Is it better this way?

Insert: What the Hell [by Avril Lavigne]

Note: Originally, I was going to write a blog... but somehow, they became lyrics Owo
Note2: Yes, they're clashing with each other... because that's exactly how I feel now.
Note3: Yeap, if you noticed, they're only half of the truth, and some of them are lies. But I'm mainly retelling what I've heard and encountered in my life.

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[Verse 1]
Is it better if I don't say anything at all?
Is it better if I don't do anything at all?
Or is it better if I just do whatever I wanted,
Care less about the consequences?

Is it better to agree with something that I don't?
Is it better to not be myself?
Or is it better to defy the whole world,
As long as I feel okay with it?

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I hate your voice, I hate your clothes,
I like this style, I like this art,
I love your manner, I love your choices,
I hate myself, I hate the whole world!

[Chorus]
Is it better this way?
Is it better to walk on the different path?
Or is it better that way?
Is it better to continue my chosen path?

Do you understand me?
Whatever I said I rant I cried
Do you agree with me?
If you don't you better shut up now!

'cause I wanna be me
'cause I wanna be free
But I wanna be anything but my own self

I'm so confused
I'm so upset
The way the whole world disagreed with me

[Verse 2 / Rap???]
So what you say that heavy metal is alright
So what I say that if classical is my style
So what you say that the drums are kinda harsh
So what I say that if I hate all the voice you cried?

So what you say that you don't like whatever I dressed
So what I say that I don't like being a lady that I'm not
So what you say that I don't suit to be some musician
So what I say that you don't suit to be some human

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I like your skills, I like your hair,
I hate this art, I hate this song,
I hate this man, I hate that girl,
I love myself, I love all kinds of shit that I don't!

[Chorus 2]
Is it better this way?
Is it better to say and explain what I feel?
Or is it better that way?
Is it better to say something that I don't really mean?

Do I understand you?
How you rant and scream and cry into my ears
Do I agree with you?
If it makes you feel so much better I'll say "yes" to you

'cause you want me to be
'cause you want to feel good
But you want me to be nothing but myself

You're so confused
You're so upset
The way I disagree with the whole world

[Bridge]
I... I'm afraid...
I'm afraid that I am alone
I'm afraid that I have no friends

Why... Why must I afraid?
I have nothing to begin with
I have nothing to lose and I... I... I...!

[Chorus 3]
Is it better this way?
Is it better to leave everything behind?
Is it better this way?
Is it better to lose everything I am I find?

Or is it better that way?
Is it better to be anything but myself?
Seriously, is it better that way?
Is it better to wear a mask for my whole life?

Do you understand me?
Whatever I scream I wrote and I cried?
Do you understand me?
The feeling I feel deep inside?

Have you listen to me?
Have you even try to understand what I cried!
Have you walk out from that little box,
Or I'm the one who need to walk out from here?

'cause I'm so self-centered
'cause I'm so outrageous
'cause I just wanna be who I truly am

But I'm losing myself
But I don't feel like myself
And I even start to hate myself

Is this how the world wants me to be

[Ending (Verse)]
Is it better if I don't say anything at all?
Is it better if I don't do anything at all?



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Originally, I have inspiration how this song would be like when I wrote down the lyrics/feelings, but...

DAMN MY MEMORIES!!! QAQ
I forgot to record them them.
FML OTL||||||