Is it possible for a Deceptive Love...?

Insert: Uso no Koi wa Dekiru kana...? (by myself)


The song has been there for a while - it's not a recent thing.
Well, it begun when I tried to write a song with lyrics for you, and...
The verse and the pre-chorus part just BAM, because they're already there.
But the chorus, I'm still struggling.

It just... doesn't fit.

Our love seemed to be sweet, but in truth, they're just like a fantasy:

"Too good to be true."

And as you always said to me, where you "wasn't sure if this is love, or just friendship".
Then you made me wonder about that myself...
Are you just another hole for me to get rid of my solitude, or you're really my love?
Have I been acting for too long that I'm acting as if I'm attracted to you?
Or they're actually very real...?

But I'm pretty sure those things I said in the PM before this week is real.

Very real.

But no, you're... unable to fulfill that.

The questions that I had in mind, the decision that I tried to make, everything is in that song.

Thanks to you, the chorus' lyrics finally made more sense and gave this song it's real purpose.
But of course, the chorus are just questions - they're still required to be answered.


Chorus is not in the preview, it's here:

= = = = = = =
= L y r i c s =
= = = = = = =

>>> Verse:
Moshi kimi to aenai nara, betsu no hito koishichatta no?
[If (I) haven't meet you, would (you/I) fall in love with another person?]

Moshi kimi wa kocchi konai de, kono sekai wa kawatteru no?
[If you did not appear, will this world be different/changed?]

>>> Pre-Chorus:
Gensou no kimochi you na; Uso mitai kara
[It's a feeling like a fantasy; It seemed so much a lie]
Shinjirarenai de, wakaranai de ii no kana?
[By not believing in it, by not understand it, would it be fine?]

Gensou no hibi you na, shiawase mitai kara
[The days seemed like fantasy, it seemed to be happiness]
Konna de tsuzukude nani mo kiku nai de ii no kana?
[Going on like this, without questioning it, would it be fine?]

>>> Chorus:

Can I don't care that this is not love (and say)
"Kimi to isshoni tsuzukete hoshii [I wanted to continue on with you]"
If I don't care that this is not love (and say)
"Zutto zutto kimi no soba ni ite [Forever and ever I will be by your side]"

Now I don't care, will you stay with me?
Ai wo nai koi wo tsuzukete [Continue a loveless relationship]

Konomama usotsuite [With this, (we'll/I'll) Keep on lying]
Dare mo tomenai de [Nobody can stop it/anything]
Kore dake shinjite [Just "believe" in this]
Dekiru kana...? [Is it possible...?]

Misunderstood / Stirring...

NOTE: Direct copy from my FB status.
Insert: 如果或可是 / 真的真的很爱你 [NOTE: Different songs :/ One sang by me, one wasn't]


‎"...you said you didn't believe this song is meant for you. By saying this, you're denying my love for you. You really thought that I'm still in love with my first love - but seriously, who doesn't? You did the same. But if your denial towards my love is really the reason why you just won't accept me, then fine.

It's already been months, and I really don't quite care much about this already.

I've brought you on a date, I've sang songs for you, recorded songs for you, drew a mini-comic/leaflet as your birthday card, brought you a rose, gave you a cake, hugged you, kissed you.......

...and they're still not enough to prove my feelings for you?

I grinned at the thought of that, bitterly. Especially of all that I've done for you. Oh well, if that's how you really think, then I really have nothing to say, my dear.

And as someone's suggestion, I should have just forget about you.

And I shouldn't have typed my blog out.

Yet, I dislike misunderstanding.

So, I typed them out.

Just to let you know - if there's fate, once again - and to let myself know, how stupid I am fall into the wrong hands again and again..."

~ Arcym, Misunderstood




= = = = = = = = = =


Some Little Things That's Not Typed Out:


All those aside, I have never regretted in any of these.
Since they're the once that helped me learning something new.
And I'm pretty sure even though I really still am in love with you,
You will never come back to me.

Unless someone proved me wrong - but that's highly impossible.

And so, I shall continue living.
Living on those days that I have, or never, met you.
Yet, I will still be reminded of those things that the both of us shared.
Which... I'm pretty much was annoyed about.


The stirring in my heart, I just couldn't stand it...


-sigh-


Oh well... Time to go.

真的真的很爱你

Insert: 真的真的很爱你 (by yours truly: Me - Akira Rei / Arcym)


Wow, I can't believe this...
I love my new template 8D
But it's rather hard to fast-post it in the Blog itself anymore :/
But it's pweeeetty DDDDDD8


= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =


So... I've uploaded this song, like, finally.
And, like, erm...
I don't really plan to let that idiot to listen to this so...
Hmmm.


I'mma just posting it up.


Oh, disclaimers: Guitar not by me, repitching not by me.
I only provide my own voices ;3
Guitar is done by Melissa Sasa and Repitching ish done by Kou.
And I fall in rabu with mahsewf 8DDD -shot-


PS: This is NOT the full version of the whole songs, there's still more instruments to come in. This is just a BETA version. ;3


The Link For The Song: http://www.box.net/shared/ahe6c0mx0sq395njnick

= 真的真的很爱你 Lyrics =

Verse 1:

我好想念和你 S M S 的快乐

我好想念和你西哈打闹的快乐

多么的开心，多么的幸福

就这么简单就能得到满足

我好想念和你手牵手的日子

我好想念和你互相调戏的日子

那一片蛋糕，那一杯红茶

就这么奇妙的变成了佳肴

Pre-Chorus 1:

但，欢乐的时光就是那么快结束的

被我的理性，被我的双手

是我先放弃了爱你的资格

让这一小段奇迹般的幸福结束了

Chorus 1:

但是我真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

不想掉入这个没结果的陷阱

却又一次一次被你的温柔所拉近

就因为我真的真的很爱你

爱到我遍体鳞伤还继续下去

刻意的避开你我持续不下去

就这样慢慢的被你的温柔所侵蚀

Verse 2:

从哪天开始我们不zai通话

从哪天开始我已经把你给隔离

但我删除不了你，删除不了回忆

一遍又一遍重复读着我们的过去

从哪天起我不再等着你的消息

从哪天起我不再拿起手机 S M S 你

那时的快乐，那时的伤心

我很想把全部关于你的忘记

Pre-Chorus 2:

但，我每次都下不了手，股不起勇气

这一段幸福，这一段感情

哪怕只是一片浪漫的幻影

它在我脑海里深刻地留下了痕迹

Chorus: 2

就因为我真的真的很爱你

爱到我遍体鳞伤还继续下去

不想掉入这个没结果的陷阱

却一次又一次的被你的温柔所拉近

但是我真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

刻意的避开你我持续不下去

就这样慢慢的被你的温柔所侵蚀

Bridge:

泪不停的落下  我处于地狱中  生不如死

就像伤口上撒了一堆盐   心被打碎   身体被疼痛所麻醉

好痛苦

Chorus 3:

我真的真的真的很爱你

爱到连我自己都快要窒息

它就只是个奇迹般的幻影

却逼真得让我堕入下去不能够回去

就我真的真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

明明很清楚这是没结果的骗局

最后还是欺骗了自己

就因为我真的真的爱着你

所以我才必须离开你

So... yeah, that's all for this post. ;3

Hope you guys enjoyed this =3

Or not 8D

Don't hit me if you don't DDDDDD8

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

It's been, well, a while...

I still don't regret about my decision.

But whenever I see that name popping up in my notification,

I would immediately went onto that post, and delete everything of mine.

Just because I don't want to be reminded anymore.

I've deleted almost everything and as much as I could.

But this song...

I guess, let this song be the only reminder, then.

Since, well, this is also a beautiful song.

I must thank someone for giving me such inspiration to make such a good song.

But I don't want to be reminded of that someone any longer.

Perhaps I'm not over yet,

Or perhaps I am.

Maybe...

Hmm.

Either way, I wanted to move on...

So don't come into my life anymore, thank you.

I'm out. |3

= = = = = = = = = = =

:: EDIT ::

Ohhell you said this song wasn't meant for you?!

Fine. SUITS YOURSELF.

If you really don't believe it, then don't.

Though I really dislike misunderstandings.

Just to tell you right here right now:

I have loooong moved on from my... I couldn't call that an ex. Let's see...

That princess, yes, I should call that B that.

I have no longer bear any feelings for the current Princess, you see?

The only thing that remain in my mind regarding that B,

Is only, and ONLY, the past Ice Mountain.

I will never be in love with a bitchy princess.

That's how I came to -coughlovecough- you and get rid of that feeling.

You just won't believe it, huh?

Oh it's okay.

I've done WHATEVER I could.

And also to heed someone's advice, I really shouldn't bother but STILL:

Until you FREAKING call me, I shall NEVER find you back!

I. Hate. Misunderstanding.

If you have anything, talk! Speak that shiz out!

Keeping in your FREAKING HEART doesn't make anything much better!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF---

See? This is WHY I freaking hate you people. ARGH.

I don't care about it anymore. -storms gracefully walks out-

真的真的很爱你 [自创歌词]

Insert: Honey (by GUMI)

This is like a sudden inspiration, actually...
And the lyrics came from my actual feelings.
Is this the first ever Chinese song that I try to compose?
Perhaps, perhaps not...

Well, this is the first ever to let me have an idea and recorded it down though... |DDD

Intro (Speech) :

「愛してる、兄ちゃん。

どうが、幸せになってください...」


Verse 1:

我好想念和你 S M S 的快乐

我好想念和你西哈打闹的快乐

多么的开心，多么的幸福

就这么简单就能得到满足


我好想念和你手牵手的日子

我好想念和你互相调戏的日子

那一片蛋糕，那一杯红茶

就这么奇妙的变成了佳肴


Pre-Chorus 1:

但，欢乐的时光就是那么快结束的

被我的理性，被我的双手

是我先放弃了爱你的资格

让这一小段奇迹般的幸福结束了


Chorus 1:

但是我真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

不想掉入这个没结果的陷阱

却又一次一次被你的温柔所拉近


就因为我真的真的很爱你

爱到我遍体鳞伤还继续下去

刻意的避开你我持续不下去

就这样慢慢的被你的温柔所侵蚀


Verse 2:

从哪天开始我们开始不通话

从哪天开始我已经把你给隔离

但我删除不了你，删除不了回忆

一遍又一遍重复读着我们的过去


从哪天起我不再等着你的消息

从哪天起我不再拿起手机 S M S 你

那时的快乐，那时的伤心

我很想把全部关于你的忘记


Pre-Chorus 2:

但，我每次都下不了手，股不起勇气

这一段幸福，这一段感情

哪怕只是一片浪漫的幻影

它在我脑海里深刻地留下了痕迹


Chorus 2:

就因为我真的真的很爱你

爱到我遍体鳞伤还继续下去

不想掉入这个没结果的陷阱

却一次又一次的被你的温柔所拉近


但是我真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

刻意的避开你我持续不下去

就这样慢慢的被你的温柔所侵蚀


Bridge:

泪不停的落下
就像伤口上撒了一堆盐
身体被疼痛所麻痹
心被打碎

我处于地狱中
生不如死
好痛苦


Chorus 3:

我真的真的真的很爱你

爱到连我自己都快要窒息

它就只是个奇迹般的幻影

却逼真得让我堕入下去不能够回去


就我真的真的真的很爱你

爱到我控制不了自己的感情

明明很清楚这是没结果的骗局

最后还是欺骗了自己


就因为我真的真的爱着你

所以我才必须离开你


Outro (Speech) :

"Goodbye my love, you will always be within me...

But now, I must leave...

I'm gone."

Many thanks to my dearest Nii-chan for all the lyrics nyahaharrr~~~

Oh, and quoted from the same person:

痛，

不分长短，

只说付出的感情……


付出得多，

痛楚越大；

付出得少，

一点都没感觉……

不在乎时间的长短……

I agree very much towards this statement.
Though I don't think it's towards me but... I still agree with it. <3
Perhaps that's the reason why I created a song...? Hmmm...

===

Anyway, just to celebrate this day...
Where I'm able to steal one's kiss with my own first kiss......

I shall post the whole scene in my P.O.V. |DDD

===

*DIRECT COPY FROM MY SKYPE*

Very epik: go to the house first time, dunno what to do. Leave the house. Then go back - thinking of grabbing my earring - but that person didn't find it, so we chat for 30 minutes and then I go backkk... get on my car... driving... then decided to take a U-Turn back the house and finally did it. |DDD

The summarized (?) "convo" we had for the third time I get back to that house...

NOTE: The "convo" is originally in Chinese. I'm lazy to type the epikness out MWAKAKAKA!

WO: *waiting outside the gate, rang the doorbell, twirling my carkey*
TA: *look at me* What happened?
WO: You open the gate first.
TA: Har? Why?
WO: Open first.
TA: Oh. *open the gate*
WO: *walks in*
TA: What happen? *behind the steel door*
WO: Open the door first. *smirks*
TA: What? What? What happen? What do you want to do? Why are you smiling like that?
WO: Open the door first. *continues my smile*
TA: *opens the door*
WO: *looks at the gate* Eh, you might want to leave your gate open.
TA: HUUUH??? Why?
WO: Just open it.
TA: Uhhh... But why? Your tayar poncek izzit?
WO: Juuuust open it.
TA: ... *opens the gate*
WO: *looks at it* Well, I guess it's enough for me to walk then can already... never mind.
TA: Huh?
WO: *speed grab on TA de shoulders and kissed smooched on the lips, then ran away towards the gate........ just to notice that the gate is CLOSING UP* (innerself: wtf?!) *runs through the gate and get onto my car. Make a funny face at TA in the car.......as I SOMEHOW saw TA "smiling"...??? Hmmm. It's a mystery. Oh well~*



|DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

This is my whole journey of stealing a kiss with my own first kiss...
The first time I gathered enough courage to do such thing in 19 years...

Ah, awesomeness.
Shall never forget. |DDDDDDDD

Is it better this way?

Insert: What the Hell [by Avril Lavigne]

Note: Originally, I was going to write a blog... but somehow, they became lyrics Owo
Note2: Yes, they're clashing with each other... because that's exactly how I feel now.
Note3: Yeap, if you noticed, they're only half of the truth, and some of them are lies. But I'm mainly retelling what I've heard and encountered in my life.

======

[Verse 1]
Is it better if I don't say anything at all?
Is it better if I don't do anything at all?
Or is it better if I just do whatever I wanted,
Care less about the consequences?

Is it better to agree with something that I don't?
Is it better to not be myself?
Or is it better to defy the whole world,
As long as I feel okay with it?

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I hate your voice, I hate your clothes,
I like this style, I like this art,
I love your manner, I love your choices,
I hate myself, I hate the whole world!

[Chorus]
Is it better this way?
Is it better to walk on the different path?
Or is it better that way?
Is it better to continue my chosen path?

Do you understand me?
Whatever I said I rant I cried
Do you agree with me?
If you don't you better shut up now!

'cause I wanna be me
'cause I wanna be free
But I wanna be anything but my own self

I'm so confused
I'm so upset
The way the whole world disagreed with me

[Verse 2 / Rap???]
So what you say that heavy metal is alright
So what I say that if classical is my style
So what you say that the drums are kinda harsh
So what I say that if I hate all the voice you cried?

So what you say that you don't like whatever I dressed
So what I say that I don't like being a lady that I'm not
So what you say that I don't suit to be some musician
So what I say that you don't suit to be some human

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I like your skills, I like your hair,
I hate this art, I hate this song,
I hate this man, I hate that girl,
I love myself, I love all kinds of shit that I don't!

[Chorus 2]
Is it better this way?
Is it better to say and explain what I feel?
Or is it better that way?
Is it better to say something that I don't really mean?

Do I understand you?
How you rant and scream and cry into my ears
Do I agree with you?
If it makes you feel so much better I'll say "yes" to you

'cause you want me to be
'cause you want to feel good
But you want me to be nothing but myself

You're so confused
You're so upset
The way I disagree with the whole world

[Bridge]
I... I'm afraid...
I'm afraid that I am alone
I'm afraid that I have no friends

Why... Why must I afraid?
I have nothing to begin with
I have nothing to lose and I... I... I...!

[Chorus 3]
Is it better this way?
Is it better to leave everything behind?
Is it better this way?
Is it better to lose everything I am I find?

Or is it better that way?
Is it better to be anything but myself?
Seriously, is it better that way?
Is it better to wear a mask for my whole life?

Do you understand me?
Whatever I scream I wrote and I cried?
Do you understand me?
The feeling I feel deep inside?

Have you listen to me?
Have you even try to understand what I cried!
Have you walk out from that little box,
Or I'm the one who need to walk out from here?

'cause I'm so self-centered
'cause I'm so outrageous
'cause I just wanna be who I truly am

But I'm losing myself
But I don't feel like myself
And I even start to hate myself

Is this how the world wants me to be

[Ending (Verse)]
Is it better if I don't say anything at all?
Is it better if I don't do anything at all?



======

Originally, I have inspiration how this song would be like when I wrote down the lyrics/feelings, but...

DAMN MY MEMORIES!!! QAQ
I forgot to record them them.
FML OTL||||||

Tsumetai no Kokoro

Insert: Tsumetai no Kokoro [by Yenni Arcym AKA Me, myself 8DDD]

I'm going to copy whatever that has written inside my port-folio into this place, but since there's something that a blog cannot make it happen, I shall re-arrange it.


===

冷たいの心

Tsumetai no Kokoro

Frozen Heart

Genre: J-Pop Ballad
Singer: Akira Rei (Me)
Composer: Akira Rei (Me)
Lyrics: Akira Rei (Me), Uon Kou
Instrument(s) Used: Vocal, Piano

Original Kanji Lyrics:

愛は何のもの？
私も解らないだ
愛の記憶
もう忘れてた

あの日の君は
とっても優しい
でも今の君は
何とか、別の人だ

私の心今は
冷たいに見たい
これは
愛のせいですか？

今何もできない
本当はあの日の君に
会いたい

Romanji (Just in case if you wonder how to pronounce the words):

Ai wa nan no mono?
Watashi mo wakaranai da
Ai no kioku
Mou wasureteta

Ano hi no kimi ha
Tottemo yasashii
Demo ima no kimi wa
Nantoka, betsu no hito da

Watashi no kokoro ima wa
Tsumetai ni mitai
Kore wa
Ai no sei desu ka?

Ima nani mo dekinai
Hontou ha ano hi no kimi ni
Aitai

Translations (Literally what does the song means):

What is “love”?
I don’t even know about it myself
The memories of love
I have already forgotten about it

The “you” that day
Were so much kinder
But the “you” now
Somehow became a different person

Right now, my heart
Seemed to be frozen
Is this,
The fault of “love?

Now, I can’t do anything
(But) truthfully, the “you” of that day
I wished to see it once again

• What is this song truly about?

This is a typical J-Pop style ballad song. Technically, it’s about a girl thinking what is going on between her love with this guy, who was much kinder towards her at first. However, after some while, the guy has became colder and colder towards the girl. The girl noticed it, but did not ask, just thinking that if that guy would break up with her if he trully disliked her.

Though, neither of them make moves to resolve this problem, and both of them grew much distant as the days gone by. The girl had lost hope in this “love”, questioning herself at the same time about this kind of “love” that the both of them shared right now. Currently, the girl lost faith in all sorts of love and became a much colder person as well. She wondered if “love” has made her to become like this.

Well, she can’t do anything to mend the situation right now. But deep in her heart, she longed for the “old” him to return, and wished to see him once again, despise what had happened towards them right now.


===

So... What do you think of this song?
So far, from what I heard from my friends, they say it's the best out of the three songs I've composed.
And my voice in singing this kind of song is the best.
They even said that my previous life is a Japanese LOL!!! (Oh, I'm quite proud of that PX)

Seriously... IT'S A HUGE COMPLIMENT!!!!!! 8DDDDDDDDDD
Thanks Frances! Thanks Carmen!!!

I shall compose more songs!
More Japanese songs!!! 8DDDDDD (much to Melissa Sasa's dismay ROFL)

Just kidding, I shall compose all kinds of songs of course!!! PX
Especially some musicals... some choirs... some classical-like-fusion... songs??? Owo
*cough* Anyway, I shall work hard on composing more songs!
Like some certain youtubers...

Damn, his songs are powerful =A=

Can I be like him???

QAQ?!?!

*coughcough* Anyway, I shall stop here.

Please leave your comments of my song~ Thank you~~~ ^w^
(In FB or whatever. Here also can =3)

Flames are welcomed!
8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD