Insert: My 5-Star Playlist of Greatness <3
Omedetou to myself 8'DDD
I dunno why I decided to write something here today buuuuuuuut here I am XD
Well, I have no ideas what to write here...
Or rather, how to really start...
Well.
Many, many things have happened.
I laughed. I cried. I'm hurt. I'd hurt. I rose. I fallen.
I...
Suddenly that one big obstacle just disappeared in my life and I don't really know what to do next.
People told me that I should rest, but what should I do while I'm resting?
How long should I rest?
I have been resting, and it's been quite a long while.
Well, at least, right now, I'm able to play, to have fun, and to enjoy my life and catch up with whatever that I couldn't before... which is a lie, 'cause, I CAN always enjoy them and do what I want to do at the same time. I procrastinated - even my own enjoyment. It was funny, even until now. It's not like I don't have the time, it's more like, I don't feel like doing it.
But one thing that I really want to do, and I didn't got the time to do, was to listen to songs.
New and old.
Good and bads... actually the bads can go one side but, I always have this thing about "potential songs" and how to make them better.
Hmm.
Maybe I can try rearranging them? 0w0
Yeah. I could add that to my list of things that I want to do. Kek.
= = =
Aside from that, what else I want to do?
A lot, actually, that it peaks at 11 major things that I wanna do - that I've been wanting to do.
Funny thing is, I don't know how to feel about gaming anymore.
Sure, leveling up my Disgaea characters have been a thing... but after 2 hours of doing the same thing? Nah. =v=
What about Dragon Nest? I shrugs, because I don't really feel like looking at the lagging screen and fighting... the same bosses. I can read up their plots in wikias too so... doesn't really matter to me anymore, about everything. One thing that I used to take enjoyment was about earning money. When it's NOT about earning money, I'm not quite sure what I really want to do in Dragon Nest. Quite odd, this is. :/
What about the rest of the games that I left behind? That I didn't get to finish them? Well, Mass Effect 2... I'm actually stuck at one of that super difficult mission that I just went and "nah, not gonna do this =v=;;;" I mean, I'm too tired to continue that, tho I want to finish that and move onto ME3 OTL|||
I'm still waiting for Legacy of the Void to come out tho. And Dungeon Keeper THE NEW VERSION which I forgot its name OTL||| I've always loved strategy games, and it's been quite challenging sometimes. Hahahahahahahaahah whatamIdoingwithmylife. OTL||| I can strategy here but I don't like strategy-ing in real life @w@
What other games? RPGs take too much of my time to level up so I actually don't prefer them anymore... =v= I mean, graphics, sounds, etc. are nice and all but, I prefer to "play games" that are more "free"... like, whatever you can do with RPing, y'know? That's another kind of "game" for me but... I can't really continue with my community anymore *sigh* I just hoped that I can get another free place to start everything over and shit. =v=;;;
Oh well. OTL|||
MaybeIshouldgoback.
= = =
Gamings aside, I've been wanting to draw 0v0
But. My inspirations are hitting the ground and I have no idea where to start with OTL|||
Then I wanted to write as well.
Maybe I should restart my "Kagura" Project (yes, it's now an independent series 'cause I think using DMC as its title name is kind of weird... don'tcha think? =v=;;;)
And all the other one-shots about Yuri and stuffs... hmmm. But not much things came out from this brain for now. It wants to make music more than anything else *sigh*
I mean, sure, making music is great but, I want to go back to my previous hobbies and not just revolve around making music...
OR I can start making music until I'm bored with it THEN I can go back to my previous hobbies 8D
Yeah. That should do it. <3
Lemme just start rearranging all those bad shits MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *shot*
Ohandcoveringsongsweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 8'D
= = =
Exercising is a must. I need to diet and I need to stamina-gain. D<
I can't let everything to stay as it is OTL|||
Gotta go to those Idol things and score 'em =w=)b *shotshotshot* (where this confidence came from oi =A=;;;)
Also.
I want to get a girlfriend.
Goddammit I WANT A GIRLFRIEND D<
WHY THAT WOMAN HAS ONE AND I DON'T HAVE ANY.
Am I unattractive? *sigh*
I swear I have good looks oi :/
Am I being too confident about myself then? 8'D
Oh well.
In any ways, I need a new romance so that I can forget all those bad ones.
That I felt guilty about, that I felt miserable about. *sigh*
Gimme my chance oi. =A=
I'm not a bad person, I deserve at least something oi. =A=;;;
*sigh*
= = =
I couldn't forget all those things that I've done.
I couldn't forget all those emotions that I felt.
I couldn't forget all of those people's faces.
Seeing them being happy and I'm not distorts my heart as well.
Like, wtf?
I'm a better person than they are but I don't get this?
Then again...
I'm not.
I'm... a very pathetic person. =v=
Meh.
I don't deserve love probably OTL|||
Still, I'm quite envious of their relationships.
And when I think of my own, it does nothing but leaving me a battered heart and soul.
For years, and perhaps years to come...
Have nobody attempted to get to know the real me?
To get close to me?
Really?
Am I that bad a character?
Did I push them away unconsciously???
Or was it because of this particular woman that I'm still having feelings of?
That everybody just sort of thought that we're together?
WE'RE NOT DAMMIT.
SO HELP ME GET RID OF THIS FEELING ALREADY. D<
Goddammit OTL|||
= = =
And so, my life after graduation have just begun =v=
I hope that my future is gonna be brighter and I can find some lights...
Lights...
Hmmm.
Where?
Hopefully I can still go to Japan - not as a traveler, but as a student... as a worker...
I didn't forget the noble quest of mine - to learn, and to teach.
But can I do that?
Hmmmmmmm.
I need to get a teaching cert too. Meh :/
Ohwell. <w< >w>
