Unsolved Problems...

Insert Song: Toxic [GLEE cover]

Yes, I have a lot of unsolved problems.

1. My composition... it's still undone.

2. My arts... still undone.

3. My family... tensions still going on here and there.

4. My money... Borrowed too much and forget who owes me.

5. My friends... I'm not even sure if they're my friends.

6. My love... Is still unsolved.

Mainly, here, I'm going to talk about my love life.

Holymama, I actually decided to talk about it so openly?

Well, not of all the details, of course.

===

Just like every other teenagers, I have a love problem.

As the others may encounter problems like:

Betrayal, third person, cheated, fooled around, etc...

Mine is... a little bit different.

Though most of you all might encounter a very similar situation as I am.

First of all... Are we even together?

I'm not quite sure.

All I remembered is that I confessed, then received something like a rejection...

Though not entirely, just say that someone needs to think and we can still be friends...

Then patiently... or when hopes turned into despair...

I received an answer, after one whole month.

And the answer is, "I think I can be with you."

Okay, so someone thinks that we can be together.

But are we?

We hardly even cuddled that much, neither we did much things as lovers.

Heck, we didn't even kiss for goddess' sake.

And... the so-called relationship only last for, what I say, two weeks?

And then, everything are down to the drain.

No more affections, no more being together.

We walk our own paths, and that's all.

I did try to make things better, but it's not accepted at all.

Perhaps the timing wasn't correct, since it's SPM time.

Still, there's no saying about "breaking up" or whatsoever.

There's only silence.

And hell, I really hated silence.

===

It's an unresolved love tension.

I can proudly, and sadly, say that I'm still in love with this someone.

And I'm not sure if I'm thinking too much...

I can feel some hints that someone is still attracted to me.

But in reality, is it?

I'm not sure at all.

And if you still don't get it yet, SPM year is like, 2 years ago.

Means that this tension has been going for two years.

Or even more.

So should I solve this problem, or should I not?

It would definitely break something between us, my friend said.

Am I willing to risk a friendship for this stupid thing?

Something like, breaking up?

Wait, does that someone even THINK that we're still together?

*rollseyes*

Well, I can say one thing...

Something had definitely broken between us.

I don't mind if I break it into pieces.

Even if it hurts, I don't want to feel the poison hurting me everyday.

Might as well kill myself than acting strong to face the poison.

Even if you heal me bits by bits, I will still suffer the poison.

Unless someone get me an antidote.

Which is unlikely.

So I would kill myself, and be revived without any status ailments in my body.

So that I can continue my journey without worrying anything else.

Of course, if I'm able to forget the pain that inflicted me.

===

But to be honest with everyone who reads this...

I really, really, wished to see that someone 2 years ago...

Before every calamity dwelled upon us.

And if I am given a chance again...

I would throw away everything else and kiss that someone.

Even if I were going to be slashed and killed, I have no more regrets.

At least... I would be able to taste how an intoxicating kiss taste like.

At least, I wouldn't feel so much doubt about everything now.

At least...

I don't want to end up like Coach Beast from GLEE who've NEVER be kissed before.

Which is a DISASTER! =A=

But I never had the courage to begin with...

Oh well...

===

Anyways, I need some opinion.

Should I be a face-less person and confront that someone regarding this matter?

Or should I stay how I am and let it be how it is?