Of impatience and Game of Reality

Insert Song: Fed Up [by Nakashima Mika]

The first time in March that I write a blog... if I'm correct.

What on earth to write? Honestly, I don't know.

Well, every time I have something it's always about my daily ramblings.

But that's how everyone types their blogs, no?

It's always about how you feel.

And normally how I feel these days, is that there's a lot of annoy and frustrations going on here and there.

Happiness stays the same like it's always been, since they don't increase neither does they decrease.

Still, it's pretty annoying when it comes to things that I remembered, are nothing happy but angers.

Thoughts of wicked revenge are in my mind, where normally I didn't have it this vivid, at least not towards close friends.

Perhaps it's because I feel more and more unsafe to trust them any longer.

And of course, I'm in no worries to let them know the fact of what I truly feel.

But seriously, dealing with me is a very easy thing.

If you cooperate with me, I shall cooperate with you.

If you don't cooperate with me, then there's no point for me to cooperate with you.

If you're late, then I shall be late, although that never happened to me until this point of my life.

If you want to do it during the last minute, sure, no problem, then I shall do the same and you shan't expect much from me. Though the disappointment that I had gathered from you are more than I expected it to be.

And these disappointment had driven me mad, torn between whether I should just screw this damn thing at all, much care less about the result. I mean, the result of this thing wasn't only mine, it's yours too. I have the power to whether hand this in or rip it off. Apparently the believe of my own trust and my pride did not let this to happen. However, the idea has formed. I might not do it now, but if it happened the second time, I shall let it happen.

Revenge is bitter, but sweet, like a dark chocolate.

Your suffering might not be good to anyone at all, but that is to teach you a lesson, for not cooperating with my instructions. I said this, and you should just listen and do it, because I said it for the best of everyone. But you're the one that's letting me down. First time, and the last time. And if you who had failed me thousands of time, this is the last time that I'm going to tolerate you. Anything happens, you're on your own.

And I never should have trusted you.

Never.

===

This scar that's carved deep in my heart is also why I chose solo over group works, alone than being with friends. Perhaps the next time of any kind of events, I shall go solo, or nothing at all. Hell, perhaps I shall scrap the whole thing at all. After all, decisions are all in my hand. No one shall be able to interfere, since you're not my whoever. And no, my mom can't decide on me as well.

It's not like I don't have the power or the actual cunningness to deal with the kinds of you, it's whether if you worth of my time for troubling at you. Of course, no one had that great impact on me, not yet. But it's certainly building and my impatience is on it's limit. Soon, I'm going to explode, and whoever that's around me shall beware of this odd time bomb that's always in a weird fuse.

I have yet to yell at anyone during this point, but it's without doubt that my true violence nature is slowly leaking out. Of course, the older friends of mine have already known of my temper, but that's not the end of it. It seemed to evolved into a new kind of temper as it faces much different situation and people. Perhaps this new temper would be a good change, for appearances, or a bad change, for one's self. Since this temper, maybe, will descend into a volcano that you would never know when it'll explode. It will grumble, oh sure it will, but it has yet to explode.

The more disappointments that I received, the shorter the time for it to explode.

===

Being alone, for like, one year? Had really make me thought of a lot of things.

Surely, if there's a healing point beside you, it's always better. But you can always find a healing orb somewhere else, especially if you found a treasure box or defeat some monsters. Everything in the world are nothing but temporary views. You might have a healing point beside you, but you never know when it'll dry up. and who knows if that healing point is containing some sort of virus or poison, that instead of healing you up, it's going to attack you with various status effects? So find other sources to your HP. Don't just wait for it to come, it wouldn't heal you through time. Of course, if you have items that could heal you through times, it's always the best, but it wouldn't save you during boss fights.

Don't understand my terms of RPG in real life? Well, rethink again. They're actually much related despite parents always said that games are useless. Actually, no. When you come to think about it, games are very much related to real life. People can even relate DoTA with getting a girl (or a guy), which I do not understand how on earth did that person thought something as creative as this.

===

And so, with all the healing jars and monsters to beat with, I do not feel sad with the lack of healing point beside me. Oh, always save your game until one point, by the way, or you will lose some of your things when you're defeated by a monster. But the game of reality is different somehow. Once you really died, you died. Not even a saving point can revive you, and you definitely won't be able to repeat your life. You can always defeat the monster again and again when you're defeated, but if you died against the boss, you will die forever, and your saving shall be deleted.

Though, if you're very high in level and your fame is high, and have a great map to a treasure box, you shall be remembered by the rest of the warriors in the world, who continue your adventure. If you plan to be such a great man to be able to be remembered, live your best and do a lot of deeds, increase your fame, and defeat a lot of monsters. And of course, set your course correctly, mark your map, and when you died, people will still be able to solve the unsolved puzzle that you left behind.

===

I am suuuure bored to be able to type this nonsense in my blog. Oh well...