Of K-On and Reality...

Insert: On My Own / Turning Tables / Get It Right [GLEE]

I love you K-On.

So much that I need to create a blog post just to talk about how much I love you.

I love your humors, I love your songs, I love your characters.

Yet again, it was because of all of these I hate you.

There's no such humor happening around me right now,

There's no such skill within me that I can hit those songs with perfection,

There's no such humans with the exact characteristics that I wanted beside me.

However, K-On, you're the only joy that makes me love what I loved right now,

All the humors, the joy of music, and hanging out with my dear friends...

Sadly, they're not exactly like K-On...

...and that's of course, impossible, since Anime and Real Life never crossed.

= = = = = = = = = =

After watching the K-On!! Come With Me Live Concert mkv file...

...which, freaking lagged at most parts :\

I have the urge to re-download the whole friggin' thing once again... but that's not the point.

When I'm watching it, I feel so joyful and hyper regarding all that happened within,

And I'm touched by all those scenes that made me wanna cry -

They're performing as if it's their last time...

Even though they're playing a friggin' happy song, it made me wanna cry.

But of course, I kind of wanted to watch this with Kou,

Therefore I only clicked on the center to check...manatau, hahaha. =v=;;;

Ending up watching almost the whole later half... OTL|||

But I haven't watched the beginning yet, and the lags in within really bugged me. =x=

How dare they lagged on Death Devil's part?! DDDDDD<

*cough* Anyway, I loved so far how much I watched it...

And the full thing is like, almost four HOURS. D8!!!

It'll take me a friggin' long time to finish it... hmm.

"On my own, pretending you're beside me..."

Main point: When I finished it...

After the long while of hyperness and joys that I got from this video...

I'm, depressed.

On how much it is different from real life...

There will never be people be bonded as much as they do.

We might be so friendly and our relationship is tight, right now...

But after some while, people would change and things happened.

Then, the bond will loosen.

And then, it'll snap.

And dead.

Our relationships be.

I would dare to say that I have no such a close friend beside me right now.

Friends in the college, friends in cosplay, friends in the past...

All of them were nothing but strangers, acquaintances.

Even if we're so close during one time, we'll just walk our path after that.

Everyone would walk their own path.

Everyone has their own ideals.

Everyone has their own future worlds.

No one would be the same as you are.

And you will meet new people, continue finding your place in this earth you called home...

...or hoped to call home.

And so, everyone is alone, despite how many friends they called or how many family they had.

Nothing will ever let you feel you have someone beside you.

Nothing.

Because they will still leave you, someday in the future.

No one will get such a luck and chances like those characters in K-On...

Best friends since they're young, meet new people during highschool,

Studying in the same college after everyone graduated...

Even though their ideals are different...

Who, can achieve such bond?

In this world we called "Real Life"?

I'd say - nobody.

= = = = = = = = = =

From my own past...

During primary school, I've known and forgotten a lot of people,

Because my class is always changing.

1U, 2G, 3C, 4C, 5R, 6R.

Two years, for a kid, can never be enough for true friendship to bloom and bond.

The most we can be, are good friends, but mostly we're just acquaintance.

If I really need to name one, it'll be Tako.

Even until now, we still... kind of talk with each other.

Still, there's so much we lost and missed.

Then, middle school.

1B, 2C, 3C, 4E1, 5E1.

Thanks to the trait I carried from my primary school, I'm assigned to a "special seat".

I'm not changing, and those that changes were only the people sitting beside me.

Whom I gained as a best friend, throughout these years?

1B? None. 2C? None. 3C? Not really.

Then, there's 4E1.

It's a whole new class. Faces that I knew and don't.

But then, those were the faces I would face for two consecutive years.

I started to learn about them, yet, they weren't anyone that I can call close friends.

Not at all.

After 16 years, there's still none.

Even when I joined the Drama Team, it's somehow for fun to me.

Well, I must say, I had fun, but I'm not really that serious.

Because I have no real roles in the team.

I'm just a person who made those Special Effects.

Nothing much. :\

Then, Form Five...

I met people, formed a Japanese Club.

One of them is Kou, and he remained as my first ever best friend up 'till now.

The other? *smirks* To be honest, I don't know what should I call that right now.

Too much disappointments. I'd say.

And I thought that it'll be back to the past - that's what she hoped for.

But then, it'll be impossible, since things had changed.

There's nothing that I can do to revert myself to the past and face her the same way as I did in Form Five.

I don't even hope for the change to happen, too.

Even wishing on the shooting star doesn't make it happen.

For two years I've been waiting, yet nothing happened.

It's okay. I've gave up on that.

Oh, and the owl? It serves no purpose right now.

And it's cheap anyway - RM10. Yeah.

I might have thrown it away if it wasn't because of its beauty.

"God knows what I'm fighting for..."

Kou?

He did not change from how I knew him since the beginning -

As depressing as always.

Nothing can cure its depressions.

Not even a loving man or a caring woman can cure this sickness of his.

Forever and unending.

Proud to say this bad thing: I gave up on that as well.

Oh yes, I gave up in a lot of stuffs.

Let's see...

I gave up on playing the piano.

I gave up on getting as slim as an athlete.

I gave up on cosplay like the pros could.

I gave up on hoping my family would leave me alone.

I gave up on miracles in group works.

I gave up on a lot of people - love-interest, friends, and comrades related.

I gave up on finding love.

I gave up on becoming a good drummer.

I gave up on singing professionally.

I gave up on RP-ing... then came back because I missed it.

I gave up on becoming a better person.

The only thing that I couldn't give up on is to continue living, and continue dreaming.

"What can you do when your good isn't good enough,

All that you touch tumbles down?"

= = = = = = = = = =

Playing games is just a way to escape from real life.

Because in games, you can start all over again.

Because in games, there's walkthrough and guides.

Because in games, there's something call "quit game" or "game over".

If only life is so simple and so easy...

If only we can quit the game whenever we're tired with it...

If only...

= = = = = = = = = =

It's been a while since I typed my blog...

I'm surprised at how much depression I had in my life,

Yet I don't look like one that face depression.

And I certainly don't sound like that in my blog as well. *smirks*

Why, of course, I had nothing towards depression.

And they... aren't really depressions.

Or rather, I'm just trying to turn them into depression, or turn depression into something lighter.

Ah, well, who would care much about this anyway? *shrugs*

After all, even though one's in love with you, they wouldn't go and know you thoroughly inside out.

They have something better to bother about, anyway. *grins*

Don't you, my dear readers? ;3

Lessons Learned. Today. OTL|||

Insert: Party Rock Anthem [by LMFAO]

Ah, good days with my mom NOT around...

I feel happier |DDD

Even mistakes and ouchies can be happy, as long as my mom's not around |DDD

Though, happy days are bound to end soon.

My mom's coming back tomorrow. .w.

Ohwell, until then... I SHALL HAVE FULL FUNSSSSS!!! 8DDDDDDDD

Anyway, I fall in love with the song Party Rock Anthem and tried to shuffle... but I failed LOL!

...

...

...wait, that's not my purpose in writing a blog today. OTL|||

===

So, today's dinner: Curry Soup Maggi Mee.

With egg.

Because I'm not the one cooking, so I'm not proud with it LOL!

But still, it's one of my favorite. |D

However, there's no vege.

Hmm.

Search... search... search... I remember there's seaweeds around here... search...

AHA! WAKAME!

It's not the normal seaweed I ate, but... it works the same~ Right? 8DDD

Check expiry date... okay. 2013. Still edible. |D

Tear it open. Popping it out.

...

...

...

So small. Is it enough? Hmm. -pops more in-

-looks at the full bowl of wakame on top of the noodles-

Okay~ This should be enough--- wait.

Something's not right.

-checks the manual behind the packet-

"Soak it for 3 - 5 miutes, weight and size will increase in 15 times."

Soak: 3 - 5 minutes.

3 - 5 minutes.

Three to fifteen minutes.

-looks at the bowl- ...ha...hahaha... Oh great.

Soak la you, soak la.

Soak.

-went back to the packet, rereads-

INCREASE IN 15 TIMES.

...

...

...

-looks at the bowl again-

...

...

...you know what? Screw it. -EATS THE NOODLES + WAKAME-

OMFG.

WHY SHO SHWEET.

YOU ADA ADD SUGAR KE YOU STUPID WAKAME?! =A=!?

-checks-

-no sights of sugars added-

WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!? ORIGINAL GOT SHO SHWEET DE MEH?!

Is it because I added too much...?

Oh shizzles.

-eats... and laughs at my stupidity-

Ah, hao tian ohhhhh....... TvT;;;;;;

===

So next time, dear readers...

Take note of this lessons that I learned today:

1. Do not be greedy... if you want to be greedy then;

2. Please read the manuals. Even if they're foods.

So that you will not suffer. -bows-

Rants.

Insert: Raise Your Glass [by The Warblers in GLEE]

I don't deserve to rant.

Why?

My family treats me too well for me to rant.

They give what I want and what I don't want.

They don't have arguments or divorce problems.

They love each other too well.

They take care of me, like, overprotective.

They love me but I'm the only one that doesn't feel it.

So yeah, I don't deserve to rant.

Whenever people were talking regarding their families,

They always have major problems (my closest friends, not those dumb strangers...)

Like, divorce, siblings causing troubles, being abused, blah blah blah.

Me?

I have no sorts of things happened like that in my life.

I'm far too lucky.

Compare to them.

Still.

I wished to change my life with them.

Oh yes, that's one kind of a twisted thought I had.

And for such a long time.

Or maybe I watched too much animations that it somehow altered my mind.

Whatever.

Still.

I wanted to change my life with them.

Because that would somehow make me feel stronger, I think.

Rather than being stuck in this cage, being protected and loved...

I don't know, I just... don't like my family.

I don't deserve to NOT like them, because that's how people want theirs to be, but...

I really, REALLY, want to change my life with them.

You want my keyboard? Sure, have it.

You want my laptop? Sure, have it.

You want my money you want my life you want my parents you want my family?

Sure. HAVE IT.

I want to get rid of them, and be independent.

I felt like being pampered too much by them to be independent.

Of course, all the cause is because I'm too lazy and everything - still.

Can I have my life to be switched with you?

You want the fames, you want the flames, get it.

I really don't mind giving up in all of those so that I can live alone INDEPENDENTLY.

Oh yes, I really hate myself.

Because despite I had SOOOOO much things that people wanted to have:

Love, money, life, school life, parents, loving family, whatevernot...

I have ALL of them.

Yes, I can... not proudly, but honestly tell you, that I have ALL of them.

But I'm not satisfied.

Not the love they gave is not enough, not the money not the life not EVERYTHING.

They gave me EVERYTHING, and perhaps it's TOO MUCH for me to even FEEL a thing.

I dislike this.

I dislike the ME I've been raised.

I dislike myself.

Oh yes, I do.

That's why sometimes, when I said that I'm in love with someone...

I can understand why I'm not being loved back.

I don't deserve people's loves.

Nuh-uh, I'm serious.

I don't even love my family I don't even love myself.

How can I love somebody else when I... don't feel any loves?

I can proudly and honestly tell you I'm selfish.

Because I can't feel the love, at all.

When people (mostly friends, and families) tell me they love me...

I don't know, I just... don't believe it.

I would doubt, and I would shrug.

My mom always said this to me:
"You must be thinking that it's a matter of course for us to love you, right? And because of this, you won't treasure the things beside you!"

Hmm, I wonder how many percent was that true.

Because I never thought that it's a matter of course for you people to love you - or rather, I would prefer that you don't. And it's not that I don't treasure the things beside me, it's just that I don't really need them, like, seriously.

The guitar... I don't even learn it.

The keyboard... I'm borrowing it to one of my best friends.

The laptop... I want it because like, I don't want to bother my friends many times to borrow theirs in school.

The PSP... hey, it's sis-in-law who doesn't want it, okay? It's not that I want this because I dislike the PS2.

Hmm, what else they said that I don't cherish? Well, everytime I ask for new things, they said that.

They just nagged and talked, and think that I shouldn't borrow those that's supposed to be precious to me to anyone else. But... Hmm.

Oh well, maybe it's really my problem, or they just don't understand me.

They always say "Come down, don't lock yourself inside the room! How can we even understand each other if we're not talking?"

The point is: We're too far away. Me and my siblings? We're like, one decade away. You can't blame me for being an outcast in the house. Even though I wanted to talk...what should I talk about? Animes? Games? Oh no, they're too smart for these kinds of stuffs.

And what they always talk about? Their works, their jobs...

Oh, they work in the same company, so.

So what can I say? Music? They don't have the same sense as mine. I listen to Japanese songs, they don't. I listen to Broadway songs, they don't. And they call me to stop listening to Japanese songs because it affects how I talk and everything and blahblahblah and my singing style---

Yes. I know that.

But of all stuffs - DON'T INSULT THEM.

But did they listen? Oh they sure not.

I don't even bother proving - okay, that's my bad for NOT proving myself to you.

*sigh*

So much happened in the weekly "Fantoi" session...

And they kept on "urging" each other to "voice out" their problems...

I don't feel like voicing out - why?

Those wasn't even some freaking PROBLEM compare to theirs!

And so, I'll just keep my quiet.

I'm only saying about people's problems that had no concern with mine.

At all.

Like, my brother and my sis-in-law and how they treat their son.

Not even my problem. *headdesk*

I just don't feel like talking about mine - because they aren't really... problems.

I'm NOT neglected.

I'm NOT a poor kid.

I'm NOT being abused.

I'm NOT with unloving parents.

I'm NOT the eldest.

I'm NOT the one who's gonna carry the house one day.

And something I wished: I'm NOT their child.

But it's a wish.

(I hope it'll come true, so that I can use this excuse to escape...

I'm so bad. OTL|||)

My family is just like every other families.

NORMAL. Family.

No finance problem, no family problems, no working problems...

NO. PROBLEMS.

The only problem is only my heart and how I see all of these, I guess?

And they always call me to reflect - I CAN'T EVEN REFLECT.

All I thought during that time is HOW they treat me.

And HOW MUCH I wish they treat me differently.

Can they just like, ignore me?

I wanted to be ignored.

I wanted to be poor.

I wanted to be pitied but not be looked upon.

I wanted to... be whatever that the others doesn't want to.

Of course, that's just plain selfish - I know.

That's why I can't say a single word.

And so, I type.

Not for anyone to see - I don't think people would even be so free to stalk your blog everyday to see your updates and I don't think people would even CARE about what you shared in FB.

Only someone like ME who's so 38 and kepoh and BORED to do such a thing to go and like and comment and trying to butt in people's business--- whatever.

And it hurts me so much to see people's family worse than me... because I would feel so much lucky and I would just shut up and can't give any good comments for them because... well, I'm... lucky.

Yeah.

Lucky.

Yeah.

Trying to convince myself here.

Yeah.

Padahal in my WHOLE life I have never been stressed before.

I told this to Yuki because in one of the phone session 2 years ago...

That, I don't feel stressed about anything,

Is because I'm stressed with my family. Too much.

Hmm.

Now I'm afraid to open a drinking party in my house.

Because I MIGHT go slam open my parent's door and start screaming at them.

Something I NEVER do in my whole 19 years of living.

Am I being too obedient to them? *shrugs*

And whenever I rebelled - somehow, which in my thoughts they're considered quite minor,

My mom would just nag nag nag and said something that I've grown up blahblahblah and being much worse.

Where... I'm actually being much expressive than previously.

I'm trying to VOICE OUT what I DIDN'T in the past... decade.

Because I'm trying to respect you elderly people.

But apparently, that's not enough for you to understand me.

Or you just can't believe I'm actually not the one you're hoping for me to be. *shrugs*

Look, at least I don't SCREAM in front of your face. All I did, was yell for one word, and then I kept quiet and swallow all my other words in.

Hell, Yuki even said that I'm suffering from injustice...whatever 委屈 meant.

But... compare to their problems, I... I just... don't think mines are problems!

Damn.

I wanted to rant but I have no place to rant.

Luckily I have Kou. *sigh* And I guess I have yet to open up to the others...yet.

Nope, not even Reina, though I don't mind for her to know but... I just can't speak it out. *sigh*

It feels AWKWARD. =x=

And I don't know WHY. =3=

===

And over here, I need to apologize to... the people I loved - or rather, being with me before -

And... STILL, in love with.

*sigh* Oh yeah, I need to admit this.

I'm still in love with the people I loved/been with before.

Or rather, I just can't forget/discard those feelings.

*cough* Anyway, enough for my "confessions" which... they aren't really IS a confession.

(Grammar mistakes...skip it.)

I wanted to apologize for being... mean.

Yeah, mean. (Or overly sarcastic that I'm actually sound like wanted to have a fight with you... which I really don't meant to do so... whatever.)

I don't meant to be mean but...

I just... I don't know. *scratches head*

It just happened that way.

Perhaps I'm just being hurt too much.

Or, I just am disappointed at how you are right now.

...I guess.

*sigh*

And another thing I found out - I'm only sarcastic (or being mean) to those that I really, really, loved.

And treasured.

Which is, a bad thing - I know.

I'm literally hurting the people I loved, and myself for being mean (and thinks of negative stuffs OTL|||)

GAH! This is so confusing! *ruffled with my hair*

Whatever, you can ignore this part.

Just remembered that I'm sorry, and you can ignore the others.

There: DONE.

===

I guess there's really times that I'm so selfish that...

I have that thought of "Yeah, it's like, you owe me a lot and you should've pay me back in this way."

That's why when someone decided to belanja me or anything, I would be so glad to accept it.

Oh yes.

That's why when it's my birthday, and like, someone FOR THE VERY FIRST FRIGGIN' TIME decided to like, belanja me (is that my first time being belanja'd? I think so), and I was like "FINALLY! Someone decided to like do this. GREAT! I don't need to pay! All my pay off in the past is like, finally paid off! Yeap, I definitely DESERVES this."

Oh my, I really sounded like a freaking pampered princess, don't I?

But that's really what I was thinking that day. March 31st 2011.

Therefore I need to thank the people here again: Kou, Qiqi, Reina... and Yuki for that wig. The rest of the 3 for like, having a surprise party for me.

Seriously: I'm really... touched.

My very FIRST. FREAKING. TIME.

In like, NINETEEN YEARS.

I have something different.

DIFFERENT.

And it feels so special that... I feel like crying everytime I thought about it.

It's really the best birthday, EVER.

I love you guys. <3

===

OKAY OKAY! I've ranted ENOUGH!

It's friggin' 3:16 A.M. right now...

Great.

Tomorrow 8a.m. I still have a breakfast to catch up with.

WITH MY FAMILY.

......can I like, not go?

And then they will say things like "Why you're so separated with us blahblahblah..."

"Families should talk!"

"Family is the most important thing in the world!"

...and the yadayada-HEN.

Okay, stop ranting and putting inputs.

Oyasumi, minna.

Thanks for reading up 'till here. =3

Love ya people. <3

Breakaway

Insert: Breakaway [by Kelly Clarkson]

「如果我们彼此擦肩而过。。。
何必再彼此身上留下伤痕？」

Ah, you've unfollowed me. Good.

Well, this is the kind of ending I've been waiting for.

We shall remain as strangers, and nothing more.

Right now, I shall wait for the time to wash away all the stains you left in my memory.
The good and the bad, everything.
As if we have never met before.

And I guess that's all.

I shan't be dwelling over all the past.
But what had written in this blog shall remain.
Well, just like how I dealt with my previous one.

Frankly said, it's a lil' bit too troublesome to go search for them and delete them all. Hmm.
Though it's just one click of a button to erase all of them up.

Am I hesitating?

Perhaps.

After all, they were written for a cause.

Still.

Hmmmmmm.



===

The song that you... "dedicated" (really?) to me...
How should I put this. *scratches head*
I'm not quite sure if you're standing as the 1st person (我) as you sang this,
Or as the second person (你)...
Or... the third person (他)...?

Whatever it is, I might sing the same thing back to you.
As the first person (我).

[楊丞琳] 我們都傻

計算著為你流下了多少眼淚
就代表有對我的心 撒了 多少謊
但每次我都選擇 選擇相信
相信你是愛我的

﹡倔強的以為我真的能改變你
看你裝無辜的眼神　我很窒息
難道你沒有看見　看見我對你的好
還是你忘了　那些數不清的愛情軌跡

你說我傻　傻在愛上只懂愛自己的人
我說你傻　傻在愛他你的眼睛騙不了人
我們都傻　傻在為一段沒有未來的愛情付出
還在期待會有奇蹟出現

你說我傻　傻在愛上沒有感情的分身
我說你傻　傻在愛他就固執的奮不顧身
我們都傻　傻在寧願被犧牲也不願放棄天真
還在期待會有奇蹟出現

誰沒有為愛做過傻事　繼續溫習我會　諷刺也無所謂

我說我傻　傻在愛上沒有感情的分身
你說你傻　傻在愛他就固執的奮不顧身
我們都傻　傻在寧願被犧牲也不願放棄天真

還在期待會有奇蹟出現
還在期待會有奇蹟出現

But of course, if I'm not interpreting it wrongly, you should be using second person (你) instead of first person （我） since... I don't really think that you really feel as how "我" feels. Maybe, I'm not sure.

But if that's really it......
I might have to change the song into "Pretending", which... would NEVER be.
Since I've already decided to walk this path.

I can't turn back now. *smirks*



===



Oh well.

Perhaps I shan't touch them,
To somehow "honor" the joys that you have gave to me.
And see myself deal with such pasts and move on.
Who knows that perhaps it'll be a great achievement if I done so? *smirks*

Just like that one song that I've written for you.
Or perhaps two... yes, it was two. Hmmm.

Whatever it is, I've done everything and I've through it.

"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly...
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky...
And I'll make a wish, Take a chance, Make a change...
And breakaway..."

心血来潮 / 七夕情人节

Insert: Silly Love Songs [Glee Cover / The Warblers]

虽然说我是心血来潮啊。。。
不过，
那个吻，那一句话，
其实都常在心里面想做很久了。

然后，那一首歌。
然后，那一些录音。

全部都只是在等着最好的时机来呈现出来。
给你，还是给我自己，都并不重要。

因为，它们的存在，就是为了表现出我心里面的感受而已。

所以我并不要求什么，

听了就好了。
明白了就好了。

你要，就把内心话全部说出来算了。
你不想说，我也没能逼到你什么。

反正到最后也是我自己拿来衰。
时间地点人不合什么的，
都是自己拿来的。

算了吧，
我都是和爱情无缘的吧~
以前错失了机会，现在送走了机会，
全部自己一手造成的。
不够成熟，不够细心，
想太多，明白得太少。
以后有没有机会可以补偿? 不知道。

===

看着身边的人甜蜜地跟他们所爱的人在一起，
心里其实有很多说不出的感受。
然后有很多想法，但是有实现不出来。
很想找个人，但又可以找谁呢？
毕竟朋友与恋人的感觉都是不同的。
能够做得出的感觉和妙点也是不一样的。

如果你有看到这里的话，
明天（今天）就呆在你的家吧。
就让我这一张纸发挥它最后的作用吧。
然后，如果你不要我再烦你的话，
我将不会再出现在你的门前，你的电话，你的网上。

就这样。<3

亲爱的母亲......

Insert: Last Resort [by Paparoach]

亲爱的母亲，请你记得你今天所说过的事情。
你放心，我永远都不会再向你求救。
我有朋友，我有能力，我只是没有钱。
不用紧，我会自己去开一个户口，不再需要你的管理。
~Direct copy from my FB status



Itched to say this again in English:



Dear mother.
Please KINDLY remember what you've said today...
(Oh, maybe you won't because you said it "unintentionally"~ Oh how silly am I...)
I shall NEVER ask help from you anymore again.
I shall have my friends, my abilities, my everything.
I DO have money, thank god you gave it to me.
But come to think about it: I never should've taken it.
I should've work myself through it... oh how silly of me once again.

I apologize.
I never should've taken your money.
I never should've use your money.
I never should've ask for money.
I never should've BORN in this so-called rich family.

I would rather be born in a small, poor, family, and let myself to strive through all the challenges.

Rather than being in this small cage, unable to learn a single thing...
Not to survive, not to take care of myself...
Being spoonfeed... no. Not good at all.
Worse of all: No freedom.

Nuh-uh. Not GOOD at all.

I'd rather fly and BANG and DIE just like that...
But at least I tried, I experienced, I DID it by myself...
I had a choice, and that's my choice...
And at least I won't have any regrets.

At least I fly, for once.
Just like when I chose to steal a person's kiss without thinking the consequences.

真的真的很爱你 [自创歌词]

Insert: Honey (by GUMI)

This is like a sudden inspiration, actually...
And the lyrics came from my actual feelings.
Is this the first ever Chinese song that I try to compose?
Perhaps, perhaps not...

Well, this is the first ever to let me have an idea and recorded it down though... |DDD

Intro (Speech) :

「愛してる、兄ちゃん。

どうが、幸せになってください...」


Verse 1:

我好想念和你 S M S 的快乐

我好想念和你西哈打闹的快乐

多么的开心，多么的幸福

就这么简单就能得到满足


我好想念和你手牵手的日子

我好想念和你互相调戏的日子

那一片蛋糕，那一杯红茶

就这么奇妙的变成了佳肴


Pre-Chorus 1:

但，欢乐的时光就是那么快结束的

被我的理性，被我的双手

是我先放弃了爱你的资格

让这一小段奇迹般的幸福结束了


Chorus 1:

但是我真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

不想掉入这个没结果的陷阱

却又一次一次被你的温柔所拉近


就因为我真的真的很爱你

爱到我遍体鳞伤还继续下去

刻意的避开你我持续不下去

就这样慢慢的被你的温柔所侵蚀


Verse 2:

从哪天开始我们开始不通话

从哪天开始我已经把你给隔离

但我删除不了你，删除不了回忆

一遍又一遍重复读着我们的过去


从哪天起我不再等着你的消息

从哪天起我不再拿起手机 S M S 你

那时的快乐，那时的伤心

我很想把全部关于你的忘记


Pre-Chorus 2:

但，我每次都下不了手，股不起勇气

这一段幸福，这一段感情

哪怕只是一片浪漫的幻影

它在我脑海里深刻地留下了痕迹


Chorus 2:

就因为我真的真的很爱你

爱到我遍体鳞伤还继续下去

不想掉入这个没结果的陷阱

却一次又一次的被你的温柔所拉近


但是我真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

刻意的避开你我持续不下去

就这样慢慢的被你的温柔所侵蚀


Bridge:

泪不停的落下
就像伤口上撒了一堆盐
身体被疼痛所麻痹
心被打碎

我处于地狱中
生不如死
好痛苦


Chorus 3:

我真的真的真的很爱你

爱到连我自己都快要窒息

它就只是个奇迹般的幻影

却逼真得让我堕入下去不能够回去


就我真的真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

明明很清楚这是没结果的骗局

最后还是欺骗了自己


就因为我真的真的爱着你

所以我才必须离开你


Outro (Speech) :

"Goodbye my love, you will always be within me...

But now, I must leave...

I'm gone."

Many thanks to my dearest Nii-chan for all the lyrics nyahaharrr~~~

Oh, and quoted from the same person:

痛，

不分长短，

只说付出的感情……


付出得多，

痛楚越大；

付出得少，

一点都没感觉……

不在乎时间的长短……

I agree very much towards this statement.
Though I don't think it's towards me but... I still agree with it. <3
Perhaps that's the reason why I created a song...? Hmmm...

===

Anyway, just to celebrate this day...
Where I'm able to steal one's kiss with my own first kiss......

I shall post the whole scene in my P.O.V. |DDD

===

*DIRECT COPY FROM MY SKYPE*

Very epik: go to the house first time, dunno what to do. Leave the house. Then go back - thinking of grabbing my earring - but that person didn't find it, so we chat for 30 minutes and then I go backkk... get on my car... driving... then decided to take a U-Turn back the house and finally did it. |DDD

The summarized (?) "convo" we had for the third time I get back to that house...

NOTE: The "convo" is originally in Chinese. I'm lazy to type the epikness out MWAKAKAKA!

WO: *waiting outside the gate, rang the doorbell, twirling my carkey*
TA: *look at me* What happened?
WO: You open the gate first.
TA: Har? Why?
WO: Open first.
TA: Oh. *open the gate*
WO: *walks in*
TA: What happen? *behind the steel door*
WO: Open the door first. *smirks*
TA: What? What? What happen? What do you want to do? Why are you smiling like that?
WO: Open the door first. *continues my smile*
TA: *opens the door*
WO: *looks at the gate* Eh, you might want to leave your gate open.
TA: HUUUH??? Why?
WO: Just open it.
TA: Uhhh... But why? Your tayar poncek izzit?
WO: Juuuust open it.
TA: ... *opens the gate*
WO: *looks at it* Well, I guess it's enough for me to walk then can already... never mind.
TA: Huh?
WO: *speed grab on TA de shoulders and kissed smooched on the lips, then ran away towards the gate........ just to notice that the gate is CLOSING UP* (innerself: wtf?!) *runs through the gate and get onto my car. Make a funny face at TA in the car.......as I SOMEHOW saw TA "smiling"...??? Hmmm. It's a mystery. Oh well~*



|DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

This is my whole journey of stealing a kiss with my own first kiss...
The first time I gathered enough courage to do such thing in 19 years...

Ah, awesomeness.
Shall never forget. |DDDDDDDD