Swallows

Insert: Hemisphere [by Sakamoto Maaya]


Do you know how hard it was to swallow:
1) The bitter comments
2) The bitter thoughts
3) The bitter talks
4) Accusations


And I really disliked them.


Insults are always better than all of those, and they're the easiest to swallow.
Because insults happened everywhere, and everyone had their own hate.
Insults happened when its mostly true, too.


But accusations AREN'T.


They're accusations, they're fake implications on oneself.
As someone who honored truth in personalities, I feel deeply hurt by accusations.

You can insult me of being fat, lazy and useless in your own way; comment on my love for something that you think is stupid and meaningless; and talked about how sad your life or my life is and it's impossible to make them happen in a good way...


But to accuse me in eating all the foods in the fridge while I did not do so, is a HUGE offense.
I will FIGHT you 'til death to prove my own innocence, even though how I am MIGHT have a possibility in causing that.
However, it's the truth that I did not do that.


So NO.

= = =

This little simple sentence that makes me SO HARD to swallow, breaks my mood into pieces and I can immediately lose all senses to do normal things. So badly that I would break my drums, my PC, and my phone... if I can say "FUCK YOU" at the consequences. So of course, I thought about all of them, and swallowed all those destructive side of me down.


Have you ever considered how hard was that?


And they said that Aries easily gain heartattacks and whatsoever-strokes, I can fully connect myself towards that. They die because people angered them too much while they fully released their anger without control; I die because I control my anger.


Because one Aries does not simply ignore the angers.


They convert them into something else... and for most of the people, they work on things that they normally won't do, or wished to do for a long time, or simply do those stuffs that requires a huge load of energy, so that they can vent on.


Me?


I would hit on my drums, but that would my neighbors to file a lawsuit against me.
So I chose to vent on words.


If there's no words for me to do that at the moment...


Expect me to kick my chair and flip it upside-down, throw my phone or whatsoever.
But, if you can't call my phone at the moment, please do expect the worse.
Because I'll always prepare a back-up before I do that, since I know it's fragile.
Chair, however, isn't. And they're cheap. So yeah.


But I DO like the sound of destruction.


Because...

FUCK YOU.

Of course, I can't say that in public, so I'll just swallow them, and increase the meter...










But now, I just want to indulge myself in heartbreaking musics.