For Her Sake

Insert: 4 Real (by Avril Lavigne)

I guess... I really should make a choice by now.
Whether I should leave her, or just stay by her side.
But really, what I really wanted was just...
I just want her to be happy.
I want to give her my best and help to shape her into the best.
So if she really rejected my feelings, I would still gladly stay by her side to see her being happy.
Or maybe... until she doesn't need me anymore.
Until she can finally stand on her own.

After hearing to all different point of views,
A lot of them said that there's a chance in this;
Even my heart told me that too.
But...

Somehow, at the same time, I knew that it might not work out.
After all, maybe she really just view me as her master, and nothing else.
When that really happened, when she finally thought of that and told me that's her answer,
I guess I really would just... you know, smile and try to make her happy again...
I mean, like, how it was, you know?

So if she wished for me to stay by her side, I would gladly do so...
But I hope whatever she do really will not disappoint me.
'cause if she really did that, I would be very angry.
Very.
Like, when she decided not to tell me that she's taking composition.
I AM angry, because she doesn't trust me.
She thinks I would laugh at it, but I certainly will not because of some stupid reasons!
I will laugh, because I think it's very good.
I will smile, because I can't hold back my feelings of proudness of her.
But I would never look down on her just because she's doing this.
She's doing something great, and she really should know it.

Really.

I would help her out, but sometimes I really think that I did a little bit too much.
Will whatever that I'm doing make her to go down someday?
I feared to talk for her, even though I really wanted to do so.
I feared to do stuffs for her, because I know the consequences might not be good.
I should control myself not to be too overpowering her, and let her do what she wants instead.
Suggestions are good, helping her to improve is good, but...
I guess I should stop... interfering with her. -sigh-

But really, am I doing her good? Or I'm just dragging her down?
Honestly, did I really teach her anything?
I don't know. I really don't know.

I'm not sure if my presence is something that she should be glad to have.

-sigh-

Again, I just hope for her best.
If I am not the best for her, of course I should leave.
And maybe I would.
For her sake.