Insert: ?!
Alright guys let's sort this out shall we?
What transpired me to fucking write that shit 6 fucking years ago?
Do I really feel that kind of responsibility 6 fucking years ago?
Was I the same 6 fucking years ago?
Holyshit.
Oh god.
I'm scared.
I'm so scared.
I'm so scared that this ain't real and I'm gonna hurt another soul.
My treasure.
I can't.
I can't hurt her oh god no. I can't.
I really hope my feelings aren't fake like that one.
Alright fine, maybe both are real, alright? They're both real in the start. I treat them both the same, like princesses.
= = = = = = = = = =
为什么我选择了在最高兴的时候去看那些Blog Posts?
现在我的心情跌入了低谷。
不行，一定要去面对。
这也是她将来要面对的事情。
恩，加油。看完它们吧。
= = = = = = = = = =
很痛苦。看到了以前曾经如此地开心，我很痛苦。
我的感情是真的吗？假的吗?
很怕。很怕。真的很怕。
如果伤害了我的宝物，怎么办？
是我自己伤害了我的宝物的话，怎么办？
很怕。
过去的我有一个执著，就是想要维持一个恋情。
现在呢？现在何况不是一样？
很怕。
很怕。
很怕。
很怕。
很怕。
Shit.
Shit.
想哭了。
为什么我这样？
为什么？
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
看下去。看下去。加油。
至少可以给她一个交代。
加油。
= = = = = = = = = =
心疼还是可怜？
心疼还是把她当成一个角色去把自己放进去？
你也知道自己是一个很容易融入进角色的世界里。
这个是不是也一样？
= = = = = = = = = =
终于读完了。恩，接受了。
不再爱她的原因，明白了。
爱上豆浆，也明白了。
不爱豆浆，现在明白了。
豹是我第一场恋爱，轰轰烈烈？
豆是我最久的爱，也是轰轰烈烈？
宝物呢？
我需要思考。
她现在病着，不能打扰。
我对每个人都一样关心。
我对每个人都一样付出。
BN1 BN2 都一样，但是没有动心。
是不是因为他们是绝对没有可能的？
那么，宝物呢？
恩。
恩。
恩。
我怕，是因为我怕伤害了她。
伤害我自己现在来看倒是无所谓。
恩，又要开始宠了吗？
恩。
恩。
恩。
睡觉吧，明天再想。
顺便。。。
= = = = = = = = = =
其实，我现在有朋友了。
他们会给好的意见。
没问题的。不一样的。
Daijoubu.
= = = = = = = = = =
记得以前很多东西都是写给豹看的，而不是自己真正想写的。
That's why suddenly in the middle of a lot of months, there are no details at all.
No details.
I'm a bit curious on what changed...
Was it because of the outing with her friends?
Was it because of that incident that made me changed my mind about her as a person?
I think so.
I think that's what makes the entire deal broke off.
All my promises? Broke off.
Because of this I don't dare to promise anybody right now. I'm too scared that my worthless promises will make their hopes go very high and shit.
I hope my treasure understands this and doesn't expects too much from me holyshit.
I mean, we do have the same fear for a lot of things... that's why we're willing to put everything up on the table and talk about it rather than keeping everything in our heart.
I will tell her about this, but not now. Not when she needs the rest than other things.
Sigh.
I really want to tell her. I really want to discuss. I really... want to... love her normally.
I'm really scared.
Sigh.
Why am I like this? orz
= = = = = = = = = =
It's been one month since I have so many fears about this relationship... but I have to assure you, the past me, that everything's going better than you thought. You told your treasure about your concerns, both of you worried about the same things, and both of you kind of sort it out.
And hey, both of you love each other more than ever. I can assure you that both of you love each other more than you can think of, and it's getting stronger each day and night that passes. You still talked to her even until today. It's alright, past me. Everything's fine now.
The only fear that you have to fear is probably money and family now =v=)/
So yeah. Case closed. <3
