Compilation of Feelings

Insert: Card Captor Sakura soundtracks...

「　過去の事　」

うんんんんん。。。
もし、その時のあたしがそう言うのもんが知ってるなら。。。
やっぱり。。。放棄しないよなああ。。。

でも、あんたが「幸せ」に感じてって。。。
それもう十分だ。
あたしは失敗の恋人じゃねえんで。。

はは。

と。。。そん何の事を聞いたんで。。。
やっぱり、嬉しい？PX



我真的希望你可以回去关丹。
回去见见你的旧朋友。=3
至少，他们是不会伤害你的。

找回那时候的你吧。

Take a rest before you restart your strive in this modern world.
Purify the you that had been corrupted.
Who knows what will happen?

Perhaps people would accept you more than ever. ^w^

At least, you won't be hurting those that cared about you that much anymore.

Oh, and please... PLEEEAAASE...
Get rid of that idiot........ boy. (I can't put him in the "male" category.
And don't hang out too much with those at GK.

Come back and find us more often... now that you have a car. PX
Have some CHE GAI time with us. 8DDDDDD
And have a break have a Kit-Kat with us. =3

「　现在的事　」

Today you came, and ate lunch with me.
I'm sorry for being so sleepy, because... well, I REALLY am tired.
And... yeah, you did nothing much to make me energetic, so... *shrugs*
Can't blame me for this.



我没说追随过去是坏事，
毕竟他曾经也是你的好友吧，
偶尔找一找他是可以的。
但是。。。
最好小心别掉回去了。

虽然你从没走过出来。*sigh*



讨厌你？
可能吧。
谁叫你让我跌下去？
还满深的？
嘛啊啊啊啊。。。
但是，我没有可能会恨你。



我不知道我对你好好解释了没有。。。
阿不过，我想澄清一件事：
我从来没有把你当作代替品哦~
我打从一开始都是。。。
爱着你？
嗯，应该是。

阿不过，如果是爱的话，还真得很短呢。。。。。。。 （悲伤的时间）
还是我长大了？？？

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Whatever.



某人在我打算和你“脱离关系”时问了一个很好的问题：
“怎么要这样做？你不是喜欢她吗？”
“就是因为喜欢，我才要这样做。”

喜欢这一个不喜欢自己的人，绑着他没用吧？
而且，那个所谓的“关系”也只不过是你为了逃避某人才这样做的吧。
现在他都不缠着你了，它的用意一早都结束了吧。

当然，让我真正会有着一种想法的，是因为朋友们的关系吧。
“既然你们两个不在一起，为何要放这个？”
“几时解除啊。。。看你几时放得下咯。”

放下。。。我放下了吗？
嗯，可能吧。
至少，是多亏你那一句话让我快点放得下的吧。

就算不是现在，迟早也能够。

[ Tsumetai no Kokoro ]

Thanks to the both of you, I finally am able to finish the second part of this song.

And... Hmm... What should I say...
I guess, I must say that I really had fun with you people.
During... that... 2 weeks?
(Yeah, the last I count, the exact time of fun is more or less 2 weeks... I guess.)

うん！すううううごく幸せだよ！

But, all fun stuffs always ended quickly.

Anyway, this is written in 28th June.

My feelings might differ from that time compare to now.

I just feel like putting it up. =v=

Tsumetai no Kokoro, very sadly, is not complete yet OTL|||

Oh well, just go and enjoy my words for now.

Smile ^w^

Insert: Smile [by Avril Lavigne]

Yesterday Sunday,

A very typical Sunday?

No.

That's why I'm typing this out anyway. =3

===

[ Morning ]

7a.m....

Plans for today:

Choir at 1p.m.

Meet Yuki at night for a dinner + yukata.

So I wake up so early for what? I don't know.

But I can't sleep back, so just wake up.

Walk down the stairs, make my breakfast.

Saw my dad lying on the sofa.

Uhuhhhh...

I asked him, he said he's waiting for people to come and fetch him to makan Bak Kut Teh.

Ooooookaaaaaayyyy...???

I went back into the kitchen, wash wash wash, then I hear him cough.

Pour a drink for him, and let him drink.

Wah, he seemed to be "obedient" today...

He's actually drinking water.

Hmmm...

The uncle came, and my dad's out.

Okay, out you go. Byebye.

Neeext: Continue washing + FB.

Walao, tak boleh tahan, sleepy.

Okay, I sleep.

At... 9 or 10 something?

Then my dad called me to open the gate for him.

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh...

I DID recall that he DID brought his keys with him...

Nevermind that.

I opened the door, and then I saw him weakly came in.

THE HECK DAD?!

YOU'RE SICK AND YOU STILL GO MAKAN BAK KUT TEH?!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF------

-shakes head-

Worse thing, later I have choir... -sigh-

Dim xun? -shakes head shakes head-

So, I told my sis and my bro.

At first, they're like:

"Har? Later I need to go out worrr..."

"Mmm, tell dad that if he needs someone call me lar."

=w=

The heck la you people.

Fine...

I go out choir at 12 something (I think),

Then... I won't tell you about the details,

It's pretty stupid, for me,

And I missed SyncTone. ;3;

-cough- Anyway, not the main point...

I FLYYYYY back home,

Use the shortest time to reach home from UCSI:

5 MINUTES.

WOAW.

I reach home, I thought no one at home.

Mana tau...

"Uik, my bro's here?"

Then I open door.

"Wah, so YAN CAI gehhh??? Owo"

My sis, my bro, my sis-in-law, plus IvAn.

(IvAn, my nephew, not IvEn. 8D)

Phew...

Thanks to this, I'm less guilty for not being at my dad's side while he's sick. =v=

===

[ Nighttime ]

Called Yuki out...

Wow, how long have I NOT call her original name again?

It feels like... years. XD

Gomen na Yuki PX

We went to dinner at Wongkok,

Then we chatted...

A lot.

Seriously, I never thought that we can actually chat this smoothly...

After... I don't know, 2 months of "cold war"?

I mean, we didn't really spoke for 2 months... Hmmm...

And I was like "what topics should I talk with her... Hmmm..."

Never thought the things just come up so smoothly HAHA!

And oddly, she had the same thought as me LMAO! XDDDDDDD

So we chat chat chat... A lot of stuffs lar.

Then after dinner, Yuki drove me back...

But...

I'm like "I don't want so fast go back oh..."

"Oh, then you want call Reina out?"

"Uhhh... But, so late... I need to stay at home ohhh..."

"Like this arrr..."

"...........GO OUT LARH! I call Reina! 8DDD"

"OH OH OH OKAY!"

Then we go all the way from Midah to Kuchai Lama.

We baru notice one thing as soon as we took Reina up.

"AHHHH!!! KOU AHHHHHH!!! WO SHANG LE ZEI CHUANNN!!!"

"AHHHH~~~ KEONG GAN AHHH~~~ BONG GAH AHHHH~~~~~~~"

"LU DIAM DIAM MAI CHA LAR!!! KII XIAOOO!!!"

"......what the......... YOU ALL GO OUT YAMCHA NO CALL ME LARH?!"

"NI YAO LAI MA?!"

"YAO YAO YAO! LAI ZAI WO LAI ZAI WO!!!"

"OHHHHOKEHOKEHHH!!!"

So, from Kuchai Lama, we gooooo to LM area.

Throughout the whole journey... memang CHE GAI.

Especially that "Beautiful Butterfly" LAWL

All the while, we're yelling and screaming in the car...

And ZAT each other like MAAAADDDDDDD~~~

So long man, since last year Animangaki...

Reina said that this is the first time that she had seen this lively scene...

Maa, sore wa honto desu wa ne. PX

After getting Kou, the car is even more "livelier"...

Or should I say, CRAZIER.

Everyone was yelling, screaming, laughing, and shouting at each other.

So long... Too long... This kind of feeling had came back finally.

-sigh-

I feel so bad about myself in all of the sudden.

And all the people around me...

Well, I seemed to drag a lot of people around me down because of this so...

Minna, honto ni gomen nasai. -bows-

Meiwaku kakete gomen nasai. -bows-

Kizutsukeru tte gomen nasai. -bows-

Okay, CONTINUE WITH THE STUFFS!!!

In Mamak.

We order foods.

Then...

We start to GON BUI.

Starts with Kou: The four of us were together again! *gan bei*

Me can't think ATM, so it gives to Reina.

I forgot what was it....... whatever, it deserves a *GAN BEIII*

OH, then I remembered what to say:

I hope that the person on my left and the person in front of me can BREAK UP WITH THEIR BOYFRIEND ASAP!!!!!!

Reina: This, I GAN!

Kou: -NODSNODS- GAN!

Yuki: -nodsnods- Gan!

Me: GAN AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

LOLness.

But VERY epik.

Lovely taimu. PX

We CHE GAI--- I mean, chat chat YAMCHA FANTOI until 12?

And Yuki began to send one by one home.

Starts with Kou, then Reina... then me.

But somehow... there's a twist.

Since I suddenly asked her if she wants to stay over my house LOL

(As a joke in the beginning, manatau she really stayed over Owo)

So...

We get back to HER place, then took her stuffs...

I'm not gonna describe how's her place, you should go see it yourself... if you wanna. PX

Then back to my place...

And CHUI her to go bath so that I can sleep earlier.

(it's nearly 1 or over 1 when we finally got back)

I even helped her dry her hair LMAO!

Because I'm lazy to take the tilam out and I don't want her to wet my pillows... =v=

Lalalalala~~~

Hai, tsuzukeee~

We chat chat chat CHAT CHAT CHAAAATTTTT...

Sampai bila I pun taktau.

Because when we lie on the bed we still continue chatting like MAAAAADDD...

Though I DID get some sleep in the end LOLZ

===

Ah well, that's the end of the "fun day" yesterday.

It might be pretty lame for most of you people, but it's a great memory for me. =3

Yeah, like I said to her...

I gained too much from my family, which I don't feel happy at all.

So what I actually FELT the happiness from, is just some lil' things.

Be with someone I love, just holding hands...

Be with a bunch of people, just fooling around like madman...

Be alone and able to listen to good musics...

Just so simple, yet I feel happy.

You give me a BUNCH of $$ I also can't get as happy as this.

Seeeerioussss.

===

Okay, enough of this.

I'm gonna post up another one with only the feelings. PX

Because... Well, I might write a lot of stuffs LOLZZZ

CIAO~~~ <3

Ignored...

Insert: Hello + Replay Ver. [SHINee]

"Hello, hello, Please give me a chance...

Hello, hello, I don't know how you feel right now...

Who knows? Two of us might be destiny...

Hello, the times I spent by your side,

Can no more compare to any other happiness.

I can't express myself to you,

My heart wants all of you, never let you go.

If this is love, I'll never let it go...

Who knows? The two of us...

Hello, hello..."

I have been ignored.

Ah well, I've guessed that this is gonna come one day.

After all, sono ai wa nisen no mono nanda.

It's been... 3 weeks? Since that conversation ended.

And since how long had the exchange of SMSes did not happen,

From the day until the nighttime.

Neither does the talk on the phone...

Of more than 1 hour and 30 minutes can handle...

(Or perhaps the fee is just too high HAHA)

Come to think about it, the life during that few weeks before were like...

Some kind of dream.

Some kind of dream of happiness and sweetness.

Yet, dreams are just dreams.

Reality isn't the same as what dreams are.

And of course, there might not be anyone that would realizing that dream for me.

Do I miss yet? Hell yeah I sure do.

But then, I can't miss it.

Because if I really do miss it, I would be drowned in the past again.

But seriously, I never knew what's the true feeling,

Of the both subjects in this relationship.

Though, if I really knew it...

Would I be strong enough to face it?

Or give it up when the time comes?

To be honest: I don't know.

Perhaps I would be calm about it...

Too calm, I'd say.

As if I've already predicted that this would happen.

Yet, when I turned around, tears would start flowing out like an everlasting fountain.

Maybe... Maybe...

Who knows if I might just laugh it off like cleaning some dusts off?

Or, I might feel nothing at all.

Or...

But to be honest, that day when you came and visit... your stuffs,

Yeah, I really don't think that you're here to visit a person so -shrugs-

That time that we chatted, I'm really happy...

And damn, I really hoped that you can stay for a longer time,

But... -sigh- You have work at 1230 so, I MUST tell you off.

Or else, you would be late... anyway.

That's yet another dream, and you're not here to visit me.

So I'm just doing my part, I help you send that thing here and there.

And that's all.

After that, we shall have no more connection.

Unless...

Nah, it's impossible for you to actually like me anyway.

Screw that idea off.

Nevertheless, it's the truth that I've been ignored.

"I said I wouldn’t let go of your hand,

I don’t know from when, but I don’t think so any more...

Maybe because I am too tender or too young?

You are so pretty but it’s certainly you don’t know true love,

I want to tell you but can’t express my true feelings...

Whatever I do, my heart, already unable to reach you?

The memories that's in my heart, it's keep on: Replay replay replay..."

Cards and Thoughts......

Insert: Nyancat All By Myself [by Celine Dion?]

Today I is very the bored.

No lar, that "moral" doofus release us earlier... =v=

And so, I shall be typing a post today.

YYYEAY!!! 8DDD

===

Yesterday I did some tarot reading...

By myself, of course. =v=

I don't trust the applications or whatsoever things like that.

Anyway...

"Unfinished business"...

Indeed, there is one VERY BIG unfinished business that I haven't taken care of.

What is that?

Well, I'm too tired to do another reading, so I was wondering about it myself.

And if I'm not mistaken, it must be...

Some. Certain. H. =v=

It's obvious that I don't love H anymore.

Demo, hakkiri shite nai no kana, atashi...

I'm not quite sure what's the intention of H but...

I guess I really should tell H off.

Mmhmm.

And until H really apologize,

Our relationship will be -HAIYA CHOP!!!- 8DDD

Even in my fantasy world, H don't stand a place anymore.

Yyyeap, you heard me.

Even for some thing such as a fantasy, H don't stand a place at all.

There's not a single lingering for H in my heart and mind anymore.

Mmhmmm~

This is really the first time I'm having this kind of... thoughts?

[OFFTOPIC]

Dude, I can't believe my favorite lecturer is gossiping/38-ing with me...

In FACEBOOK!!! XDDDDDDD

Miss Lina, I is very the zadao desu. PX

By the way, I'm blinded by the lights of happiness in front of me...

Carmen and Daniel arrrrrr~~~ =A=|||

Please be considerate WEIIIIII~~~~~~~ \(TAT)/

That's why I've been spamming my status about the two of them...

And Miss Lina goes and comment in most of them LAWL XDDDDDD

Once again: I is very the zadao muchie the very the desu. PXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PS: Carmen is very the high. =v=

[/OFFTOPIC]

So...

I did a lot of readings yesterday (nono, not the books),

And... hmmm...

Something bugs me, and cleared my heart at a certain point.

So... You never love me before, I guess...?

Oh well, I've somehow guessed it.

You just see me as a lil' kid who needs some comforts.

Or... was I giving you the wrong thoughts...?

Perhaps, since I was always complaining... Hmmm...

But seriously... I really AM a lil' kid, ain't I?

Demo saa, sunao ni wake nai deshou?

Datte... Atashi no koto, anta zen zen koi shite nai deshou?

Dakara... Nani mo... dekinai... kana...? -sigh...-

I'm wondering... Should I actually continue in pursuing this,

Or should I just let it be like nothing ever happened?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Ah, maa, nandemo ii yaaa~

Nani ga attara, Sawako-chan to Yano-chin ga aru dakara saa~~~ 8DDD

Eheh~~~ PXXX

Of inspirations and Bad Lucks...

Insert: Just The Way You Are [GLEE Cover]

The result of my so-called "self-hurting"...
Is really the beautiful. PX (Wah, prasan... =A=)
I love my tattoo-ing. (Memang prasan...)

"Heart Shattered"
~ Drawn in Film and Arts Appreciation class
NOTE: Can be better... =v=

"I Love You"...TBC...
~ Drawn in Concert Choir Recital
NOTE: Bad lighting effect and unfinished yet...

"I Love You
But... ...Do you love me?"
~ Added on in my house...
NOTE: I really need a G-1 black pen... OTL|||

"I Love You

But... ...Do you love me?"
~ With different background

Now just hope that this inspiration can be continued... for the next two days... =v=

Ah, speaking of "tattoo"-ing, I need to buy a black G-1 pens... OTL|||

===

So...
Of today.
What I've gone through...

[ Morning: Film and Arts Appreciation. ]

Ahhh...
They're talking about groups and groups...
Which group we're in... blahblahblah...
It took almost 1 an hour just to allocate people in their groups...
Just because some idiots doesn't manage to find enough people in their group...
Including the group that I'm in =v=
And the idiots doesn't have the initiative to come forth and choose people...
And so, the three of them are being "chosen" by groups that lack of one or two members...

Smart asses. *sigh*

And so...
Didn't really learned much today.
Just "learned" about what should we do for our assignments... and that's all.
*shakes head*

I don't call that learning. =v=

[ Lunch Break: Block D ]

Ohhhh...
Ohohohoho...
Gossips......
Me LOOOOVES gossips...... *heheheheheh...*
And the very interesting interactions between a junior (though only one sem away),
And a very arrogant/snobbish senior/drummer (he's really good though...)

Ah well, only some fun stuffs.
Just that.

Still...

The seniors will leave their legenda down...?
Hmmm...
I wonder who will pass on to who for our sem...

[ Afternoon: Composition Major Saxophone Masterclass ]

I once again found the importance of rhythm and articulation.
And of course, the band coordination and the chemistry...
Because, from these 2 band plays, I really found out that there's a lot of problems with...
Rhythm (everyone had different rhythm running), articulation (of the saxophonist),
Band coordination (sound is not balanced) and chemistry (not in a whole).

I guess, I really DID learn something about bands through the Band Camp...
So it wasn't really THAT bad after all...
Hmmm...

Through this master class, I've learned quite lot about Saxophone.
And I really hope, from this, I'm able to compose a better melody line for Sax... =v=
I'm gonna SCRATCH DOWN all of those lines and rewrite them...

PS: Thanks Ms. Lee for letting me go for the Sax. Master Class. *love sign~*

[ Evening: Home House ]

I really damn hate my family for leaving so many things behind.
First I need to fetch the maid's sister to my house...
Which, I can originally NOT fetch her and just leave her rot in there...
While I practice my drummings in the school - which I can't because of her.

Damn you.

Then, I really hate that particular maid because she's so slow.
And thanks to her slowness, I was forced to park inside my brother's house.
Which... My car got a scratch thanks to that. *sigh*

Stupid me. *slaps head* And Bad luck much... =v=;;;

After that... of course.

I SLEEP.

PS: I forgot there's a vegetarian BA ZHANG!!! OAO!!! Should've brought it to Carmen...

[ Night: Concert Choir ]

Once again, for today, I've learned the importance of...
RHYTHM AND ARTICULATION.
Desu. =v=

I can't believe the Concert Choir actually had this kind of problem... =A=|||

Their harmony and their tone/sounds, I have nothing to say.
But they're really not that good in singing complicated songs...
Of different entering points and complicated articulations.
And their ending of "s" is not the same.
I bet SyncTone can do better in terms of this...
...though not really in the harmony/tone part... OTL|||

Ah, speaking of SyncTone, I miss it...
My old choir when I was in highschool... *sigh*
Disbanded after my SPM year... so sad. *siiiiiigh..."

Anyway, I must say the Concert Choir is splendid in the harmony part.
It's really overwhelming, I must say. =3
Definitely the best choir of our school.
Though I've seen better when I was in SyncTone (not us, the others) but still...
One of the best. ^w^

[ After Concert Choir: On The Way Back... ]

Lalala~
I'm tired but I'm still singing~
Lalala~

*cough* That's not it. =v=

The important part of this is my bad luck part two.

Why and what happened?

Okay, when I was going through that shortcut, there's a motorcycle over there.
I saw him, he saw me.
Okay.
I PURPOSELY slowed down my speed,
Right after I went through the road,
But I can't stop since there's cars behind me.
I'm just beside him when I slowed down,
And he noticed that too... (I HOPED. =A= HE WASN'T EVEN LOOKING...)
So, I continue my journey......

...and I heard something "scratched" through my right door.
"Ah. Kena liao." ~ Me.
I'm LOOKING at him when I heard that, and he's NOT EVEN LOOKING...
Then when I passed...
I saw a very funny SLOW-MOTION (okay, maybe NOT that slow, but still, slow) fell down...
OF the motorcycle (and the passenger).

The heck?

Hey dude, please lah.
USE YOUR EYES. =A=
And...
You drunk ah? =A=?!?!?!
My MyVi is small, yes, but bigger than your motorcycle kan?
And I'm SILVER dude, not BLACK.
You should be able to SEEEEE my car...
And yet, you LOOK AWAY like it's none of your business.
The heck......
=A=

I really pray for you to be safe.
And DO NOT repeat your idiocy.
Because one day, it might not hurt you, but hurt the others:

ESPECIALLY THE PERSON SITTING BEHIND YOU, DUDE.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...*

Oh, and you know what?
Since that spot that he fell down is a turning point, I can't stop.
So...

I escaped. 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *shot*

Well, they're still standing and pushing the motor anyway... =v=
I no see people get hurt.
None of my business~ Lalala~~~ 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD



===



Well, that concludes today's happening.
And tomorrow...
Let's just hope that my Jimuis can be there for at least the afternoon.

PTT!
FANTOI TAIMU!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!

Inspiration, or Self-Hurting?

Insert: Emo Vocaloid Songs...? [Nee, Rolling Girl, Hajimete Koi ga Owaru Toki...]

You know, being heartbroken wasn't the worse thing in the world.

And perhaps, thanks to this, my inspiration for some certain things had came back.

Especially the tattoo-ing that I stopped doing since...

Since...

NS? Or Highschool?

I think it's Highschool, since I can't do it in NS anyway.

I should develop more on my hand for more often.

Though my mom warned/scolded me for this,

Since it's poisonous - the ink, that is.

But seriously...

Who cares if I got poison or whatsoever?

Seriously, I don't see the importance of this anymore.

Let it be death or alive,

I just want to express myself.

If the others done self-hurting through knifes,

I use it through poisonous arts.

At least, it's an art.

Not scars.

But of course, these effects are permanent.

In tact within your body.

Unlike the scars, which are just temporary.

Heh.

So much for telling people off from self-hurting,

Here I am, hurting myself...

Only in a different way which I don't feel the pain.

===

I shall write more songs...

Shiomaru-senpai is really good,

But her songs are all emo-ish.

Mainly because her instruments are all piano and violins?

Hmmm...

If that's the problem, then I shall be writing more upbeat songs.

But her vocal's melody line inspired me.

Perhaps I should put the same way into my instrumental songs...

Like the Saxophone thingy. -sigh-

Gah.

I shall use these 3 days to AT LEAST produce one full song...

And finish some unfinished business...

Hitoribochi no Michi? Yeap.

Nee, Shitteru? Mmhmm.

Tsumetai no Kokoro? Perhaps...

And then, I shall grab someone to perform these for me...

Of Disappointments Again...

Insert: Rain [by YUI]

For the last weekend, I have encountered 3 things which...

I'm quite disappointed?

Yeap.

===

Saturday.

There's the Japan Ganbatte event at night.

There's cosplaying and a concert.

A lot of my close friends didn't go for it, so I only go for the concert.

Okay.

Seriously, the cosplay event, I have nothing to say, but...

For the concert...

I was there from the beginning until the end...

And so, I will comment on this.

The first song: Chocobo's Theme.

It's UCSI senior's own rendition of the song itself.

I really LOVE it, and it's a HUGE BLAST.

It built up my expectation until SO HIGH.

SOOOO HIGH.

SOOOOOOOOO HIGH until it dropped down like a crash of an airplane.

I was DISAPPOINTED.

Not of the first song, but for the songs AFTER that.

They just... crushed some part of my dreams...

...okay, I'm exaggerating a lil' bit too much, but STILL!!!

Hey, "ROLLING STAR" DUDE!!!

ROLLING STAR!!!

BY YUI!!!

Damn, they went and CRUSHED this song like... UGH!!!

I don't even wanna describe how bad they did it.

They literally insulted YUI by their rendition of this song.

I'm not sure where they're from, but they really SUCKED.

-sigh-

The only good thing other than the first band, shall be...

1) The female drummer (even Onie-sama wants to go GL with her LMAO!)

2) The female vocalist who uses a traditional Japanese way to sing (she's DAMN awesome!)

3) Fantastical... they're really good 8D

I guess... that's all?! OAo?!

Yeah, that's all.

No song that interests me.

No song that's able to make us high.

No NOTHING.

Damn, they really SUCKED too much...

I'm so, so, so, so, so damn sad.

Oh, and I'd rather let the background singers to sing that heavy metal...

Rather than letting that stupid dude to sing...

AND HOW DARE THEY KILLED SHIOMARU-SAN'S VOICE?!

Shit them. =A=!!!

Grrr...

Though I had a good time with Onie-sama and Kou-chuan before this. 8DDD

-takes slippers and hits the tree LOL!-

===

Sunday...

Morning...

Eat DIMSUM with my family...

9 people (including a baby) in the car...

Depart at 9a.m. from Midah...

Go to Kuchai Lama...

Then start makan dimsum...

Did we chat? I barely pay any attention.

All I remembered was that I'm eating and eating and eating...

Then we go back.

When we arrived home, guess what's the time?

10 a.m.+

Not even 10:30 a.m. YET.

The heck?!

I knew that my family is fast but...

THIS FAST?!

Oi, this is DIMSUM!

Not... magi mee... the heck. =A=!!!

And yesterday when we went the steam foods are out of stock,

And we need to wait for them to cook...

AND THEY STILL CAN EAT SO FAST?!

The heck wei... =A=|||

Now I know why everytime I go out and eat...

I'm the fastest to finish the food...

Ha...haha...hahaha... ha....... =v=|||

Afternoon, 3p.m....

Got down to 1U with Masa.

Want to buy some private stuffs... but,

Jusco department is NOT open. =v=

Damn you renovation.

Good... Very good...

I shall NOT buy it today then...

-sigh-

Nighttime...

Masa forgot to take back her Yukata.

Hah...

Fine.

I kehpoh a lil' and help her to check it out.

Mana tau...

I open the brown plastic bag, I saw HAMCHOI.

Oh yes, I'm not mistaking it...

It IS the Yukata indeed...

Good.

Very good.

I can't believe someone would do such thing to such a beautiful yukata.

How is it HAMCHOI?

Okay, example:

Take a shirt, throw into the washing machine, take it out (still in a ball shape),

Let it dry naturally, then SQUEEZE it down into a thinner size.

That's how HAMCHOI it is.

Imagine.

I couldn't complain enough on this...

This is... BULLSHIT.

And this is not the end of what happened to the yukata.

The white stuffs are stained with red color.

Only the yukata is in the plastic bag,

While the other things (such as the obi and the ribbon),

Are placed along with slippers.

The heck...?

Had this certain H any sense of hygiene and responsibility?

And the appreciation of art?

Damn.

When I saw what happened to those things, I was like:

"Damn! I really wanna kill whoever that did this..."

By the way, that's not all...

There's a lack of a red pouch and a pink fan.

Where was it? Hmmm...

I really hope that it wouldn't become one of some H's collections...

Like what happened to Onie-sama's books. =v=

If that really happen... I really don't know her anymore... -sigh-

If that really happen...

I can really officially label her as "Gokiburi".

She doesn't deserve the name she's holding right now.

===

Today. Monday.

Moral class.

It's supposed to have a quiz by today,

But I don't know why, the teacher... didn't seemed to give one.

And I was really DU LAN by this damn teacher.

Why?

Okay, this is what happened.

He asked us to choose one religion, and write your understanding based on it.

So, we wrote.

And then, he asked us to speak out of what we've wrote.

I listened towards the others that he picked out to talk.

And I was having a face of disgust and disagreement as they speak.

Why?

They're talking about the history of the god, not the teachings of the god.

For example: Islam.

They go all the way baaack into the history of Islam...

And talk about how Nabi Muhammad is born, how he became a merchant, etc.

But they never said what caused him to become who he is,

How he was respected by the people - NONE.

They just talked about "Oh, the uncle brought him in...

Gave him a bigger modal... Introduced him towards a girl... etc."

That's it?

That's Islam?

That's YOUR understanding about Islam?

Another example: Buddism.

"The prince is born, and according to the prophecy,

He's either going to be a sage that saves humanity, or become a great king.

And so, the king of the country did everything to prevent him to..." and etc.

Okay.

So THAT'S Buddism.

Seriously?

You people SUCK.

But I can't blame you people.

BECAUSE THE TEACHER APPROVED IT.

I asked him: "Teacher, what exactly should we write if this question were to come out? Should we write the history of the god, or the teaching of the god?"

He replied something like: "No, first, you must understand the question (okay...?), and actually, the history comes with the teaching (seriously?). -turned his head towards the class- But relax, final exam will not have essay, so it's okay... But you all still need to study, okay? Even MQE (I don't remember the exact term, but whatever) requires studies blahblahblahunrelatedstuffsblah."

See how exactly he literally IGNORED my question?!

Hey, you're a teacher.

And this is your way of teaching?

Damn...

What kind of a MORAL teacher is this damn bullshit?

FICK DICH.

===

But seriously, why do I care so much about all of those?

I shouldn't be wasting my time and energy in that.

-sigh-

There's really no point in doing such a thing.

Like, right now, I'm here wasting my time,

Waiting for the time to past as I typing this blog over here.

And...

I really don't know what to expect any longer.

The more that I expect, the more that I got disappointed in.

Although I've already expect the worse since the beginning...

Still, when it happened, I really can't believe that it's happening...

Damn.

People said that ignorance is bliss, yes.

But that's when people actually learned the true art of ignorance.

Because, they would still suffer if they couldn't,

As they lied to themselves that they're ignoring.

Truth is: They really still care about it.

That's why people suffer.

And that's why I suffer.

Because I'm unable to ignore.

A waste of my time and money. -sigh-

Stupid people...

Stupid classes...

Stupid... me. -shakes head-

I can no longer expect anything from this world anymore.

Weekends of Emptiness...

Insert: Just the Way You Are (Minor Ver.) [by... Jack and Melissa? XDDD]

How much I wanted to type about the other incidents, I just can't.

The weekend where I'm gonna be alone in my house is coming...

And it's freaking me out.

I don't know what the heck am I afraid of.

The darkness?

The loneliness?

Or myself?

I'm not quite sure what I'm expecting.

The person that was supposed to be accompanying me just... poof.

Oh well, I can't expect him to accompany me every time...

I guess this time I really need to ask for someone else...

Or...

I'll just stay in this big house by myself...?

Yeah, perhaps that's the best thing...

But...

Seriously, what am I expecting?

She will never, in anyway, be able to accompany me.

-sigh- Cut it off Akira Rei.

Stay back in your own fantasy land.

And escape from this cruel reality for 3 days.

Who knows?

Maybe in return, your composition ideas will surge like a fountain.

COME ON! CREATE SOME GOOD SONGS!

Have your fantasy to return and be able to create some good stuffs!!!

Whether it's to draw, to write, or to sing!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~

绝缘体

Insert: 透氣 [by 戴佩妮]

我与爱是绝缘体。
感觉不到爱，也看不见爱。
至少，在我的世界里面，从来都没有爱的出现。
亲情，友情，爱情。。。
19年来，
从不感受到任何一点爱。

是自己爱得不够深吗？
付出不够多？
所以得到比较少？
还是我太过于自我中心？
所以就算别人对我有爱，
本身还是感觉不到呢？

想了这么多年，我还真地感受不到呢。

还是，我活在自己的幻想世界太久了？
为无数的幻想感动及流泪，
为无数的现实难过及失望。



到底有没有被爱过，不知道，也感受不了。
从家人方面，朋友方面，喜爱的人的方面。。。
19年，始终如一。

没感觉。



有时候，真得很想消失，一了百了。
因为在一个什么都有，但是什么都感觉不到的世界，
我宁愿什么都没有，但是能够感觉到爱的世界。

能够感觉到什么叫珍惜，能够感觉到什么叫自己。

就因为拥有的太多，所以麻木了。
麻木了自我，麻木了感受，
要求得更多，但是感觉不了满足感。



承认对家人的态度的确很有问题，
也有可能这是问题的开始。
但是，我对朋友不算差吧。
为何还是有这么多的失望感呢？
对喜爱的人更加不用说，
跟我久的人都看得出。

问题出在哪里，自己还是现实？

想了。。。。。。。。。
算他6年吧，
没答案。



有时候，应该选择去相信什么，自己也搞不清。
应该说，我对现实失去了信心。
死死算了吧。



最好世界末日可以快点到，
免得我在这里想太多，
过着一些不切实际的生活。



YYYEAY! b (= v =) d

Funny...

Insert: She Loves Me Not [by Paparoach]

I, made you laugh easily?
Seriously?
That dude must be kidding me.
Doesn't you laugh at most of the things?

And seriously, why the bother?
Why go through all the troubles to make ninety roses?
Does it worth the time?
Are you that bored?
Does it worth your feeling?
Won't you save it for someone else?

Seriously, I DON'T get it at all.

Your feelings, your actions, and your words...
They don't match at all.
I do not know which one is the truth.
Are all Geminis like this?
Or was it just you?
Is this another trial or whatsoever?
Is there any signs I should look out for?
Was your actions supposed to make me feel something?
Or you're just ignoring me?
Or I'm the one who's thinking too much?
But seriously, what the heck--------



Nonononono, stop.
Stop it Rei, stop it.
It doesn't worth your brain and your heart,
For thinking so much about something...
Something that could never be yours.
And as I said before:
Even if it worked out now,
Things will be stopped in the next September.
So why the bother?
Can't you just stop thinking?
It seriously don't worth it.



And so, I shall declare myself:

Single, and unattached...

[As if the latter one is really possible. Heck.]



Come to think about it,
After THAT particular "chatting" session / incident...
The messages are so much colder than before, [We don't even hold hands today, YEAY!]
And if I'm not mistaken, there's an ignorance going on.
Oh well, I've already predicted this would happen,
Since I'm so much the one who ended the so-called routine of our messages...

No more "good mornings" and "good nights" if we don't talk at all.
No more pointless messages.
No more prioritizing your messages.

No more.

Your problem is no longer my problem anymore.
Not anymore.
My problem is neither yours as well.
No more.
So if I'm sick if I'm crying if I'm in rage,
There's no need for concern anymore.

No more.

And seriously, stop being so nice when you really don't mean for me.
I certainly do not worth your spare of kindness or your energy.
YYYEAY! <3



Ah, what the heck?
Why am I bringing up this small matter?
Ahhh, it really doesn't worth the time......
Damn. *shakes head*

No more editing, Akira Rei.

No more.

Now shut your computer and DO NOT turn it on until the day comes...