Written Before My Grad...

NOTE: This is a letter towards an important person... and it's too golden so I must write it down 8'D

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

From here onwards, I am going to make my own statements. This is purely based on how personally felt about everything, how I perceive from my own point of view. It might insult you, it might make you feel like shit and helpless, or just depressed because the whole world seemed to not understand you.

First, let me state your importance to me. From the level of smoke to ramen you're the ramen for obvious reason. But, you probably won't understand this because I don't think you deem any friends as important. Of course, you will not reject them, because you're being too kind, and you will just rant and complain about everything right after it. Can, why not? The issue on this matter is, I will be the one that is protective of you and will not complain about shits even after you did something disappointing to me. When I did, it means that I have received more disappointments than what I can accept, and I know you can do it but you chose not to and give no reasons, and you still show me a face as if I am the one who dragged you down to hell. If I really am at fault, then fine, you have your justification. But most of the time, you WERE willing to do it, and then you just think everything is troublesome. If you don't want just said so lah! Very hard meh? I can disappoint for a while then try to understand why, but most of the time, you chose to stick to the end with a super bitter face as if you're playing something you don't like, don't want, and cannot do at all, and I forced you to do it. I'm not sure if you remembered, but I am actually talking about the "Senbonzakura" thing, which is like 1 or 2 years ago, when you have MBE. I remembered it, and I still never managed to understand WHY. Why lah, kamu ni bitter face? Why lah don't tell me? Why lah mau memalukan sendiri pun tak nak buatkan terbaik that you can actually do it? Why? I guess I will never know.

Now, I never once minded that you rant to me. It is fine to rant, it is fine to complain, but when you talk as if I am part of those humans and I mean nothing to you, I am not fine with it. You say you want to disappear - fine, but what about those that cared and needs you? See, this is the problem with me. I understand the reason behind your wish to disappear, and it was awkward to admit that I do not want you to do so because you're like one of those that I can talk with, but I decided that supporting you will is more important. So I kept my silence, and I let you go. Somehow I even wished that we're just mere strangers so that hearing these from you will be less painful.

There are just so, so many things that I did not dare to tell you, because it's awkward, and none of us seemed to want to resolve. I don't know what is the best time to talk to you, and every time I wanted to say, I can't go on. Funniest thing is, you want people to be straightforward to you, I want the same too, but your straightforwardness includes turning around the big circle and beating around the bush. I did that when I really don't want to talk about it, yes, I'm at my own fault too. Perhaps you're the same, but we both just can't be straightforward with each other for our own reasons. Too bad.

By saying "Sorry for ranting yesterday, I will not rant to you anymore" simply means that you don't understand what my post meant. Alright, lemme tell you then. The whole situation of you ranting, finish rant/resolved, then proceed to go and have fun with someone else... to me, sounds like "Finish throw rubbish, go and play with someone more important". You treated me as a stranger, a... place to juuust throw your shits into, and you just walk away. Wow, how convenient that sounds, right? Too bad, I guess you may not feel that, because... as you self-pitied, and said it yourself, you're a cruel, self-centered, fishmonger. You will never understand how important people can be, if you compare them to animals and pets, right? Yes, you will nod your head to this. That's how I thought, too.

Up until this point, I wonder how much have you lost your focus and wished that you don't need to deal with my craps anymore. Oops, I forgot that this may be throw away from the start too. Too many words for you? Too luansui for you? I think so too. But hey, my anger has not died. I'm continuing this for my sake man!

Oh yeah, I actually haven't finish yet. And you asked me to scold you right? Well I shall continue. You say everyone is fake? Congratulations! You are not fake! Oh, and I need to congratulate myself being the fakest, because right, I am there helping you out and listening to your rants and always care about you and I really should get Oscar for being your best, fake friend, right? All my love for you are fake, all those efforts are fake, all those opinions are fake, right? Yeah. Actually hor I change your song punye melody because I think it sounded better that way, and I give you credits because, you know, best friends ma, right? I am totally not sorry about it you know? So many people praise me singing very good one you know? Because hor I tell you opinions you think fake ma, I am wrong ma, then ok lor. I sendiri tweak lor. Now that I know I'm a fake friend and don't need to pretend anymore, I can take some credits, right? Oh, and, all those car fares, pay me back oh~ 3 years I drive you around leh~ You think other people got ah? No! Only fake friends do one. Fake 到底嘛~ Yeah, think about it I did nothing much hor? Summore I ask you out and force you to go somewhere with me right? Ok lah, then dunnid pay lah. Everything you sudah pay. Aiya, but my kimochi you no pay me leh. Those happiness, sadness, anger, and worries... ei? No need pay ah. Cuz they all fake, kan? Yalor. Then dunnid la. Eh but all those gossips those information very important leh. Need to calculate. Thank god you told me something too, otherwise hard to count lor~

Woah. I really can become Oscar actress weih. I can cry anytime LOL! Aiya, you see? Fake dao I forgot to marah you liao. Aiyo dunnid one la, everyone else help me marah ma, kan? You say so de ma~ Best revenge, right?

I have no idea what went into your mind, but I can say that I do NOT deserve this treatment. But of course, you dunnid to give. You know why? Because it's my own choice ma~ I have been forcing myself onto you, right? Aiya, tell me lah you hate me from the bottom of your heart. You also treat me very nice leh. Wait. Wah! You fake queen leh like that! Woohoo! But seriously, tell me lah you don't like me, tell me lah you want to get away from me. Like what you say kan? Want betray, betray kaw kaw. Let me one-shot no hope of even deeming you as a friend ma... Aiya, I forgot again. I fake aje ma, hor? Why so serious leh? Hahahahaha

Now that I reveal I fake friend, suddenly everything I want to say not important liao. All those I write ah? Fake de lah. You think I feel so much? I fake friend leh! Hahaha!

Eh, I tell you, next time bring your dogs around. They are the most loyal, won't betray you, and help you bite those that betrays you. Like me ah, and the rest of the people ah... aiya, you know de lah! Always trust only on dogs, only play with dogs. Humans not important one, right? Ei, like that hor, don't go Japan also! Cannot be trusted one. Aiya, don't work also lah. Boss cannot understand you, and you cannot work with people. Stay at home leh? Got robbers then how? Move to mountain lor.

Yeap, just like in your dreams.

Be away from the world, be forever alone.

Ei, don't complain ok? I try to make you not alone many times oh. You didn't want de oh. Then people move in you baru happy cuz got someone you can deem more important... THEN YOU GOT BETRAYED! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

What. You kid ah? You 1st time ah?

Grow up lah, my god.

Me? I gave up, dunnid to grow up one!

I got money ma, scare what? Scare people like you lor! Texting and calling dunnid money ah? Why I waste? Aiya fake friends ma~ Need to invest leh! You macam jade. If I can make you polished you tau how how much I can earn back or not? Too bad leh, now fake friends, cannot see you grow cannot polish you liao. Need to hand you to another person. Want to wait for you and together shine at Japan also cannot liao. Bobian lor~ You worry about being bullied? Nah, got fake friends around you, they will all smile at you and help you de. You so talented, people don't want you they stupid lah! Got gold dunwan? Macam ni de lor. You so good then everyone wants a piece of you de lor~ Wanna complain? Too bad, this door kena lock by you liao. You say de ma~ Fake friends la, and they

= = = = = = ONE PAPER GONE MISSING I DUNNO WHAT ELSE I WRITE = = = = = =
= = = = = = SO I CHANGE = = = = = =

Fake friends la, cannot trust, you deal with your own problems la... Good! Your problems macam mountain you know how many I need to deal with them? And what do I get? You walk off for more important people lor~

Tch. 浪费我时间、体力、金钱。

到最后都不被你重视。Cheh.

Haiya. Write too long liao. You still reading kah? I kind of hope that you just give up though. Cuz I don't know if you will understand what I'm trying to say here.

But anyway, thanks for reading and stay with me for 3 years (wow!). You self-pity bastard that kept on belittling your own talents and give up on everything that you actually can be good at; You coward who can't speak up your mind; You fishmonger who will think only the world is bad at you but you are not causing other people's misery... But wait. What if... you ARE the victim?

Sucks to be you then~

Go back to your home lah~ Geez. Come out for what? Complain and make no changes. Cheh.

Juuuuuuust feel like doing something... stupid.

Insert: Egao no Hana [Negima Kazuki x Sayo character song]


And so, I was just........flipping through my diary (because I need to write some certain MPC in some certain forum >w>) and... I spotted some certain shtuffs in my diary, that I juuuuuuuust feel like EG-ing about it. XD

= = =

我不知道要怎么说才好。。。
>>>But you're already talking.
我并不讨厌你，但是我并没有那种所谓“大好き”の感情。
>>>Daisuki janai, ai no kanjou desu.
可能使我本身不了解这种感觉，我不知道这种滋味
>>>Touzen da, you no love anyone before :\


我还是没办法明白，
>>> Of course you don't understand.
你到底能有多了解我，
>>> You're no mind-reader :\
能有多接受我，
>>> I can comprehend a lot...well, in the past.
能有多理解我，
>>> Maybe not thaaaat much, since you're a Scorpio anyway. -shrugs-
明白到你能说喜欢我？
>>> Do I need reasons to love you? :/


当然，我并不排斥。。。。。。
>>> Orlynao.
如果你认识到真正的我，
>>> Which one was it? The current one, or the past one?
你能确定你不会后悔吗？
>>> I never regretted in anything, just to tell you this :/
你还会想待在我身边吗？
>>> The past one - definitely |3
我不肯定。。。
>>> Yeah, you don't. You can't predict the future.
我能相信你不会背叛我吗？
>>> Betray? Naaaaaah.
如果你真的能接受这样冷血的我，
>>> I...once thought I could, but it's you who pushed me away so... Okay, I'm dumb. =w=;;;
我不介意你待在我身边。
>>> Orlynao. :/


不过，我并不会是属于任何人的，
>>> No one belongs to no one. They had a life and freedom, y'know? |D
请你明白这一点。
>>> Look the above.
我不可能成为别人的东西。
>>> Look the above.
如果到时你要离开我亦无法阻止你。
>>> I don't know izzit me leaving you, or you're pushing me away. :\


除了光以外你还跟谁说过这件事？
>>> Ippai no hito da! The whole blog knows! 8DDDD -shot- (Okay, maybe not thaaat obvious)
我不希望别人知道。。。。。。
>>> I know, I know.
就算在一起也不能光明正大，
>>> Duuuuuuh.
你能吗？
>>> If I can't, I won't be confessing to you, dumb dumb. :\


我给你时间，
>>> I don't need time D8 Well, now maybe, I need to compose more and stop procrastinating.
The decision is up to you.
>>> WAO. YOU HAZ ONE LINE OF ENGRISH. -applause-
どちもいい。。。。。。
>>> Ara, sou...
だって。。。
>>> Ara?
I don’t care……
>>> Ara, soooooooooou... :\ (If you really don't care, you wouldn't even reply me.)


ま。。。安心なさい、
>>> Nani ga anshin tte...?
まだ友達です。
>>> Tomodachi dake de wa hoshii ku nai yo =A= Motte nai naraba, kowasareta no hou ga motto itaku nai da yo~ |D


これは私の答え。
>>> Ahh hai- tte nagai D|
いいですか？

>>> Ii janai. Zettai ni II JANAI.

= = =

Okay, I'm so bad. BUT I HAD FUN!!! 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Feel free to kill me. |DDDDDD

If you are really reading, of course. NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA~

KAKATTE KOI!!! >DDDDDDD

I Hate You.

Insert: Hate [by NIGHTMARE]


NOTE: They're not in orders on whom I hate, and they can be just anyone. If you think you're in my list, feel free to feel that way. I don't care.



I hate you. For letting me down.
I hate you. For the lack of logic and common sense.
I hate you. For not letting me to love you.
I hate you. For who you are.
I hate you. For being someone I'm not.
I hate you. Fo' Dos Stupid Unneeded Caps W/ Shortcuts Like Dis.
I hate you. For creating the stupid fashion that's not fashion at all.
I hate you. For giving me everything but not those important stuffs.
I hate you. For being a bad teacher.
I hate you. For being a bad friend.
I hate you. For you who sucks.
I hate you. For the lack of love for me.
I hate you. For raising me wrongly.
I hate you. For owing me money.
I hate you. For owing me your life.
I hate you. For I need to drive for you everyday.
I hate you. For disappointing me.
I hate you. For being someone that's not yourself anymore.
I hate you. For not being straightforward.
I hate you. For concealing yourself behind that mask.
I hate you. For being such a bitch.
I hate you. For the lack of plans.
I hate you. For the lack of timing.
I hate you. For not being punctual.
I hate you. For not following my rules.
I hate you. For smoking.
I hate you. For drunk and drive.
I hate you. For being an attention-whore.
I hate you. For sharing out stuffs even yourself is disgusted by it.
I hate you. For having such confidence even though you sucked.
I hate you. For being over-confidence though you sucked A LOT.
I hate you. For losing.
I hate you. For being not in this country.
I hate you. For you who's unreacheable.
I hate you. For not taking care of your own body.
I hate you. For being poor and still rather help the others than yourself.
I hate you. For no able to take good care of your own welfare.
I hate you. For creating MMORPG.
I hate you. For dragging into the world that I disliked.
I hate you. For creating something such disgusting and no one likes it.
I hate you. For making me unable to sleep.
I hate you. For being short.
I hate you. For making me a female instead of a male.
I hate you. For making me unable to love who I wanted to.
I hate you. For not giving me any chances.
I hate you. For you who gives me hope then crush it to pieces afterwards.
I hate you. For lying to me.
I hate you. For tricking me.
I hate you. For all those sweet memories you gave me.
I hate you. For those memories turned bitter.
I hate you. For not knowing my dislike for coffee.
I hate you. For not saying anything at all.
I hate you. For being such an attention-whore--- wait. I mentioned this just now. Whatever.
I hate you. For the lack of innovations and creativity.
I hate you. For the lack of common sense--- wait. I think I repeated this as well. Hmm.
I hate you. For how can you not know a way for business.
I hate you. For the inability of understanding accounts.
I hate you. For the inability to teach AT ALL.
I hate you. For not making any safety precautions and procedures which hurts people.
I hate you. For causing accidents and hurting the others thanks to your lil' careless mistake.
I hate you. For abandoning your child.
I hate you. For hurting the child.
I hate you. For I can be a better date.
I hate you. For the inability to give happiness to a love.
I hate you. For being self-centered.
I hate you. For your egoism.
I hate you. For being EMO.
I hate you. For being emo but not and you're just a freaking ATTENTION WHORE.
I hate you. For being so friggin' fake.
I hate you. For the lack of common sense--- WHY THERE'S SO MANY LACK OF THIS?!
I hate you. For being stupid and foolish.
I hate you. For trolling to destroy.
I hate you. For letting me feel guilty.
I hate you. For making this country worse than it was.
I hate you. For trying to make each other racist.
I hate you. For being discrimination at people.
I hate you. For creating lousy music.
I hate you. For the inablity to teach me.
I hate you. For you who's myself.
I hate you. For being lazy.
I hate you. For the lack of inspiration.
I hate you. For losing what you originally have.
I hate you. For losing your voice.
I hate you. For losing your mind.
I hate you. For losing your heart.
I hate you. For wearing a mask.



I hate you. And the list goes on and on.


And I hate you. For the sake of hating you.

Of K-On and Reality...

Insert: On My Own / Turning Tables / Get It Right [GLEE]

I love you K-On.

So much that I need to create a blog post just to talk about how much I love you.

I love your humors, I love your songs, I love your characters.

Yet again, it was because of all of these I hate you.

There's no such humor happening around me right now,

There's no such skill within me that I can hit those songs with perfection,

There's no such humans with the exact characteristics that I wanted beside me.

However, K-On, you're the only joy that makes me love what I loved right now,

All the humors, the joy of music, and hanging out with my dear friends...

Sadly, they're not exactly like K-On...

...and that's of course, impossible, since Anime and Real Life never crossed.

= = = = = = = = = =

After watching the K-On!! Come With Me Live Concert mkv file...

...which, freaking lagged at most parts :\

I have the urge to re-download the whole friggin' thing once again... but that's not the point.

When I'm watching it, I feel so joyful and hyper regarding all that happened within,

And I'm touched by all those scenes that made me wanna cry -

They're performing as if it's their last time...

Even though they're playing a friggin' happy song, it made me wanna cry.

But of course, I kind of wanted to watch this with Kou,

Therefore I only clicked on the center to check...manatau, hahaha. =v=;;;

Ending up watching almost the whole later half... OTL|||

But I haven't watched the beginning yet, and the lags in within really bugged me. =x=

How dare they lagged on Death Devil's part?! DDDDDD<

*cough* Anyway, I loved so far how much I watched it...

And the full thing is like, almost four HOURS. D8!!!

It'll take me a friggin' long time to finish it... hmm.

"On my own, pretending you're beside me..."

Main point: When I finished it...

After the long while of hyperness and joys that I got from this video...

I'm, depressed.

On how much it is different from real life...

There will never be people be bonded as much as they do.

We might be so friendly and our relationship is tight, right now...

But after some while, people would change and things happened.

Then, the bond will loosen.

And then, it'll snap.

And dead.

Our relationships be.

I would dare to say that I have no such a close friend beside me right now.

Friends in the college, friends in cosplay, friends in the past...

All of them were nothing but strangers, acquaintances.

Even if we're so close during one time, we'll just walk our path after that.

Everyone would walk their own path.

Everyone has their own ideals.

Everyone has their own future worlds.

No one would be the same as you are.

And you will meet new people, continue finding your place in this earth you called home...

...or hoped to call home.

And so, everyone is alone, despite how many friends they called or how many family they had.

Nothing will ever let you feel you have someone beside you.

Nothing.

Because they will still leave you, someday in the future.

No one will get such a luck and chances like those characters in K-On...

Best friends since they're young, meet new people during highschool,

Studying in the same college after everyone graduated...

Even though their ideals are different...

Who, can achieve such bond?

In this world we called "Real Life"?

I'd say - nobody.

= = = = = = = = = =

From my own past...

During primary school, I've known and forgotten a lot of people,

Because my class is always changing.

1U, 2G, 3C, 4C, 5R, 6R.

Two years, for a kid, can never be enough for true friendship to bloom and bond.

The most we can be, are good friends, but mostly we're just acquaintance.

If I really need to name one, it'll be Tako.

Even until now, we still... kind of talk with each other.

Still, there's so much we lost and missed.

Then, middle school.

1B, 2C, 3C, 4E1, 5E1.

Thanks to the trait I carried from my primary school, I'm assigned to a "special seat".

I'm not changing, and those that changes were only the people sitting beside me.

Whom I gained as a best friend, throughout these years?

1B? None. 2C? None. 3C? Not really.

Then, there's 4E1.

It's a whole new class. Faces that I knew and don't.

But then, those were the faces I would face for two consecutive years.

I started to learn about them, yet, they weren't anyone that I can call close friends.

Not at all.

After 16 years, there's still none.

Even when I joined the Drama Team, it's somehow for fun to me.

Well, I must say, I had fun, but I'm not really that serious.

Because I have no real roles in the team.

I'm just a person who made those Special Effects.

Nothing much. :\

Then, Form Five...

I met people, formed a Japanese Club.

One of them is Kou, and he remained as my first ever best friend up 'till now.

The other? *smirks* To be honest, I don't know what should I call that right now.

Too much disappointments. I'd say.

And I thought that it'll be back to the past - that's what she hoped for.

But then, it'll be impossible, since things had changed.

There's nothing that I can do to revert myself to the past and face her the same way as I did in Form Five.

I don't even hope for the change to happen, too.

Even wishing on the shooting star doesn't make it happen.

For two years I've been waiting, yet nothing happened.

It's okay. I've gave up on that.

Oh, and the owl? It serves no purpose right now.

And it's cheap anyway - RM10. Yeah.

I might have thrown it away if it wasn't because of its beauty.

"God knows what I'm fighting for..."

Kou?

He did not change from how I knew him since the beginning -

As depressing as always.

Nothing can cure its depressions.

Not even a loving man or a caring woman can cure this sickness of his.

Forever and unending.

Proud to say this bad thing: I gave up on that as well.

Oh yes, I gave up in a lot of stuffs.

Let's see...

I gave up on playing the piano.

I gave up on getting as slim as an athlete.

I gave up on cosplay like the pros could.

I gave up on hoping my family would leave me alone.

I gave up on miracles in group works.

I gave up on a lot of people - love-interest, friends, and comrades related.

I gave up on finding love.

I gave up on becoming a good drummer.

I gave up on singing professionally.

I gave up on RP-ing... then came back because I missed it.

I gave up on becoming a better person.

The only thing that I couldn't give up on is to continue living, and continue dreaming.

"What can you do when your good isn't good enough,

All that you touch tumbles down?"

= = = = = = = = = =

Playing games is just a way to escape from real life.

Because in games, you can start all over again.

Because in games, there's walkthrough and guides.

Because in games, there's something call "quit game" or "game over".

If only life is so simple and so easy...

If only we can quit the game whenever we're tired with it...

If only...

= = = = = = = = = =

It's been a while since I typed my blog...

I'm surprised at how much depression I had in my life,

Yet I don't look like one that face depression.

And I certainly don't sound like that in my blog as well. *smirks*

Why, of course, I had nothing towards depression.

And they... aren't really depressions.

Or rather, I'm just trying to turn them into depression, or turn depression into something lighter.

Ah, well, who would care much about this anyway? *shrugs*

After all, even though one's in love with you, they wouldn't go and know you thoroughly inside out.

They have something better to bother about, anyway. *grins*

Don't you, my dear readers? ;3

Random Countdown Survey - I'm Bored

I saw this in Joe's blog.
Well, since I'm kinda bored, I shall do it~ 8D

TEN things about yourself:

1. I'm lazy
   
2. I'm crazy
   
3. I'm weird
   
4. I have a birthmark on my right arm
   
5. Loves all kinds of arts (music, drawings, foods, pretty girl/boy, etc.)
   
6. Though I'm better than most of my friends, I do call myself messy somehow.
   
7. I have an odd temper
   
8. Always have doubts against myself
   
9. I love 2D guys, but I hate real-life guys.
   
10. Girls are definitely the best of all (Nonono, I'm not a sexist. I'm just stating the fact out. PX)
    

NINE of your favourite song:

1. Just Be Friends - Choucho cover [Original by Megurine Luka]
2. Bad Apple - Tohou [Sorry, I don't know who's the singer for this one .w.]
   
3. Rain [by Yui]
   
4. Tsumetai no Kokoro [*cough* I know I'm a little bit prasan, but I do love my creation. 8DDD Who wants to listen? Please comment in FB or here PXXX]
   
5. Run Devil Run [by SNSD]
   
6. Trickster [by Mizuki Nana]
   
7. Empire State of Mind - GLEE cover [I don't know who's the original singer(s)~ 89]
   
8. Hurricane Venus [by BoA]
   
9. Bonamana + Lucifer Mashup [original by Super Junior and SHINee respectively]

PS: Actually, all of them... the singers of their respectful songs, are GOOD. So I can only put ONE song of the favorite singers... or it'll be 9 favorite songs by one single singer PX



EIGHT things you love/like:

1. Good arts 8D
   
2. DRUMMING~~~ *lovesignsallovertheplace*
   
3. Drawing~~~ XP
   
4. School... surprisingly PX (because there's a lot of facilities in the school 8DDD)
   
5. My friends... I guess? Owo
   
6. Some certain idiot/klutz that I'm not supposed to love... oh well.
   
7. Composing! 8D (When I get THAT MacBook Pro... hah! Beware you people... I shall flood you with MUSICS!!!)
   
8. My creations? PXXXXX (prasan betullll~~~ XDDD)
   

SEVEN people you’re glad to have in your life:

1. The dragqueen/imitator/chef/unpunctualbastard/BFF AKA Uon Kou
   
2. SKILLS-nee-chan AKA Reina Chengchengchengchengchengchengcheng 8DDD
   
3. My twin AKA Qiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqiqi XP
   
4. My OTHER twin in UCSI AKA Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmen
   
5. Sii yeh who always forget about my existence AKA Sasasasasasasasasasa
   
6. Some certain idiot that I don't feel like talking about that damned name
   
7. Damn, is this the last slot?! =A= I can't fill in the others. Oh well... All of my OTHER friends (I'm so bad 8D) lies here LOL
   

PS: Family and relatives are NOT included.



SIX things you dislike:

1. My body... damn fat =A=
   
2. My laziness... makes me stupid and fat ===A===
   
3. My family... they make me stupid and fat and unhappy ======A======
   
4. Studying... though I love my school 8D
   
5. Unpunctual people, arrogant people, racist people, foolish people... who creates unhappiness towards the other people.
   
6. Love... because it hurts.

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now:

1. I still love you, but it's no more of your concern. So please get the hell out from my sight, thank you. I know you won't read this, but I really hoped that you could just disappear, so that I can cure myself slowly and steadily without getting anymore false hopes. Though I still must say: Please take care of yourself, and I'm sorry.
   
2. I hate you, and I love you, because you owe me too much but you're my best friend. Please always be punctual like the day you make a surprise for me, because these books that I carry in my arms are still building up and I'm not sure when I'm going to drop all of them on you. You've been warned.
   
3. I hate you. I've said this a lot of times in both of my blogs, especially in my previous one. But I still respect you, that's why I didn't shout the words out in your face, because I'm your daughter. Though I hope that you could disappear somehow, so that I can have some peaceful moment in my life.
   
4. As I've stated in my previous blog, I'm really unhappy about how the assignment works out. Seriously. No matter if you're reading this or not, I must say my trust towards you and your gang has shattered. Still, in music wise, your gang is still my best choice. Therefore, I can't hate you for real.
   
5. Thank you a lot for the encouragement and your criticism. Your honestly is the best thing that I want right now. Of course, along with all the funs and laughter in the university. To be honest, without you in the school, I'm nothing better than being like a zombie roaming around the corner.
   

FOUR ways to win your heart:

1. Honesty winz.
   
2. But of course, being a hentai who loves to strip other people naked wasn't.
   
3. Still, I don't mind the gender, as long as you're good to me.
   
4. But for now, I have something that I need to forget. Unless you have the ability to cure them.
   

THREE things you’ll most likely never forget:

1. Some idiot, but I'm trying very hard to forget right now.
   
2. My friends, duh!
   
3. My favorite songs!!!
   

TWO things you do everyday:

1. Eat
   
2. And sleep. DUH! =A=
   

ONE confession:

1. Due to the fact that I've never been hugged until I'm a full-ledge teenager... a single physical contact may make me feel uncomfortable. Whether it's in a *cough* good way or a bad way, it depends on who's the one who did it. So please don't feel odd if I'm hesitating to return the hug, or having an odd smiling face, or being odd towards a simple physical contact, because I'm trying to accept them.
   
   Unless you make me SERIOUSLY uncomfortable in a very bad way, which I shall have a VERY weird look that seemed to be offended on my face - no, it's NOT a smile, not even a sarcastic smile. During this time, please be smart and let me go, thank you.
   
   So guys, please think TWICE before decided to give me a surprise hug or whatsoever. I can't promise you if I'm going to freak out.

PS: Wow, such a big confession. =A=