31st March of 2011

Insert: The Man With The Machine Gun - Orchestral Version [FFVIII Fighting BGM]
(PS: Also one of my favorite song ^w^)
===
NOTE: I know everything doesn't make sense, but this blog entry is out of honesty. If you cannot take on the sarcasm, don't read.

===

Ahhh... 31st of March.
It should be the best day for me, but I don't know, I just never feel happy with today AT ALL.
Though it's supposed to be the special day for me.
Or for everyone who's born today.

Yeap, today's my birthday.
Big deal. *rolls eyes*
Already expected that no one would celebrate it anyway.
And no surprises will be done today, yeap.
Since... well, I'm already used with surprises... kinda.
Life's full with surprises anyway.

But today of this year, is kinda different from other days.
Sitting in front of my monitor, my favorite artist drew a very handsome Ritsu!
Wow, it's like, the first birthday present, and it certainly made my day somehow better.
Went downstairs, I had good breakfast along with some good TV shows:
CSI: Miami and K-On the 24th episode.
They're like, my favorites. *insert heart sign here*

After that, I sit in front of my computer...
Wow, 20 notifs all wishing my birthday =A=
The heck?
O...kay.
And so, I started to reply one by one...
And the first one I noticed, was, well, someone's.

You said that you can't celebrate with me.
Well, I think I should answer you back:
I don't need you to celebrate with me. After all, I'm just a mere customer.
But of course, I didn't say that.
Though all the way, I'm very sarcastic.
Heh, how unusual. Yeah right. *rollseyes*
But... yeah, I really didn't expect anyone to celebrate with me, so... *shrugs*

===

After reading these stuffs (and half of the new mangas), I decided to go.
Called Kou, and yes, we shall go.
Purposely told him that if he's late by FIVE minutes, I shall cut the whole day off.
And I shall go to my choir practice. Yeap, it's better that way.
Somehow, oddly, he's very punctual today.
Thank god?

We went to Giant, park the car, get my exam token, and makan McD.
Then went back to UCSI, look at MacBook prices (DAMN I FORGOT TO TELL MY DAD!)...
And we parted ways.

I went to classroom...
Wow.
People are partly-yelling a "happy birthday" to me. Owo
To be honest, I'm kinda... shocked.
Because, to be exact, no one did something like this before.
Guess it's good to have few students in one class, eh?
As they will remember your birthday.
Or it's because it's the beside the day of the popular dude: Jack Lim?
Either way, I'm shocked, but I'm not extremely happy, obviously.

Well, it's obvious they remembered it because of some other people's birthday is just beside mine.
And there's no more surprises anyway. *shrugs*
Already know that. Yeah.
^ My negative thoughts, indeed. And sarcastic.

Anyway, after greeting me, no more people tend to care about my existence anymore.
Well, it's obvious right?
Assignments are of course more important.
I did that to birthday boys and girls too.
Not that it's not important, it's just that it has nothing to do with me.
So, yeah. *smirks*

Checked my assignments.
Nice job Akira Rei.
You screwed you badly. =w=
Where's your OWN group's assignment?
Where did you put it? *growls*
Haiz... bad habit of having a short term memory loss. *growls again*
Must be that Ghost Tower theme song... I hate you Pokemon Blue =A= *growls again and again*

Anyway...

Wow, pop quiz.
Dr. Christine Tan, you sure are giving me a great present...
But luckily the questions (though I didn't study?! Owo) are kind easy for me.
Only one part. Heh.
Big deal. It's only like, 0.5 - 2 marks for the total marks.
So... yeah, big deal. *rollseyes*

I'm suuuure is sarcastic today.

===

Finished the quiz (somehow less than 30 minutes???), I went and call Kou.
Damn you Kou.
I told you NOT to go Star, yet you go. *rolls eyes*
Next time I shall ditch you and go away...
...planned to if you're not showing up.
But oddly you're so fast and punctual today.
Hmm... Forgive you.

And so, we went to Time's Square.

In Sungai wang...
Tried loads of sweets for FREE 8DDDD
Guess what I did? Nyahahahaha~~~ >P

Went for Greenbox to check prices.
Wah, RM20, for 3 - 4 hours.
I think okay de, but stupid Koukoubeer didn't bring his student ID. =A=
Once again, I hate you.

And so, we ditched the plan for singing k.
We went back to Times Square.
During the journey, there's a... suspicious phone call.
Well, he told me it's a college thing.
Okay, I accept it.

But...
It doesn't make sense, that Kou ask me to find a place to eat while it's just... 4.30p.m.
Not even my USUAL dinner time =A=
And I'm still SOOOO damn full from the McD. =w=
Seeeriously Kou, seriously. =A=
What the HECK???

Anyway, once we sat in Kim Gary, he said that he wants to go toilet.
Uhuuuh.
Okay, pergilah.
I shall wait here.

Wait... wait... wait...
Why is he SO slow?
I thought guys are supposed to be faster than gals?
My eyes are looking at the... vast menu that every single Chinese restaurant have.
Then a sudden thought of people barging in and give me a surprise came into my mind.

......nonono. That's not going to happen.
It's just a mere coincidence. You know, coincidence.
Maybe he had something to do.
So, yeah.
^ Once again, negative thoughts kicks in.

My mind adverted from the scene back to the VAST menu.
And then, I was thinking what is the drink "热带雨林".
SUDDENLY the song 热带雨林 by S.H.E. was played in the restaurant.
The heck? =A=
And then, along with OTHER emo songs.
Oh, and a message from someone... I forgot who, greeting my birthday.
So, I checked the phone.
Damn, I must be looking so emo right now.
Well, can't help, I've absorbed the emo-ness of the songs.

So, Kou came back.
Oh, finally he's back.
Yay.
Now we shall order and eat---

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" <--- Reina + Qiqi

"WOAH!!!!!!" <--- Me

+ A Cake.





WOW.


Yay, a blank space, wee heeeeee~~~ 8DDDDD


Seriously.





WOOOOOW.





And suddenly, birthday song.

Yay?

Yeah, I can't say that I'm unhappy by the sudden change of event.
And I'm happy that my intuition actually WORKS.
But...



I'm finding some certain shadow that I hoped to appear.



Heh, now I finally understood what is that post all about.



Disappointed, yes.
Though I'm kinda relieved that you're not here.
At least you would cut off the false hopes that will appear in my heart.

Thanks for killing my hopes.
I love you soooo much.
So stop appearing in front of me.
kthxbye. <--- damn I love this phrase.
^ once again, sarcasm. How many times already?

===

*cough* Anyway, that's not the main point.
It's like, Kou brought SOMEONE with him!!!
I just can't believe my negative thoughts are wrong during this point.

Woooooow.
I'm so happy about myself.
Mmhmm.
Yeah right.
It doesn't happened all the time.
And they would get bored of this and set their attention on somewhere else again anyway.
*rollseyes*
^ Sarcasm.


We makan, and we chatted.
It's like, one of the best time in my life.
And suddenly, some certain princess trait of "wagamama" appeared into me.
Though I'm also surprised of the sudden want of paying my foods,
But somehow, I just won't reject it.
It's like "Well, it's their way for celebrating my birthday, so... yeah."
Another meaning of "Resistance is futile."
Therefore, I was in NO ACTION of rejected their attempt of paying the foods.
However, it's kinda weird towards me since... well, I'm always the one paying.
So when other people's paying for it, it's just... weird. =w=

Oh well.
It's their only chance to pay off anyway.
No point in getting in their way.
And I've already been paying for theirs for so many times.
Big deal. *rollseyes*
^ Sarcasm...??? Owo

After makan, we go find a headphone.
Since I'm not Michelle Phan, I shan't talk too much in our miserable journey of getting it.
Anyway, at the end after going for 3 different shops, I finally found one.
Not that it suits me, but it's cheap and... well, it fits my requirement.
Though compare to the plug-into-your-ears-type of headphone, this is certainly softer in volume.
Oh well, as long as it's good.
But I don't like the fact that it pressed towards my glasses. =<
Sadcase.

Well, what do you expect from a RM20 headphone?
You shan't compare it with a RM600+ headphone that's ABSOLUTELY fitted to my requirements:
1. Able to turn-turn-turn the ear-part.
2. Big enough to cover my ears.
3. Comfy.
Stylish is definitely an exchange for the comfy part... Wow.

RM600+ can give you comfort, RM20 gives you stylish.
Which one do you prefer?
Hmm, I don't know, I would buy the RM600+ one if I had the money.
But for time being, RM20 shall do.
Yeap.

It's going to break anytime anyway. *shrugs*
^ Sarcasm, again. =A=

After headphone, we have Baskin Robins.
Along with the cake.
Turns out, it's a tiramisu...

Coffee taste.

How can Kou NOT know that I dislike coffee?
Seriously, what kind of friend is this?
Lei dok sii pin gah? =A=
Sau deh lah!
Mm hou lau ma niu ah!!!

*e-hem* Anyway...
We chat and chat... and chat...
Until 9 something 10.
Baru we mau pergi.

Wow.

So, we pergi.
And originally we decided to give an April Fool surprise towards Reina.
Saying that I'm in a car accident or something.
Well, concerning the fact that it might upset her too much, we scrapped the idea off.

Yeah, it's not good to make people worry too much about yourself, so...

But I can't believe sii yan Koukoubeeeeeh actually fooled me. =A=
Saying that he will have a karaoke session AFTER 12.
And someone is paying for him.
I'm so stupid to fall into his tricks. *smacks head*
In the PAST 24 hours, he's been fooling be and conceiving me.

1. Trying so hard to make me ditch my choir practice.
2. Trying so hard to get me into Times Square instead of... well, some other place. (Shut up, Kou.)
3. Trying so hard to get me into a restaurant to SIT STILL so that his plan works.

Nice job, ACTRESS.
Love your skills, seriously.
You want a kiss? No. You want a hug? Definitely.
You seriously deserved it.

===

Lastly, thanks for everything you guys. I shall list whoever I remembered to thank.

1. Melissa (UCSI)
2. Carmen (UCSI)
3. Others in UCSI
4. Reina Chengchengchengchengchengchengchengcheng
5. Qiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqi*inhales*qiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqi
6. Erm... Who else ah? Uhhh... What's that girl's name again? Oh yeah.

!!!UON KOU!!!
！！！雨音　光！！！
!!!WWF!!!

Thanks for the MAFAN OH-DAH AH!!!

Zan hai mang guai fan.

No more next time.

Hmph.

Baka.

Of Broken Promises and Agitation

Insert: Aozora no Namida [OP of Blood+, sang by Takahashi Hitomi]

Once again, in such a short time, I have experienced things and is eager to write them out.

===

I can't believe a promise is so easy to be broken.
I'm not sure if I have broken any promise towards my family, but I sure broken a lot towards my own self.

Promises that friends pact with me?

Oh, they have been broken from times to times.
They should have known about that themselves.
But did they? Of course not.

They thought that I will forgive them, even without apologizing.

But I must tell you one thing:
Obviously, I have never kicked anyone out of my car for being late or whatsoever.
And obviously I did not yell at them for being as late as this hour.
Because I've known that it will happen.

That doesn't mean that I'm happy with it though.

This unhappiness is growing within me, and it's slowly erupting.
I'm sure that dude that experienced my odd behavior that very day should be able to detect it.
The sudden spinning of car and sudden brakes.
But of course, I did not intend to hurt my lil' MyVi over here.
Since hurting it shall cost a lot of money, and that's not fun.

Though the fun part, was to scare people, and self-thrill.
And I can't deny I have a great excitement in experiencing the silence and the thrill this dangerous movement is bringing me.
I can't even say that I'm mentally normal anymore.
Since I'm not really afraid of death any longer.

Even by suicidal.

Who knows, maybe someday, I really will carry someone with me and bring them to hell.
Of course, if they die.
If they don't, bless them, but they shall be in guilt for more than ever.
Because I will certainly haunt them after my death.
However, if they can change, I don't mind leaving them after seeing some positive results.
After all, my grudges towards them is that they never even tried to change into what's the best.

But of course, the promise that was broken and had a very big impact towards me, is because the very one that broke a promise with me, is something that I never expected it to happen.
And worse still, it seemed that destiny had set on to block me away from contacting this very important figure that was supposed to help me out.

Ah well, it's not important to her anyway.

After all, this is my OWN project.
She's just doing me a favor.
Nothing else.

And to her, I'm just a customer, nothing else.
That's why our path shall never cross.
Fate decided.

The end of the story.

===

Still in the subject that I'm agitated, I'm agitated about some other stuffs as well.

I must say out honestly and proudly that I hereby HATED a certain maid cafe in around this area that I lived in (within 2 hours of car journey).

No, I don't hate the concept at all, it's the boss and the customers that I hated at.

Of course, when this concept is out, it's without doubt that the customers would be otaku and perverts, but that's the main reason why I hated about it.
And secondly, is the fact that the boss of this certain maid cafe has completely ZERO knowledge of what should HE suppose to do.
He's just sitting there and let the maids do every single thing.
Of course, maids were supposed to do every single thing, but guess what?
The boss just SIT there with his mouth SHUT without saying a single word on HOW should they do their jobs - literally, the maids must think on their own on how to keep this shop alive.
Hey, wasn't HE the BOSS here?
Worse still, the time table of the maids is obviously not organized and there's no such thing as break in between their jobs.
By the way, the time ranges from 10 until 10.
Morning until night.
And sometimes, over time.
You think you can handle this job without foods and drinks?
I shall speak for myself that this is nothing but:

"Bull Shit."

This fucking man is not a good example of a leader AT ALL.
Obviously he's just another pervert that wants to see girls in maid uniforms, and he opened this shop so that he can see it 24/7.
He didn't even cared about the welfare of the girls, but only care about how the shop will go-
Oh sorry, he didn't even care how the shop will go, it's only how the service will go.
Foods and drinks meant nothing towards him.
Maids are the best.

The paid is high, though.

But personally, I think it's another fucking Bull Shit.

And on the subject of otaku, I really wonder if every single otaku in the world is seriously perverts?
True, none of us are human without a single feel of perversion.
Especially true man.
But some times, it seriously disgusted the heck of me out of their perversion.
Can't they just keep it to themselves?
I mean, it's so OBVIOUS that nearly everyone could sense it.
Their perversion level equals to those pervert uncles that kidnaps young girl and rape them.

Ugh, whatever.

I'm just very sad that in my little otaku circle, there's just so few male otaku that only appreciate the anime in sense of plotline and characteristic, and obviously, the art. Instead, they focus on girls, bodies, especially BOOBS, if I must say.

*rollseyes* Whatever.

This is one of the main reason I'm slowly backing off from this odd circle.
Ah, damn, I can't believe I said that this kind of circle is odd, because I once believed in it.
I mean the real life otaku circle, not the anime/games/manga in general.

Because I still love and appreciate all sorts of anime, games, and mangas.
As long as they're good, and their art is really balanced and harmonized, of course.

===

The only day that I went and feel much comfortable, is when the maids were not wearing their costumes and were cosplaying as other characters.
Still, I dislike the fact that the guys that came in were always looking at the maids as if they're stripping them off.
My friend and I were just there for eating, and so we didn't look at the maid, but those idiots.

And with how their boss are treating them, I still can't believe they're able to work there.
If it's because of the money, I seriously have nothing to comment about.
Though I probably will shout out, "Does it really worth your health and safety?"

Those maids were some of my friends too, and therefore I care for it.
But if they were insisted to continue, I'm in no standing to tell them to back off.
After all, their choices are not mine.
And whatever the result is, it's their own responsibility to carry.

I won't cry for them.

For they did not listen for the moment that I've already spoke out towards them.

===

Right now, I shall focus in the music circle for a while.
Since I do learn more stuffs from here than any other places.
Especially not with non-music-students.
Who knows nearly nothing concerning good sounds at all.

I'm not saying that I know a lot, but I'm learning them.
And that's the reason why I need to stay away from those that doesn't know.
Just to keep myself to not be influenced by them.
Especially my mom, yes.

And I need to take care of my throat... damn.

===

At least I've already finished my initial... draft, perhaps? Of my 3 compositions that I'm supposed to hand in for re-audition. Many thanks to Miss Lina who helped me out (and inspired me even further!) to test the pieces out, especially for "Roadside", since it's the only one in lead-sheet form and is the one that I have the least faith on. But after listening Miss Lina's demonstration on the piece, I realized how much potential that this piece could be.

Once again, THANK YOU MISS LINA!!!

And so, I shall prepare for my description on how to play these pieces... and it'll be another headache in trying to make my words clear. *sigh*

Of impatience and Game of Reality

Insert Song: Fed Up [by Nakashima Mika]

The first time in March that I write a blog... if I'm correct.

What on earth to write? Honestly, I don't know.

Well, every time I have something it's always about my daily ramblings.

But that's how everyone types their blogs, no?

It's always about how you feel.

And normally how I feel these days, is that there's a lot of annoy and frustrations going on here and there.

Happiness stays the same like it's always been, since they don't increase neither does they decrease.

Still, it's pretty annoying when it comes to things that I remembered, are nothing happy but angers.

Thoughts of wicked revenge are in my mind, where normally I didn't have it this vivid, at least not towards close friends.

Perhaps it's because I feel more and more unsafe to trust them any longer.

And of course, I'm in no worries to let them know the fact of what I truly feel.

But seriously, dealing with me is a very easy thing.

If you cooperate with me, I shall cooperate with you.

If you don't cooperate with me, then there's no point for me to cooperate with you.

If you're late, then I shall be late, although that never happened to me until this point of my life.

If you want to do it during the last minute, sure, no problem, then I shall do the same and you shan't expect much from me. Though the disappointment that I had gathered from you are more than I expected it to be.

And these disappointment had driven me mad, torn between whether I should just screw this damn thing at all, much care less about the result. I mean, the result of this thing wasn't only mine, it's yours too. I have the power to whether hand this in or rip it off. Apparently the believe of my own trust and my pride did not let this to happen. However, the idea has formed. I might not do it now, but if it happened the second time, I shall let it happen.

Revenge is bitter, but sweet, like a dark chocolate.

Your suffering might not be good to anyone at all, but that is to teach you a lesson, for not cooperating with my instructions. I said this, and you should just listen and do it, because I said it for the best of everyone. But you're the one that's letting me down. First time, and the last time. And if you who had failed me thousands of time, this is the last time that I'm going to tolerate you. Anything happens, you're on your own.

And I never should have trusted you.

Never.

===

This scar that's carved deep in my heart is also why I chose solo over group works, alone than being with friends. Perhaps the next time of any kind of events, I shall go solo, or nothing at all. Hell, perhaps I shall scrap the whole thing at all. After all, decisions are all in my hand. No one shall be able to interfere, since you're not my whoever. And no, my mom can't decide on me as well.

It's not like I don't have the power or the actual cunningness to deal with the kinds of you, it's whether if you worth of my time for troubling at you. Of course, no one had that great impact on me, not yet. But it's certainly building and my impatience is on it's limit. Soon, I'm going to explode, and whoever that's around me shall beware of this odd time bomb that's always in a weird fuse.

I have yet to yell at anyone during this point, but it's without doubt that my true violence nature is slowly leaking out. Of course, the older friends of mine have already known of my temper, but that's not the end of it. It seemed to evolved into a new kind of temper as it faces much different situation and people. Perhaps this new temper would be a good change, for appearances, or a bad change, for one's self. Since this temper, maybe, will descend into a volcano that you would never know when it'll explode. It will grumble, oh sure it will, but it has yet to explode.

The more disappointments that I received, the shorter the time for it to explode.

===

Being alone, for like, one year? Had really make me thought of a lot of things.

Surely, if there's a healing point beside you, it's always better. But you can always find a healing orb somewhere else, especially if you found a treasure box or defeat some monsters. Everything in the world are nothing but temporary views. You might have a healing point beside you, but you never know when it'll dry up. and who knows if that healing point is containing some sort of virus or poison, that instead of healing you up, it's going to attack you with various status effects? So find other sources to your HP. Don't just wait for it to come, it wouldn't heal you through time. Of course, if you have items that could heal you through times, it's always the best, but it wouldn't save you during boss fights.

Don't understand my terms of RPG in real life? Well, rethink again. They're actually much related despite parents always said that games are useless. Actually, no. When you come to think about it, games are very much related to real life. People can even relate DoTA with getting a girl (or a guy), which I do not understand how on earth did that person thought something as creative as this.

===

And so, with all the healing jars and monsters to beat with, I do not feel sad with the lack of healing point beside me. Oh, always save your game until one point, by the way, or you will lose some of your things when you're defeated by a monster. But the game of reality is different somehow. Once you really died, you died. Not even a saving point can revive you, and you definitely won't be able to repeat your life. You can always defeat the monster again and again when you're defeated, but if you died against the boss, you will die forever, and your saving shall be deleted.

Though, if you're very high in level and your fame is high, and have a great map to a treasure box, you shall be remembered by the rest of the warriors in the world, who continue your adventure. If you plan to be such a great man to be able to be remembered, live your best and do a lot of deeds, increase your fame, and defeat a lot of monsters. And of course, set your course correctly, mark your map, and when you died, people will still be able to solve the unsolved puzzle that you left behind.

===

I am suuuure bored to be able to type this nonsense in my blog. Oh well...