad...

I didn't do anything wrong... T3T

So, she holds an umbrella for me...

Though it's more or less pointless since... well, I'm wet anyway. Haha. =w=

(Or rather, I don't need her to cover for me... I'm sleeveless and with a cap anyway)

In the car... Or rather, near the car...

I was waiting for something from her.

But she didn't give it.

And I SENSED that she KNEW it.

She knew what I wanted but neither of us speak of it.

How I knew that she knew? Easy...

1. I get onto the car, she waved at me... but didn't go yet. (Normally she would've done that very soon...) But when I looked at her saying nothing, she seemed to be pretending that she didn't know what I want...

2. I said "Suan liao", and closed the door. I winded down the car window, and looked at her. Once again, she asked "What?" Fine.

3. I said "Suan liao, suan liao! I go back now!" And looked forward. She turned around, and walked away... but then, suddenly, she turned back at me (which I turned and look at her at the same time). "WHAT?!" This... is weird. "How did you know that I'm looking at you??? Owo" She didn't speak regarding that, but then... "I know what you want..." LOLWHUT?!

"...you knew what I want and yet you didn't give me..." I mumbled.

Then she walked away AGAIN.

OAO!!!

"WEIIII!!!" Yes, I literally yelled/screamed.

And that got her attention and rushed nearer to me.

"Hey, you will disturb the neighbours!"

I didn't say a thing, and I just looked at her.

...

...

...

*CHU~<3*

"Xiao hai zi."

"Heheheh~~~ <3"

"Ni hen nan man zhu eh... = ="

"89"

"Hao la, bu yao zai mi lu la! Bu ran mong xie ren jiu hui da xiao 3 sheng la!"

"Hai haiii~ <3"

Yeap, this time, I grinned from ear to ear when I get back.

And I DID NOT get lost.

Though I NEARLY get lost... LMAO. =w=

So I get back...

It's around 9 only. Yay~ =v=

Finally...

But if it wasn't because of the rain and everything,

I should've gotten back in 15 minutes... sigh.

Oh well. PX

At least I've gotten a kiss...

ME IS HAPPEH!!! 8DDDDDDDDDDD

The pink glass trouble really worth it. <3

===========Borderline==========

Got back.

Saw myself tagged by her SEVEN times in FB?! OAo?!

And she actually stated that I asked for a kiss... my god?!

Wow, she's so brave to embarrass me in public... =w=

I'm surprised... haha.

Then... I tagged back her for once...

And...

I saw...

HER NAME CHANGED?! OAo?!?!?!

OHSHOOT...

I... That means I need to remake the cover...

Shitshitshitshitshit...

*Took out the bullets*

*Start to recreate the cover*

*Attempt one...

Attempt two...

Attempt three.......*

.......the old one looks nicer... =w=

*Attempt to staple back the thing...

...Attempt infinity...........*

Oshoot. I messed up.

The thing is... FUNGLY. =A=!!!

Gomen nasai, waifu...

Gomen nasai...... TwT

I should have asked you first...

I shouldn't have taken the bullet out...

*CRIES*

(Yes, I nearly cried in the middle of the night for this thing...

I mean, I've been working on it for... so DAMN long...

AND YOU TELL ME IT TURNED INTO THIS...

Ugh...

And I don't have the patience to remake it...

Akira Rei. You FAIL.

I've stated in the other post but I will state it again.

Akira Rei. You FAAAAAAAAAAAIL.)

Haiz....... This is call what?

Le Ji Sheng Bei. =w=

Akira Rei. Shippai shita.

But if I can see the smile on her face...

I shall attempt to recreate the thing AGAIN!!!

OHHHHHHHHHH!!! DDDD<