To A Lot of People

Insert Song: Nankahen no Sekai (Original by Me, am still proud of this masterpiece)

[To 2018 Me]

Yo, don't worry k? You're fine. You'll be fine. 2019 me is super fine yo. Aside from burning down too many bridges (not to say regret, but more of a... "sigh, fine, it's really my fault"), I think everything is still fine as of now?

Work isn't all that smooth, just to say. Whatever I was dreaming since 2006 doesn't work out at all. But hey, it's not like I don't like my life right now? Sure, it was ambitious. I wanted to do a lot of things, but uh, this world ain't very kind in the first place. Be glad that you at least get a good environment to stay in, ok?

But yeah, I wanted to change something, not because it's too stagnant but like, I feel like... everyone's doing their best in their life but I haven't been doing anything? Again, not that it's bad - I don't think it's bad, I enjoyed my life - but it's... a sense of guilt? Because I have been resting for too long, that kind? Not sure.

Maybe 2020 Me will answer this question heh 8D

Anyhow, that's not the reason I'm here soooooooooo

[To Primary Friends]

I have been switching classes yo, from 1U to 2G to 3C 4C then 5R and 6R. Like, the people that I've been meeting are always changing. I was fucking lazy I tell ya, and my punishment was to stay at that stagnant place (seat) when everyone around me was changing (rows).

...come to think about it maybe that's when it started.

Anyways, I knew a lot of friends - friends in class, friends that sits beside me, friends that I met through choir (thank whichever god that allowed this to happen omg I was and AM still grateful about that wonderful experience)

So who do I actually appreciate during Primary school? Who do I actually remember? 1U and 2G felt like a hurricane, though some of the events are still fresh in my head.

Like, I remembered Aster was crying because I don't want to be her friend (but I forgot WHY I don't want to be her friend because I actually wanted to be her friend so I'm so confused wtf actually happened) and we disconnected from then on...

Until like, 3C or 4C? Where I joined choir? Then we all reconnected and I fucking love the people in the choir. I can't remember all of their names but I remember this librarian Yen and Esther were in it. I really don't remember the others wow. And the reason why I remembered them is because we all are in SyncTone in Secondary. Such fate I tell ya-

I remember friends appreciated and liked my singing of Wada Kouji songs, and I really loved singing back then. I forgot their names, but... well, times changed and they soon disliked animations when they entered Secondary. But hey, I think they're the ones who gave me the courage (?) or passion to continue on singing.

Then, starting in 5R and 6R, I got to know the 5 of them and 2 dudes where my brain still have a very fresh memory about. There are 2/3 more other dudes in my drawing but uh I don't really know who are they. (And I hated one of them, but I forgot why :/ He's like, the ALWAYS VILLAIN in the drawing, but... hmmm. Why???)

The thing is, in 5R, those 5 girls and 2 dudes aren't even like my bestest best friends. My best friend is Kiwi. And... dammit I really forgot the other girl's name. I seldom speak with her, but we're all drawing buddies. They all draw like shoujo style and beautiful arts, while me be like SWORDS, DUDES, MUSCLES. But hey, thanks to them, I get to fully enjoy doing arts. Also, Kiwi and I created "Todou Gakuen" and "Legend of Avelent". I actually created stories since 11, wow.

I know you're working hard right now, even though I'm not quite sure what you're doing exactly now. Whatever it is, I hope that you're happy and doing fine. You gave me a good childhood, I'd say. My life actually "started" when I met you. I really enjoyed playing with you.

Back to the 5 girls and 2 dudes. The "R" class has been friends since Standard 3 or 4, so they all knew each other for very long time. When I'm in, I was immediately pulled into their group. Like yeah, I love being in their group, they're super funny and interesting. They find my drawings funny af.

Though sometimes, they already have those inside jokes, and I'm still an outsider. I'm glad that they pulled me in though. It makes me feel like "I belong somewhere". Though for just 2 years, thank you very much.

Even though in the end the ones that I really know is just half of them I think-

[To My Secondary Friends]

1B and 2B (C? I forgot) is truly... boring. Like, seriously. The transition is hard for a lot of people, especially for such an Otaku like me. I really can't TALK with anybody during these time, and I sincerely felt like I wanna commit suicide from such a boring class and classmates. (not a depressed moment, just felt pretty alien)

Kiwi went to an International School in Subang, so even if we can meet and talk it'll always be on the weekends. Even so, we both got new friends and things got harder to catch up. Also this is when I knew that I like girls so it got awkward I think irdfk-

But anyway, thank god Ember is still there, I can still talk to her. But we were not in the same class cuz... I unfortunately (???) scored higher and have to be placed in a "higher standard class" (though to me they're all the same). Meh, I hate those two-three years man :/

That's how I knew Light as well. Thank you man. Thank you so much. Like, seriously, without you? I think there's a lot of things that I don't know how to handle. You taught me so much throughout the years, even though your methods can be a lil'... It doesn't mean I don't appreciate you, alright? Sure, you seem like a toxic friend cuz we're seriously acting like foreigners and degrading other human beings (whenever Callous is around especially) buuuuut

You saved my life, bro. You saved my life. We're been through life and death. Even though you're not in my circle of friends now (I'm sorry cuz I made you uncomfortable, probably), please do call me if you need help. If it's not too much to handle, I'll do to repay that favor. That one favor when I was 19 and being idiot to trust the wrong person for my life.

Another one that I'll thank is Snow. Well, cuz, she was normal back then and no matter how I see it, she's like my first ever crush like HARD CRUSH. We were never together mind you. But yeah, it's as if we're together, but seriously we're... not. :/

She has became a Princess now so I'm only thanking her when she's still Snow.

...fine, I'll still thank the Princess but seriously the resentment is still going strong no matter what sort of things that she's doing now. It's like, that nightmare will still haunt me. But hey, it taught me to actually learn how to drive and not fucking be dependent on anyone else but myself, k? If it's not because of that, I don't think I'll learn how to drive that fast, and with SUCH passion.

So yeah, thank you for being my first love because of your... probably "illusionary" tolerance and the love of animation. I don't know how many percentage of you is actually tolerating this brat from giving you weird attentions and love, but hey, thank you for not pushing me away, and... sorry for causing you troubles.

But, I resent you from that time. I still do. It'll be a memory that will forever etch in my mind, reminding myself of such an event, to protect myself from everyone else.

I... I really don't remember many people in Secondary. I'm so sorry. I remember that one you because you're still in my friend list but... we're not actually "friends". I like you as my neighbour cuz you won't discriminate me drawing at my free time, but that's almost everything that I remember. Thank you for being humorous and funny tho.

[My Online Friends ~ Throughout my 10 - 23 years old]

My first ever forum RP is a Digimon forum... which I forgot wtf the name is. It was weird, we all just create characters and BOOM everyone's like YEAH WE CAN DIGIVOLVE INTO OUR LATEST FORM AND I WIN YOU I ALWAYS WIN YOU NEVER GET TO WIN MEEE metagame shits. It was... really meh.

But then, I discovered... my life changing forum omg.

Also Digimon, mind you. I only Digimon back then. Don't question. I still love them now. Waiting for the final movie to come out. 

Digimon Chronicle. The first version. In ezboard. Fucking old I tell ya. I was in there, and luckily I was in there, I managed to make an account and start an adventure with a GM.

Then, there's the second version... and because of the second version, the people who imported from the first version get to have a whole ton of godmod freebies that I can't even imagine that I was so lucky to get 'em. But anyhow, because of that, I'm like "yeah, the VETERAN" of the forum *smirks* (even tho I was a newbie in the forum LOL)

But uh, that's not the biggest deal I tell ya.

Majin DarkSide. Yes, I still remember his name. He is like my first best buddy in the board, and like my "first leader". He was a Moderator back then (like a GM) and there was no "draw system" back then, so... when you do the Flamingomon's Casino 10 draws, the GM will randomly give you stuffs based on how they feel during that day. (Yes, I /think/ bias did happened back then, but I never knew since I was so young - I was 10 I think. I forgot. The records in my saved files is when i was 13 so I probably started a few years before.)

I didn't cared about relationships and politics back then, but idk how he liked me and we're always like RPing (or chatting) together, so I managed to get quite a few amazing deals from him. Money, Digimons, Eggs, High Level Other-Anime-Bastards-'mons, etc. It was great time...

Until they realized that shit is too much and wanted to close it down to REVAMP it into a new system. So....... here comes two different forums. (Or was it that the admin was too busy to handle it so they decided to change shits i forgot) They also allow humans to level up themselves so it's really weird but uh Y E A H. (Also, this is before Digimon Frontier is being introduced, so they all banned the Spirit 'mons; also since this is before DF it means it's before Saviors hence WE ARE THE ORIGINAL DDS WITH PUNCHES K??? ehem)

One is still called Digimon Chronicle, if I'm not mistaken, but has taken a whole new approach. You can no longer get daily freebies like how you do back then, and you're actually forced to RP. Buuut it's inactive af so we never really got to do anything here - which makes me fucking S A D. It has so much potentials orz

The other one is Forgotten Chronicle, which is like a spiritual successor of the original DC. You still get freebies, yes, but it's more systematic and you can't really "cheat". No more "bias" giveaways. It's all dice rolled and randomized. This is where I /really/ learned how to RP, cuz a lot of "competitions" aren't centered around "how powerful is your Digimon" but more of "how did you use your body and moves, how do you describe your actions, to land a solid and convincing hit on the other party".

There's this dude named "Zero", and I really followed his every single posts. His descriptions are the top of the top, so I'm always learning how to write from him. That's also how my English got like almost perfect I'm so damn glad and proud TAT

I knew Azure from here. He's from... Vietnam? I think? I forgot. But he's like my best bud during that time (aside from Majin, who created his own Chaos Knights and then shits happen and then idk what happen omg it's so chaotic like its namesake I really forgot what actually happened hAHAHAHAHAH) and we always RP together because our time matches really well.

Buuuuuuut they're all not THE friends that I treasure in my heart.

DC and FC got inactive when all the mods stopped modding, and admins stopped coming in, so it was dead. I have to find a new place. Then I found the one that got my heart beat, then broken in the short span of 5 years - wow 5 years is actually very long.

ANYWAY.

ArianaPhoenix. This is the person that my heart always have a soft spot on, and I still have. The thing is, I can't always connect with her, and it's just so hard to get to her. But when I do, I always have a great time with her. Hence, this is a huge guilt for me to unable to commit my heart and soul for such a person out there in the world where I have never seen, meet, or touched before. But hey, we heard each other's voices. That's when my phone bill racked up - yikes. I was deeply in love with her back then, and she to me. But...

It doesn't really work out when it's like on and off and on and off and like there's so much doubts. My heart is always up and down in the forum too, cuz when she's on, I can do a lot of things - but when she's not, there's so many things that I just... don't feel like doing it.

I got to know a lot of closer friends too during those days (maybe because I'm 18 and I know what I'm doing already???) like Enzan, Random, White (in a Persona forum)... fuck, I really don't RP with a lot of people :/ Like, I spend my time only with Ari orz

I'm too scared to go and check her out, like, my heart is always grateful and misses her company. But I can't afford to love you anymore like how I did back then. I'm so sorry, and I thank you very much for all the time you spend with me. I truly hope things are getting better for you, and you got to marry the girl of your life, somewhere, and be happy.

[To My University Friends]

There are TWO important friends that I gained and I hope I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER IN MY LIFE lose them. One is Keyboard and one is Criminal. Obviously those aren't their real names but it's an inside joke that if you know, you know. So they're not a keyboard warrior nor a criminal, ok? In fact, they're FAR from it. (is that why they got the name HAHA)

Anyway.

I don't know how many karma I racked up to be able to meet you two man. Holyshit. Like sure, there's the Tree and also the Bean but seriously, you two? You two are the bombs. Even though there's always disagreements, and Keyboard you're always too shy or too insecure to speak your mind out, but when we solve them - we SOLVE THEM. You two helped me to get through my University Life of Despair.

I really hated that we can't be in the same band for longer time. I really enjoyed my time with you two. If it's not because of you two, I would've - again - died somewhere out of boredom or out of distress. Thank you. I hope you two have a good life. It doesn't matter if it's long or short as long as it's a happy and a fulfilling life <3 (but selfishly I hope that it'll be long cuz I still wanna be friends and hangout with you two TAT)

Hey Keys, like, I really hate the fact that I didn't know you earlier so that we can take most classes together (we're born in the same year but got in at different times dammit) and we can go on a great adventure! 8D I mean, Nan is a great adventure on its own, but... There's too many things that happened. So I'm really sorry for not explaining myself very well, making some regretful decisions, and hurting most of the people. No, I don't want to connect back to everyone - yet - because tbh Nan isn't about them. It's about you and I trying to make it work.

So... for me to actually step down, and causing such a rift, there's been a great shame that it happened. I have put the shame away and try to connect back one by one, and I started from you. But of course, that's because Criminal is coming back that's why I can use like ITS MY CHANCE!!! But yeah, I missed playing with you, really TAT No matter how the others say, you're still the best in the smol circle that we have here.

Criminal, you're always that big sis to me. You may be smol and blur (at times) but your aura is always calming. You're like, the sister that I wished to get. You listen, and you gave sound advice. You listen, and you would laugh together. I really, really, hope that you and your bf can be happier and live well together without caring too much on the social standards, society's expectations, or other people in general. Just be who you are, and your bf the same. I hope he treats you better too HAHAHAHAAHHAHA dudes be dudes i'm the dude so i kinda know why certain words are being said that way X'D

Of course, the Tree is important. If it's not because of Tree I wouldn't have know the two of you. We were buddies, too. Great buddies. Until... the band. *SIGH* Why oh why guitarists are always the source of all problems. It's just so hard to get a good guitarist in uni it's A HUGE DESPAIR I TELL YOU. Especially when all my songs are rock/metal based and without a good guitar means YOU ARE PRONOUNCED "DEAD".

Do you fucking know that I used to admire you? Because you can play your own songs, but I can never do that? I may have been learning piano since 7 but I ragequit after Grade 7. But no, you didn't live up to our expectations. Tbh that's fucking sad and disappointing. It's like, a huge mountain collapsed. Do you know how hard is it for us all to accept that fact?

SIGH.

But seriously. From Keyboard, it sounds like you're doing super now - albeit fucking busy and all over the world and stressed af - but hey, I hope you're happy with whatever you're doing and actually contribute well to the music world, k?

Please don't further disappoint. Please.

Now to the juniors. Let's start with... The Bean... *SIGH* This can be a whole entire new blogpost but heeeeere goes.

I am SO FUCKING SORRY I called you my disciple cuz, obviously, you're much better than me! Look at you now, you can even function without me, and be learning arts now! You have always been better, and much more talented, just without my kind of confidence (though I really have none I just appear to look like I have).

That's why I loved you, ok? Your talents are killing me. Do I love your personality? That time before I graduate - yes, yes I do. But aaaafter I graduate?

Nnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh.

Ok, I wasn't sure if it's a change. I hope it- I don't even know what to hope. But anyway, if it's a change, then I feel sorry and pity for you to have that change. If it's NOT a change, and it's just your inner self surfacing and be bolder, then... *sigh* I don't like you anymore, then.

Come to think about it, do I really know you? Are you really my friend? At that time, I truly think that you are, and I shared every single detail to you - even my hobbies and arts and music and... so many other things in the world. Did you cared? I'm not so sure now that I think back. Were you just trying to taichi me? I have so much doubts now.

But nevertheless, I loved you, because I was happy around you. I cared for you, because there was no other one worthy enough for my care. There's so many things that we've been through together, and tbh I really am disgusted at myself being so disgusting around you. I don't think that there's ANYTHING in the world that can help you to clear that off from your mind and it's also been a nightmare for me but seriously, I hope that I can apologize in front of you and talk things through.

If, just an if, whatever that part of my heart "believed" is correct and you ARE really hurting, I wish that in a very near future that you can really move on and start to heal. My pain is over, so I hope that yours will be over too. If you don't want to talk, that's perfectly fine - whatever that makes you happy and healing.

Aaand last of all, a person that I don't deem too much as a role of being a University Friend but she IS my junior and she IS in the university when I'm still in there... Pens. Yo Pens. You never joined any of the classes with me - that's like super fine, because even without being classmates, you're a great friend. Awesome friend. Another friend that I don't want to lose.

We never really played together too, so it's a... different kind of friend, from Keyboard and Criminal. But hey, you're working with Keyboard now! I hope you two are friends too, then we can have a friends night where everyone isn't strangers 8D I hope that everyone can go out and play together too TAT (Whether it's tabletop games or band also can)

Thank you Pens. Thank you for listening to this potato's weird rants about love and relationships and keep on nagging at you for every single small details then distance because you won't listen or something then come back because I fucking missed you and frankly, I can't care about your life so... as long as you're happy, I'm happy k? I hope that you won't live to regret, or fuck up in your life. Your past is the past. Ignore them and look forward, do well, live well, for the future.

I'm waiting for the wedding invitation punye k so pls don't just ghost me 8'D

Ohya, after talking to you, I wanna thank you for one more - thanks for being the only person (and still is, I think) that understands each other's situations and be able to talk about it. No matter the conclusion, at least we managed to talk about it. Otherwise, we probably end up being like YaSi or something... and that's creepy af TAT

[To My ACG Friends]

RLC. The one and only. No other one other than you. You may NOT saved me from death, but you have saved me from being suicidal and knew that someone actually cared. That gentleness and kindness from you towards a stranger like me at that DREADFUL DAY was the one favor that I'll always remember.

Now that we're actually in a group together, I wish that it works out and lasts. You've always been a great person to work with - it's really my fault for not really doing things properly, I think orz Sorry to have to bear with my odd requests and actually tolerating the times that I forgot to tell you we're going out and just BANGING on your door and saying

YO LETS GO EAT

Like that's super sudden and it may destroy your life you could've just say no buuut maybe you're too shy to say no idk but thank you for still coming out with us and eat 8'D Thanks for hanging out with me for these two years I really miss you friend TAT

Though, yeah, we're kind of distant from time to time. I want to believe that you're just socially awkward just like I am LOL But hey, you got problems? Tell me and I'll help ya with all the best that I can.

Thank you for being my bestie now. It's really like a dream come true TAT 

MB, everyone in MB, thank you. I don't know each and every one of you personally, and just collective as a group. Though some of the words I wanna speak to each and every one of you. But as a group, thanks for sticking with us think and thin. We talked through things and ended our hesitations. We all wanted the same things, but real life is being a bitch. I hope that the bitch part ends SOON and we can do MORE THINGS again 8D

I hope everything goes well in 2020 and we can soar up higher ;D

Riida. You reeeaaally need to start eating your veges if you wanna continue down this path. If you kept on doing what you've been doing, you'll destroy your career pretty soon. I know you don't like it, but you HAVE to. Veges are good for the skin, your organs, your... everything lah, ok? Water is important too. If only there's someone that will monitor you. Oh, and stop eating them chilis k? They're not good for you now. Stop it for a while and see what happen. You really need to take care of yourself.

But enough with the nags, I wanna talk about thanks. Thank you for approaching me, the only one race that's different from the rest of you, and inviting me into your circle TAT Without you, I probably still live in the world where it's only my kind of people, and having misunderstanding and misconceptions about you people. Or more like, I want to befriend your people? It's just that the first step... where's the first step??? @A@ So yes, for  you to invite me into your circle, is a HUGE step, and very important. Thanks to you, I can thank more people down below like

The Wotas. You all are different, but you don't care about skin color. What's most important is us performing on the stage and you all enjoying the performance. There's some individuals that I really want to thank individually (like Ajaib) but hey, I'll just thank you collectively first, ok?

Back to Riida. I know that this band is not the only thing that you pay attention to, so I thank you for actually trying your best to make it work. I know how hard it is to do something and start something (I was Nan's leader ok?) so I appreciate your hard works. I am so sorry for certain times when I seemed distant, and probably choosing the other side of the circle instead of hanging out with you. I wish I got Kage Bunshin no Jutsu yo TAT I feel bad for not joining your circle SIGH orz

If there's no you, there's no drummer me. So thank you very much <3

Hal. It's a good thing that you're trying to slim down yo. Even though the love for food is very important (it still is ok?) but health is more important. If you don't have health, what food can you eat? How many years can you still try to eat? Don't worry about whoever that hurt you before, ok? Those people are just idiots who don't know how to appreciate a good girl. I hope you found the one that's for you (like how I do right now) and be healthy enough to enjoy all the things you love in the world. <3

Thank you for always being that sweet girl who thought of everyone's wellbeing and be like the middle person for most of the time. I appreciate your hardwork for the guitar even though you're the least musically trained amongst all of us. I really enjoyed playing and working with you. I wish that we can continue this <3

Tag. You're an amazing person. You can do SO MANY THINGS. But I think that's your burden as well. I don't think you wanna hear my nags so I'm just gonna nag here, nag finish, then move on. But I'm still gonna thank you later. Anyhow, let me nag a lil' here LOL

You do arts, you do music, you do all the things you love, and now you even got your own studio. I feel like the amount of things that you want to do compare to the time you have is overwhelming, so I actually wished that you can take a good amount of rest in between of the things you want to do, without actually burning yourself out like how it was for the past 2 years. I don't want to face another ghosting period, but if it happened... well, it'll happen and we'll manage. I'm glad you have tried to open up to us, and talk about your problems, so that all of us are at the same page and understand what you're going through.

So I thank you for trying to spend time with us, open up, and still do until today. Idk how it'll be tomorrow, but I hope that it'll last. You're a good friend, but if you don't want to talk to us or just want some alone time, I get it. Some people probably won't get it. I hope more people understand your need and give you the love that you deserve to have.

Eagle. Being the youngest in the band is really tough, especially when you're originally not from this circle or this generation. The speech gap is really huge sometimes, and you don't use the apps that we use to connect a lot of times. But still, you did what you could and we're now connected.

Thank you for sticking with these weird weird onee-chan (even though none of us call ourselves that and you actually is more mature than at least two of them) and play with us. It made us feel young too WAHAHAHA (at least two of us idk 8'D) I appreciate your humor, your skills, and you as a person. Your family is awesome too 8D So thank you for being in MB, and I hope that things go well for you. Whatever you do, as long as you're happy, go for it. I hope that you won't do something regretful that you'll lament about it in the future.

Testarossa. You're not in any bands or groups that I am in, because you really don't need it. You're like that accidental friend that I made over these few years and I really still am proud that I got to be your friend. I don't understand you or have a lot to say compared to all the other people up there, but I really do appreciate you because you're a very good friend that I sometimes can talk to. I hope that I can collab with you again in the future TAT

Florence. I have sooo many things I wanna say to you. If it's not because of you, I probably won't get my Treasure or some other friends and discover what I really need in life. This is something that you didn't exactly do it, but if it's not because of you, I can't connect these lines together at all.

And for the things that you actually do, I fucking thank you. Like, from the deepest in my heart. I'm so sorry for the things that didn't work out, and you're so talented that I felt like, tsk, what a waste if you don't have your stage. But with us? I really don't think it works. So I thank you for at least giving it a try, and allowing me to come connect back to you after a long period of... uh, disconnection. You also gave me the courage to go around and try to connect and have closures with different people.

I think it's important to do that, and you made me realize it.

Even if we can't be friends now, you're always being appreciated for appearing at that time in my life.

I mean, the other friends, not you. I still want you to be my friend thanks D8 No one can talk about fictions and creating stories and plotlines like you do >A< You're still an important friend to me ok?

There's also Cinderella and Nico but uh, tbh I don't really know what to say aside from thank you for being my friend during those 2 years. But srsly, I prefer my own group of friends now. I hope you do your best things, perform best, and continue to thrive. You have potentials, and I hope that won't go to a waste.

There's also like so many people that gave me a chance to shine, like Rice cuz she paid me to compose for her. That was great, but the end result isn't to my liking. I'm sorry that I can't do more, and I think I should invest more on this if I want this to work out :/ Thank you for still connected to me (even though not much) and willing to drink tea with me <3 I hope I can continue to make albums for you, cuz your band is amazing and I really do admire you personally TAT

Easy, too, I'm grateful to him. He's like the other Tree, but at least I know that he's trying his best not to disappoint and improving. But he's still a dude, a young dude to be exact, and he's not mature enough to know which jokes are not meant to be said out yet. Still, I'm grateful for him for giving me a chance to collab with bands as a... uh, drum transcriber uvu

Miss 2 is very important too, because she gave me a chance to collab and shine (even for a while) as a vocalist. I'm really happy to work with her, but I feel so sorry for not being able to be productive, not enough to get to THAT POINT. Maybe she's like that too??? I don't know??? But hey, still, thank you for the chance and sorry for the latency 8'D

Are there more out there that I want to thank? Maybe, but for now, I don't think so? I think I tried to thank the people that I wanna thank like, that's all, I think.

OHWAIT. Amaterasu~ Yes. I saved her for last and then I nearly forgot to write it down omg X'D So... I knew you through Florence, and we became fast friends after that. When Florence spoke badly about you, I was almost convinced but then I'm like, hey, isn't that's her own high expectations??? And we have no issues with each other, aside from the fact that (I'm very sorry about this) you do not sing as well as you thought and I can't really help you out nor point it out cuz I was too scared that I'll chase another friend away.

Also, it's been a looong long time since we managed to speak and tbh I... I forgot why we didn't speak but the connection between us always seemed to be on and off and on and off but, to be frank? I like how we're still able to connect even though there's always this "off periods", like, you're always that good friend that I can always go back to. You'll always understand the things that I'm talking about, but it gets exasperating (like how you do to me ;D) at times so I'm like, back off to recharge. The energy level that I require to talk to you is always very high idk why-

Thank you for being with me during 2015, to duet with me and mark the start of my journey as a performer. If there's no you, there's no me on the stage as a singer. If there's no you being there to appreciate my works, I'd feel so dejected and not do anything at all. Thank you for being that supportive friend.

I like that you're trying new things, and finding the CORRECT ONE for you. I'm proud of your efforts, and I really wanna see it work. Here, to hope that you find happiness and be proud of it.

OK THAT BE ALL I THINK. I REALLY DUNNO ANYONE ELSE DESERVE A SPOT IN THIS POST. MAYBE THERE ARE AND I MIGHT EDIT BUT HEY NOW, THAT'S IT.

PS: So far I PM'ed Amaterasu, Pens, RLC, and Keyboard. I haven't PM'ed Florence and Criminal yet. Do I need to? Aiya after these lah uvu I need to PM my MB members too, or not. Ugh, so lazy orz But hey, at least I talked to them in a collective generalized thanks. And I thanked Riida already. Oklah. _(:3

[To My Treasure]

Yiiiiy finally <3 My bb <3

I'm actually quite sad that you don't share my passion for RPing, because I live with that hobby for the longest of my life. I'm sad that I have to find someone else to fill up that gap within me, though... come to think about it, I don't even have the time for it. I'd rather spend time with you than find people to RP with me.

Aside from that though, like that smol regret, and you know about it... there's really nothing else that I really felt sad about? Like, overall you made me happy. We would discuss everything out, even though initially it's hurting the both of us, but in the end we solved it and everyone is happy. Or at least, we knew that each other knew about it, we would respect our different opinions about it. We won't shy away from talking about things that we think the other party probably wouldn't accept it. This is good for both of us. I wish that we can continue on this way.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for appearing and appreciating me when the others don't, or never once showed. I appreciate you always appreciating me and supporting me, even though I don't really do much that would make you proud (in my opinion - it may differ in you opinion LOL). Sometimes I think you overestimated me and put me on a pedestal, overglorifying my achievements while I really think that I'm just a nobody trying to survive in this harsh world that is unfair to artists in general. I'm so sorry that I can't give you more, but I promise to give you the BEST that I can ever give.

I hope that we can reach higher levels, in terms of performance and health. Wealth... uh, we're bound to be broke cuz one day we'll probably be buying houses together, and that'll kill off a huge amount that we have 8'D But hey, what is money without using it, right? ;D

[To 2020 Me]

I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I sincerely hoped that everything goes well for you, you can stay healthier, you actually managed to slim down (I mean, we're all working hard for this so don't fuck up k? Don't fucking waste it. Complain later if shits failed and you got sick but now, just keep it up k?), and you're still happily in love plus living well with Treasure.

I hope you even got a HOUSE to stay with Treasure yo! 8D

That's like, my greatest dream right now. I hope it happens. Even if it's not in 2020, it'll be one day in the future.

F E A R

Insert: ?!

Alright guys let's sort this out shall we?

What transpired me to fucking write that shit 6 fucking years ago?

Do I really feel that kind of responsibility 6 fucking years ago?

Was I the same 6 fucking years ago?

Holyshit.

Oh god.

I'm scared.

I'm so scared.

I'm so scared that this ain't real and I'm gonna hurt another soul.

My treasure.

I can't.

I can't hurt her oh god no. I can't.

I really hope my feelings aren't fake like that one.

Alright fine, maybe both are real, alright? They're both real in the start. I treat them both the same, like princesses.

= = = = = = = = = =

为什么我选择了在最高兴的时候去看那些Blog Posts?
现在我的心情跌入了低谷。
不行，一定要去面对。
这也是她将来要面对的事情。
恩，加油。看完它们吧。

= = = = = = = = = =

很痛苦。看到了以前曾经如此地开心，我很痛苦。
我的感情是真的吗？假的吗?
很怕。很怕。真的很怕。
如果伤害了我的宝物，怎么办？
是我自己伤害了我的宝物的话，怎么办？

很怕。

过去的我有一个执著，就是想要维持一个恋情。
现在呢？现在何况不是一样？
很怕。
很怕。
很怕。
很怕。
很怕。
Shit.
Shit.
想哭了。
为什么我这样？
为什么？
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
看下去。看下去。加油。
至少可以给她一个交代。
加油。

= = = = = = = = = =

心疼还是可怜？
心疼还是把她当成一个角色去把自己放进去？
你也知道自己是一个很容易融入进角色的世界里。
这个是不是也一样？

= = = = = = = = = =

终于读完了。恩，接受了。
不再爱她的原因，明白了。
爱上豆浆，也明白了。
不爱豆浆，现在明白了。

豹是我第一场恋爱，轰轰烈烈？
豆是我最久的爱，也是轰轰烈烈？
宝物呢？

我需要思考。

她现在病着，不能打扰。

我对每个人都一样关心。
我对每个人都一样付出。
BN1 BN2 都一样，但是没有动心。
是不是因为他们是绝对没有可能的？

那么，宝物呢？

恩。

恩。

恩。

我怕，是因为我怕伤害了她。
伤害我自己现在来看倒是无所谓。
恩，又要开始宠了吗？

恩。

恩。

恩。

睡觉吧，明天再想。

顺便。。。

= = = = = = = = = =

其实，我现在有朋友了。
他们会给好的意见。
没问题的。不一样的。
Daijoubu.

= = = = = = = = = =

记得以前很多东西都是写给豹看的，而不是自己真正想写的。
That's why suddenly in the middle of a lot of months, there are no details at all.
No details.
I'm a bit curious on what changed...
Was it because of the outing with her friends?
Was it because of that incident that made me changed my mind about her as a person?

I think so.

I think that's what makes the entire deal broke off.

All my promises? Broke off.

Because of this I don't dare to promise anybody right now. I'm too scared that my worthless promises will make their hopes go very high and shit.

I hope my treasure understands this and doesn't expects too much from me holyshit.

I mean, we do have the same fear for a lot of things... that's why we're willing to put everything up on the table and talk about it rather than keeping everything in our heart.

I will tell her about this, but not now. Not when she needs the rest than other things.

Sigh.

I really want to tell her. I really want to discuss. I really... want to... love her normally.
I'm really scared.
Sigh.

Why am I like this? orz

= = = = = = = = = =

It's been one month since I have so many fears about this relationship... but I have to assure you, the past me, that everything's going better than you thought. You told your treasure about your concerns, both of you worried about the same things, and both of you kind of sort it out.

And hey, both of you love each other more than ever. I can assure you that both of you love each other more than you can think of, and it's getting stronger each day and night that passes. You still talked to her even until today. It's alright, past me. Everything's fine now.

The only fear that you have to fear is probably money and family now =v=)/

So yeah. Case closed. <3

Let Me Sing You A Song About Departures

Insert: Departures ~ Anata ni Okuru Ai no Uta (Guilty Crown ED)

"I will never again receive your love

Nor will I ever be needed

And that is how I find myself all alone 

What was it you told me back then? 

The words that won't reach me danced in the air 

And though I know better, once again today I end up 

Wishing for things that won't come true"

If I am to destroy everything, my happiness will go along with it.
The days I spent with you, the moments we cherished together...
Everything will be gone, but not without a single trace.
Though, what will be left, will be bittersweet...
And wishes will never come true, no matter how much we yearned and worked for them.

If I am to destroy everything, my future might go along with it.
All the promises that we have made, all the ideas we shared with each other...
Even though they're not gone, they will never be the same anymore.
We will eventually work with someone else, someone with different ideas from each other...
Maybe it'll turn better, but maybe it'll turn worse too.

"Don't let me go 

Just squeeze my hand tight 

And tell me we'll go on together 

Your hand in mine was warm 

And gentle"

Deep inside my heart, aside from my rage and angst,
I yearned for forgiveness and chances and acceptance.
But I know no matter how many times you give me those things, 
If I still can't deal with my demon, everything will end up the same.
Again and again and again and again...
We'll end up hurting each other.

"That's how you always anger me 

And make me cry in the end 

But I loved the way 

You looked when you apologized 

Afterwards"

And then we'll try to fix the problems again,
And then we'll apologize to each other again,
And then we'll smile, and it got better again.
Like a pottery that was broke and fixed up with gold,
It brimmed in beauty that none of us know,
Except for the one beside us that we have always known.

But after breaking for so many times,
Even pots have only so much life.
The moment it break, it can never handle another time.
Because to fix it will make it even uglier than before,
As the beauty has lost, and meanings are no more.

"Don't let me go 

Hold me tight, yes, with all your strength 

I want to be in your arms 

We'll fall asleep as we touch our foreheads 

Together"

Holding your hand is a dream that will never happen.
Because I can never hold that delicate hand of yours with tightness.
As I have fear and doubts in myself, not just yours;
That I would crush this thing myself without asking for your thoughts.

I hunger for power and I'm damn ambitious,
Perhaps you're the only one who can feed my ambition,
As you're the one with pure talents,
But I'm nothing but a jack of all asses.

"Did you know that we'll never be able to meet ever again?"

If we are to separate in the future, that might happen?
That I'll feel all the guilt and shame for not being able to continue this,
Without letting my emotions to lead me, and act on behalf of the better good?
That I know that you might not be able to find another one who can confide all your troubles,
But also think that it might be easy for you to find that me-double.

I'm a person of contradicting opinions, where they constantly fight.
But in the end, nobody's right.
However the influence is right there and no matter what I do, it sticks tight.

Still, I know damn right that you might be the only person,
Who I can talk for hours and the topics are endless.
I might have new friends, I may still hunt for new people,
But the person that I would cherish the most is none other than you and only you.

If I have a flower, I'd give it to you at my first thought.
But then I'll think, what does it do?
Will it ruin you? Will it beautify you?
What will the rumors say?

I may have just sullied you.

So I keep the flower, and I'll probably give it to somebody else.
Who won't have any repercussion from the society if I'm the one who gave the flower.
Who... perhaps I do not care as much as you since I really don't care about the consequences-
-well, no offense, but it's true.

"Don't let me go 

Hold me tight; I love you 

Won't you laugh for me just one more time? 

Before your warmth vanishes 

Embrace me"

The sounds of yearning to stay with you bashes through the prison of my heart,
Trying to unshackle itself and wanting to stick close to you.
But I yelled at it, I told it that it will not come true:
"You need help? Well I'm sorry - I won't let you!"

But no matter what it is, I know that I'd hate to see you cry.
Not that you can't cry eternally, but if it's me that made you cry, I'll hate myself forever.
It hurts me a lot, especially the one that's being shackled,
Who will forcefully tear open my heart and kill me from the inside.

I really just want to see you smile.

I want you to make friends, even though I'm jealous at the sight of it.
I want you to be able to be strong to do everything, yet still hope you'll ask me for help.
Sometimes I didn't mention it, but I hoped that you would ask.
Perhaps you think that you're selfish, but I am too, the same as you.

Whatever I have said, they're also true:
Those words that hurt, and also the hurt one's words.
Including the timid one who wished that she just won't be abandoned again,
Including the raged one who wished that you would disappear,
Trying to hide the coward one who wished that SHE'S the one who can disappear.

Yet what should I do? What can I say?
I am indeed lack of a solution.
I have used most potions to heal my wounds,
There's no more cures to mend this poison.
If you have it, or ANYONE that has it, please do tell.
And teach me how to deal with my own hell.

On top (or bottom, since, well, this is the bottom) of all things,
I wished to apologize.
Apologize for the demon inside,
Apologize for the things I couldn't come clean,
Apologize for being late, for being rude, for being insensitive.
Apologize for any future things that I may have done wrong,
Apologize for possible destruction that I could not hold myself off.
Apologize for hurting you in the past, present, and future,
Apologize for forgetting and/or breaking any promises,
Apologize for not listening, not being a good friend, not doing my best...

Well, there's more. More things out there that I might have not thought of it.

But there's one, the most important one of all:
I apologize for the possibility of not being able to walk down the battlefield with you.

That will be my greatest regret if it happen in the future.



PS: I apologize for, uh, trying to rhyme because it's a bad bad habit of mine <w<

Lashing Everything Out Because I Fucking Can

Insert: Kyoukara Omoide (by Aimer)

It'll... never be fine. Each time the rift started, it got worse and worse. Nothing's probably able to heal this unless I let this shit go away.

And how to let it go away? I have totally no idea.

We don't like it - nobody likes it. It hurts people and it hurts me.

That's why I choose to destroy... but apparently someone from Neutral Good came and stop me from causing more destruction.

It's not that whatever she said don't make sense, or I don't understand, alright?
I understand, ALL of them, but I still don't... get it.
Like.
I get it logically, but this ain't something you can simply sing a four minutes of "Let It Go" and everything will became magically beautiful and you just happened to become a powerful queen.

It's... not like that.

You understand the concept, you understand the theory, but to do it practically, it's a totally different thing.

I can't seemed to get it.

I can't seemed to do it.

But this is even worse: I don't even know what's the first step. I only know everything in the middle but I'm... probably not willing to take the first step. Am I afraid of letting it go? Why am I afraid? These are probably the questions that only I can answer... but if not, then what? What's the thing that's shackling me? What's the thing that made me have to continue it no matter what?

WHY this thing had to keep on bothering me?

Perhaps it's a curse since I've hurt many other people, that I'll forever be tormented by this shit... but nothing last forever, alright? She gave me an advice on it, but then what? Was it that I don't want to take it? No, it's that I've already KNEW what's the advice going to be... and I can't take it. My hand went over but it burn it away because I KNOW that I can't do it.

Hence... I'll hide behind the books.

I don't care, alright? I'm a coward, alright? I don't want to face it, I just want to forget about it. So the EASIEST WAY is to not see each other and not see whatever. But that's gonna hurt the other person BUT THEN WHAT?!

WHAT CAN I DO???

I can't... do anything.

I have no solution for this.

You think I don't want this to be over? How many times did I try to convince myself that yes I let it go but NO. NO. IT DOESN'T. FOR SOME REASON IT DOESN'T AND IT JUST KEPT ON COMING BACK WITHOUT A REASON THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND.

I tried making new friends - that didn't work.
I tried to be cynical - that didn't work too.
I tried so hard but everywhere I go I can't shrug off the fact that THAT'S THE THING THAT I WANTED FOR SO LONG but I can NEVER get my hands on it.

That's how it is.

That's why I don't want to see it.

Now what if I continue this, huh? What if?
We'll just be getting hurt again and again and again and again and there's NO SOLUTION.

NO.

BECAUSE I CAN'T.

I FUCKING CAN'T.

I'M A FUCKING CUNT THAT CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.

I'm crying so bad that I have no idea how to deal with this whole shit and DO YOU THINK I WANT IT?

No.

I don't want it.

Maybe my body likes it but I personally don't.

It makes me so fucking weak.

I can't show this face to ANYONE alright?

So I'm gonna hurt everything at once and just disappear from this place like how I used to. Like how it SHOULD be. I'll escape from everything.

But it won't change the fact that it happened, obviously.

Or we can choose to ignore it. And then let it happened again THEN ignore it again. Again and again. What good it makes? None.

None, I tell you.

None.

But hey, think of it. If I destroy everything beyond repair, you can always create a new one right? Just not with this pile of junk anymore, right? STOP REPAIRING IT. JUST LET IT DIE. WHY ARE YOU REPAIRING IT?!

WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD TO REPAIR IT???

Like what happened to the previous 2 - just abandon me already. Just kill me already. Just let me find something else, someone else, that won't hurt me and I won't hurt them. Gimme something that I could trust, gimme something that I know it'll somehow work and last - even for a while. At least then the strained feelings will be "faded away", and I could always find a new one.

NOT LIKE THIS.

NOT FOR YOU TRYING TO REPAIR WHATEVER'S LEFT OF THIS FUCKING SHIT.

IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT, ALRIGHT?!

IT DOESN'T.

What do I want? I want love. Love that you can NEVER give it to me.

But what's the most important thing? I want companionship and understanding, something we thought we can give to each other, but no...

We can't.

You're the one that seemed like you only want something funny and something happy, and that's... all you want. You can just let go of everything bad so... easily, and that seemed like the only thing that you've done. Maybe I'm hard to please maybe I'm stupid maybe I just don't understand what's good that you're trying to give to me because I don't want it. Not that. I'm picky. I'm childish. Whatever you want to call me alright? Whatever.

I just can't bothered to care about it anymore.

We don't... understand each other.

We don't.

We thought we do, but we don't. Really.

You thought that's what I would've want, and I thought that's what you would've wanted too. We can't give each other what we both really want, honestly.

And what I want? You will never know.

Because I won't want anything from you anymore.
It's damn... tiring.
I really... really... just want to let go.

Somehow, deep inside, I wished that I never knew you.
I wished that you never existed in the first place.
I wished that you never entered my life in the first place.
Because if it's going to be this painful, then why should I want all of these in the first place?

This is not some stupid melodrama of something like "I like you you like me we're happy family the end" cuz that's not how life works.

I'm envious of those that could find their dream partner.
No. I'm envious of those who could actually date someone, then let go of that same someone because they finally realized that it's not gonna work, they're better off being friends, and their patience with each other have already ran out and stuffs.

It makes giving up so fucking easy.
It makes letting go so fucking easy.
It makes disappearing so fucking easy too.

But no. We decided to become friends! I've fall for you, you didn't like me back the same way, but you like me a whole lot as a friend. If that's not torturing, I don't know what is man.

I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of keeping up promises that seemed to torture us even further. I'm tired of arguing and trying to prove each other right and wrong. I'm tired of having to clash our opinions on so many ways that I cannot admit that I disliked that part of you and yet I couldn't say it out because it's unfair to you. I'm tired of having to clarify myself each time this happened. I'm tired to talking to you about these kind of things. I'm tired of finding happiness from you. I'm tired of being unfair to both of us because of all these little things that we just couldn't solve-

I'm tired.

So tired.

Of having the need to pretend that nothing happened, everything will go right, and none of the things can matter to us if we turn a blind eye over it.

It... doesn't work this way, alright?

Like you said, it's bound to happen again, too.
Our opinions will once clash, we will became strangers with each other once again, and we will have weird arguments that're based on misunderstanding and miscommunication.
And then? Are we gonna solve it and try to repair it again?

Let me tell you something: Some of the things, no matter how much you have repaired it, it's still there. Even though physically you did not abandon me in the end, verbally you already have. It cuts deep. And I know the same thing happened to you too - even though it's the other way round or something.

It's just so unfair whatever all of these just happened, alright?

It's none of our faults. We're just hoping for another's good. We don't tell each other our good wills. We just forced whatever we thought that's good for each other.

I had enough.

It's so... unfair to each other.

So unfair.

*sigh*

I post this here, hoping that you will not see it.
Hoping that you're not that daring enough to search until this extend.
Hoping that nobody showed you this.
Hoping that none of this is known to you because it'll hurt you (probably; idk)...

...but what if this is what we need?

I don't know. Let fate decide what'll happen.
I'm too tired to care about all of these.
Too tired to smile with you.

Too tired.

To do.

Anything.

I have no solutions to everything anyway *laughs*

What is "peace", actually?

Insert: AlieZ (Aldnoah Zero ED)

What is humans?
Why is it humans?
Why NOT humans?

There are so many questions regarding humans, compare to the other creatures in this planet called earth.

Why were the humans the ones with intelligence? Capable of creating a civilization, capable of discovering new technologies?

Why is it also humans the ones with moralities? Capable of differentiating what's right and what's wrong, capable of judging another person?

Why do humans fear another human, until the point where they want to destroy another's civilization, cultures, and technologies?

What makes the humans think that they're the top of the world? The ones who ruled the other creatures, and make them submit to them? What exactly makes them different from beasts, who also lived in the world of "Survive of the Fittest"?

Who created currencies? What's the use of currencies? Why not reviving the barter system, that we exchange things that the other people need, instead of basing everything upon money? Then again, another kind of greed will surface... right?

But what happened to compassion? What happened to morality? Who's the first one who decided that it's alright to bang any woman to reproduce? And who's the first one who decided that it's NOT ALRIGHT to rape women? Why that happened? Why did the morality changed? Why they judge differently from countries to countries? Why some view it shame, and some view it proud?

What really made us different from animals?

Honestly, I don't think so. Animals are part of nature - looking at them, you can think of us. If it was the lions who gained intelligence instead, wouldn't they one day became... like us? Having to know what's morality, having to know how to judge another? Like Zootopia - that's a world where all animals gained their intelligence. Was it so different from our current world? They have people of all races, all sizes, all kind of thoughts...

Stereotyping wasn't the only thing that could happen to humans.

Now, what is world peace?

No wars? No combats? No battles? No bloodshed?

What about mental battles?

Winning/Losing an argument? Backstabbing? Blackmails?

Those have nothing to do with bloodshed, but was it peaceful enough?

Was "no fighting" the only peace that we're looking for?

What about "economy" battles?

The winners will be rich, the losers will be poor... and soon be kicked out of their normal lives and have to live miserably.

Was that part of "peace" as well?

What is peace, actually?



= = = = = = = = = =



I don't like mind games, yet I can't get away from it.
People will hurt from mind games, no matter how much they thought that "being on the line between yes and no will be the least hurtful".
I'll tell you fucking WHAT.

Telling the truth is hurtful - yes - but it CAN make a person to improve!
Telling lies... and then what? Give that to a person that thinks a lot, what do you think can happen? They will believe you? Or they will think about worse things behind your words?

You guys... don't get it at all.

I don't get it either.

Why does humans LOVE to be dishonest with their actual thoughts?

Why do they like to make fun of another person?

Why they do this?

I just... *sigh*

Wtf humans :/



= = = = = = = = = =



Then again, no matter how much I came to find humans are supposed to be hated...
I still can't understand how does "animal lovers" think.
Yes, they're always honest - sure, whatever - but wtf are you getting fired up about dogs getting eaten and fucking beaten?

What about those humans that got eaten and fucking beaten, too?

Because dogs are loyal to humans? If so, WHY are they fucking loyal to humans? Not other animals? Was it because they're plainly stupid? Like, why the fuck dogs love humans so much I don't get it.

Humans were the ones who betrayed their loyalties as well. So why the fuck dogs were still loyal to humans? Was it because that's their... jobs, destiny, or whatnot? Or was that karma? To repay "your kindness"? Or to repay their sins?

*shrugs*

And cats too. If you fucking want to stop dogs from being eaten, please stop humans to eat other living creatures as well. Why only dogs? Why not snakes too? Why not deers? Why do you still want to hunt down deers for fucking placentas?

Why the fuck only dogs?!

WHY ONLY COMPASSIONATE FOR FUCKING DOGS?!

WHY NOT FUCKING DEERS?! TREES?! SNAKES?! BEARS?! COWS?! OTHER BEINGS?!

What's your fucking REASON?

"Dogs are the companions of humans" HOW DO YOU KNOW?!

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF DOGS WILL NEVER HURT HUMANS?!

And how do you know if a monkey will? Or a cat will? Or a bear, a snake, a deer, a COW?

WHAT HAS DEERS AND COWS DONE TO YOU GUYS?!

WHY CAN'T THEY BE FORGIVEN AS DOGS?!

Haven't the cows supply you with milks? Haven't the chickens supply you with eggs?

WHY EAT THEM?!

"Because they're delicious" THEN WHY NOT DOGS?!

Because they're the most popular pets?

What about hamsters? Rabbits? Horse? Cats?

There's no such thing as "fairness" in the world of humans, and their moralities.
Of course, there's no way that everyone will feel the same way as another does.

But I must say - the reason why dogs were so being protected is because they're MOSTLY the pets of other people. Then I ask you dogmeat sellers...

Why the fuck do you think that taking another person's child (pet) without permission is allowed? Summore you EAT THEM.

Now think about your CHILDREN holyshit.

YOUR OWN FUCKING CHILDREN.

OI. IF SOMEBODY CAME RAMMING INTO YOUR HOUSE AND TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO KILL or worse: MAKAN - HOW?!

You can't say "IT'S A HUMAN. IT'S DIFFERENT" well what the fuck is different?
Both are each other's TREASURES. You STEAL another's treasure... and ATE THEM.

Tell me what the fuck's different?

There are dogs that lived happily, with great masters.
There are dogs that lived poorly, with bastards.

What's different from humans, then?

There are humans that lived happily, with loving friends, families, and great chances.
There are humans that lived poorly, with fake friends, hateful families, and horrible chances.

There are dogs who can be loyal to humans, and we put them into the limelight.
But there are also humans who can be loyal to ANOTHER human as well... we just treat that as "it should have been like this".

If you want like, TOTAL FAIRNESS, please don't just say no to ONLY dogmeats. Say no to other-meats, too.

ESPECIALLY SHARKS.

SHARKS EAT HUMANS - YES - BUT YOU HUNT MORE SHARKS THAN SHARKS HUNT FOR HUMANS. FOOLS.

YOU FOOLS.

AND TIGERS.

Tigers eat humans YES BUT YOU FUCKING HUNT THEM MORE THAN THEY HUNT YOU.

Then there's rhinos.

WTF RHINOS DONE TO YOU?! BECAUSE THEIR HORNS ARE BEAUTIFUL!? THAT'S ALL?! THAT'S WHY YOU DO THAT?! WTF HUMANS.

Yeah. "Survival of the fittest".

I really don't see a difference of humans and animals. Really.
Except for intelligence, I really don't see any.

We're all fucking animals. :/

Deal with it.